


Project Alex

by modernlaurens



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Multi, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-10-21 23:28:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 68,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10685112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/modernlaurens/pseuds/modernlaurens
Summary: John Laurens used to be close friends with Lafayette, Hercules Mulligan, and the Schuyler sisters.However, he had managed to have a falling out with each of them, all in ways a bit different than another.But once John Laurens becomes friends with the new kid Alexander Hamilton, the social butterfly who just-so-happens to be friends with everyone John used to be friends with, John, Lafayette, Hercules and the Schuyler sisters are forced to put their differences aside in order to keep Alexander happy.John, however, may start accidentally falling in love in the process.





	1. CHAPTER ONE

John has kept to himself most of his life.

He doesn’t like making new friends (and whenever he does he always manages to somehow mess up the friendship). So considering those circumstances, he’s alone. He doesn’t...mind being alone, exactly. He likes it sometimes.

But sometimes, seeing people on Twitter/Facebook/Snapchat with their friends, having the best times of their lives whilst John is home alone drawing and eating way too much ice cream, kind of hurts him a little bit.

He’s never been open enough to willingly speak to people, though. He dislikes talking to people first (it’s just...so awkward). So he stays quiet unless someone else speaks to him. He used to get a lot of people talking to him in ninth grade.

Eventually, as people started to know him and he began to drift away (quickly) from old friends (for multiple reasons) he started to become lonelier. The loneliness only made him feel sad when he saw ex-friends having a blast.

And that’s only because he only allowed a few people into his life.

The first person he’s ever allowed himself to become close with was a guy named Lafayette in tenth grade. Okay, so, his last name is Lafayette but John could never, ever be assed to remember his full name (he has like nine).

Lafayette was kind, charming, softhearted, and he held conversations extremely well. He was always the first to text John and he was always the type of person to cheer you up with you’re terribly sad. John used to be sad a lot. Lafayette used to cheer him up a lot.

And John tried his best to cheer Lafayette up, too.

Lafayette never got sad very often.

If he was, he’d never really show it.

He was usually guarded with his emotions. Romantic, sad, angry. He always seemed extremely happy. That’s why John enjoyed being around him as much as he was.

But then Lafayette changed.

He started to become angry and bitter. He’d take his anger out on John and then apologize the next day for it but it’d always happen again. John couldn’t bring himself to break off the friendship or find a way to repair it. 

They split up.

Lafayette drifted off to two guys named Thomas Jefferson and James Madison – they’re complete assholes who only care about themselves. Lafayette turned into one of those assholes who only cares about himself.

The next friend was Hercules Mulligan. 

They met around the end of tenth grade. He was what John would describe as a ‘gigantic teddy bear’. He played sports a lot, danced, and he also designed clothing. He never really wore his designs, he just made them for fun.

They stayed friends until summer and then they stopped speaking as much. The occasionally ‘hey’, ‘hi’ text but otherwise that was it. When they came back to school that fall, they didn’t speak anymore. Hercules became friends with a few people named Martha, Dolly and Aaron.

They smile in the hallways sometimes, though.

He was also close with The Schuyler Sisters during the beginning to the middle of eleventh grade. Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy were like siblings to him. Sure, John has a few siblings already, but they were a lot closer than his were.

They embraced him, they talked about their feelings, they were open and caring and loving.

They were the first people John came out to.

So accepting, so loving, so everything. John loved to be around them.

He was the one who started to drift away from them.

He became scared.

Every other friends he had drifted away and left him. He had expected Angelica, Eliza and Peggy to become the same way. He ignored them during school hours, ignored their texts (eventually blocked their numbers).

The last thing Angelica said to John was ‘honestly? Go fuck yourself’.

That’s the last he heard of any of the Schuyler sisters.

John was for sure that he was going to be forever a hermit after that. No friends (which he was content with sometimes) and no memories being made during high school that weren’t one hundred percent bitter.

Then...there came Alexander Hamilton.

A loud mouth asshole who always gets himself in trouble with teachers. He transferred in the middle of grade eleven (around the time John and the Schuyler sisters gave up on each other) and John always found himself smiling at Alexander whenever he’d begin to sass off the teacher.

It wasn’t meant to ever be rude, he was actually correcting them on things he knew a lot about, but he’d always get in trouble for it. He was sent to detention multiple times for causing fights in the hallways over feminism and racism.

John really admired him.

And eventually, Alexander finally spoke to John.

“You know, wearing a shirt that says ‘Feminism Rules’ and staring at me in class is kind of obvious.” He said, voice joking, eyes beaming at John as he stood in front of his desk, bending down, meeting John’s eyes.

John flushed red, “What?!” He squeaked. Alexander quirked an eyebrow. “Shut up! I just...I was wearing this anyways. Also, I’m only looking at you because you talk a lot and I’m respectful.”

Alexander snorted. “I wasn’t speaking today.”

“Surprising.” John’s eyes widened when he spoke, “I mean – sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound so harsh.”

“It’s true.” Alexander stayed smiling, “I’m Alexander. You can call me Alex, though.”

“John.” John responded, playing with his fingers underneath the desk. He feels at ease speaking to Alexander but he always has a panic in his chest when meeting new people. 

How long will it be until this one leaves, too?

“I don’t see you around much.” Alexander brought up. He doesn’t sound mean whilst talking about it, more like confused. “I see you in class and stuff, yeah, but never in the hallways or anywhere like that. Why?”

John shrugged. “I don’t know. I spend a lot of time in the library.”

“The library? So you’re a nerd?” Alexander joked. John could tell he was joking for the pure reason of knowing that Alexander is the real nerd here. He answers nearly every answer in every single class John is in.

“I draw in there.”

“An artsy nerd?” 

John smiled, looked down at his desk. “Guess so.”

“Don’t worry, it’s a compliment. Nerds are super cool.” 

“You’re complimenting yourself, huh?”

“You caught me.” John found himself smiling more, looking up at Alexander finally.

John has always appreciated how beautiful Alex is. He’s got really nice hair and a super soft body. His eyes are absolutely gorgeous and he’s always so open with what he believes in. John is frequently in awe with how open and loud Alexander is. He’s the person he wishes he could always be.

However, from what it seems, John is the complete opposite. He doesn’t speak unless necessary, is gay only in private (well, he’s always gay but he’s only open about it in private), and Alexander has so many friends already.

John? Well, not so much.

The bell blared loudly and Alexander sat in the joined seat next to John’s as their teacher walked into the classroom, waiting for everyone to settle down. They’re in English, currently talking about Romeo and Juliet.

They learned about it in 8th grade, too, but not as thoroughly. God, it’s so annoying.

But it’s kind of amusing with Alexander in your class, though. He’s a complete English junkie (apparently) and he’s always giving his opinion even when it’s not asked for.

Alexander turned to John before their teacher began to speak, “Hey, you should come sit with me during lunch. With my friends.”

John’s eyebrows furrowed – really? “Uh...who’re your friends?”

“Aaron Burr, Martha, Dolly, Hercules, a few more people but they don’t always sit down at the table with us.”

Hercules.

“No thank you.” John rushed quickly. Alexander looked confused, still he nodded.

“Alright. Your loss.” He joked.

John could feel his heart tear.

Yeah, his loss.


	2. CHAPTER TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander invites John out to a cafe to get to know him better.  
> You also meet John's dad.  
> Goodie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Warning: John's dad is homophobic. There isn't much added onto that in this chapter but it is briefly mentioned.}

John and Alexander speak a lot during the classes they have together. John has never allowed himself to say yes to the lunch invitations, though. Alexander asks him every single day without fail and to them John always, always, always says no.

He can’t face Hercules. Not after almost two years of not speaking to him.

Sure, Hercules is one of the friends who never exactly came to a brutal ending but John knows that if he sees him he might break down. His emotions are fragile, he’s easily hurt, and the amount of days John found himself crying over Hercules without knowing it was brutal.

But, yeah, at least he and Hercules didn’t end like he and Lafayette or he and the Schuyler sisters.

Sometimes John wishes he had closure, though.

“You can’t be that obsessed with drawing that you literally are not able to come sit with me at lunch even once.” Alexander brought up one day, voice soft and staring at the front of the class as their History teacher dragged on. Nothing Alexander wants to fight about today, apparently.

“I’d just rather be alone.” John said – not one hundred percent a lie but not one hundred percent the truth. “It’s calmer.”

“I don’t believe you.” Alexander said. “You seemed like you wanted to before you knew who I was sitting with.”

John bit his lip. He shrugged. “That has nothing to do with it.”

Alexander didn’t seem convinced at all however he nodded hesitantly. “Okay.” There was a little bit of silence from him. “Fine. How about we meet up at a cafe today? Just me and you.”

John’s eyebrows furrowed. He tried to fight back a soft smile. “Why?”

Alexander sighed, shoulders drooping a little bit. John turned his head to look at Alex for a few seconds. He seems nervous and it’s the first time John has ever seen Alexander Hamilton of all people look this way. He shrugged.

“I want to get to know you better.” He confessed.

“Why? You already have so many friends.”

“I do.” Alexander licked his bottom lip. John turned his head away from Alex. “But I don’t enjoy talking to them as much as you. Well, I have a few super close friends but...that’s it. I already like speaking to you and we only whisper during and before class.”

“We said hi in the hallway once.”

Alexander released a soft, breathy laugh and nodded. “We did.” There was a pause as their teacher looked over at them. She narrowed her eyes at Alexander (she really, really doesn’t like him) before continuing on. “So?”

“Sure.” John found himself saying quickly, “Alone?”

“Yes.” Alexander finally looked over at John. John looked over at Alexander. They both smiled. “Give me your number after class so I can text you after school.”

* * *

**_Unknown Number: Hey! It’s Alexander Hamilton!_ **

John sat on the uncomfortable bus seats, one of his legs pulled up to his chest once he got the text from Alex. He smiled a little bit, adverting his eyes from where he watched his old friend Lafayette chat with Elizabeth Schuyler.

He can almost not believe that the two of them are friends now.

It’s like fate has it out for him.

**_John: HI!!_ **

**_John: sorry, too enthusiastic?_ **

**_Alexander H: Not at all!!! so, 5pm?_ **

**_John: how about 7? Family dinner._ **

**_Alexander H: works for me! i’d have to do my homework there tho._ **

**_John: What homework_ **

**_Alexander H: math :(_ **

**_John: Not that you need the help at all but I can try_ **

**_Alexander H: Contrary to popular belief, I do suck at some things._ **

**_Alexander H: math is one of those things._ **

**_John: o well I suck too but_ **

**_John: at least youll have moral support_ **

**_Alexander H: touche!!!!!_ **

Alex told John the cafe name (Rose’s Cafe, apparently). John’s never heard of the place before but it sounds kind of cute. It’s a bit weird to know that Alexander knows more places in this down that John does and John has lived here his whole life.

Talking with Alex was able to distract him from painfully watching Lafayette talk with Eliza, though. He’s not sure how or why the two became friends (maybe they bonded over how terrible of a person John is) but they are friends now. It hurts a lot to watch.

The fact that if John weren’t so over dramatic he’d still be friends with the Schuyler sisters eats him up so much. And if he just didn’t give up on Lafayette when he was clearly hurting...

There’s so many things that could’ve been changed.

He was just too late.

He was too stupid.

When the bus stopped, John grabbed his bookbag and walked off the bus, keeping his eyes on his feet, knowing that if he happened to raise his eyes even slightly to look at Eliza, Lafayette, Angelica or Peggy (Hercules is thankfully not on his bus) he’d probably trip and, like, die.

He exited, followed suite by one of the girls who lives near him. That’s all, though. He doesn’t know her name and doesn’t want to know her name. They walked silently side-by-side until John got to his house and entered.

When he entered, he stood face-to-face with his younger sister, Martha. Her eyes are narrowed and he’s expecting her to throw something he was ‘supposed to do’ before he went to school today. She’s going through her snooty middle-school phase right now and it makes John literally want to scream 24/7.

“Yes..?” John dragged off slowly, hesitantly.

“I wasn’t expecting you to walk through the door. I’m waiting for dad.”

John’s eyebrows furrowed, confused. “Why?”

It’s not usual that any of his siblings (including himself) willingly speak to their father. He’s very controlling of their lives so they all try to stay away from him as much as physically possible. Otherwise, y’know, self esteem plummets.

“Because I want to go out with my friends today but he’s forcing us to have a dumb family dinner!” She exclaimed, eyes narrowing. Her hair is dyed black (terribly dyed) and she’s wearing an extremely white foundation (which she shouldn’t – she isn’t pale at all and she’s completely white washing herself) and she looks like the definition of emo. It’s amusing, really.

“You aren’t getting out of the dinner, Martha. It’s the only time in a week where dad can freely insult us and then pass it off as a joke and get mad at us for being too sensitive.” He patted Martha’s shoulder softly.

“Gah!” She stomped her foot, “I know! But I can try!”

“Didn’t say you couldn’t try.”

Martha rolled her eyes as John walked past her, up to his room.

* * *

“So, how was school?” John’s dad, Henry, asked as the table swept over with awkward silence. No one wanted to answer, unsure of how to please their father with their words. ‘It was okay’ isn’t clear enough, ‘bad’ is too selfish, and anything else he finds a way to pick at until it becomes a bad thing.

He looked over at John when no one responded, “John?”

“Uh,” John cleared his throat as he picked at the spaghetti their maid made for them. John, personally, fucking despises the idea of having a maid. Their family has so much money though that Henry says it’s ‘completely necessary’.

It just...really makes him uneasy.

“It was good. I’m going out with a friend later.” He responded, choosing his words hesitantly.

“Oh! That’s interesting.” He exclaimed. “Is this friend a girl?”

Fuck.

“Uh, no. His name is Alexander.”

Henry’s face dropped from the slight excitement he had. “You should surround yourself with more girls, Jack.” He spit. “People will start to think that you’re gay. What ever happened to those nice girls you used to be friends with?”

“Uh...we just stopped talking.” John lied, forced. His dad has always been homophobic and didn’t even try to hide it.

“Shame. They were hot.” He joked. John felt even more uncomfortable. No one laughed. “Anyways, as I was saying, we do not need any gay rumours spreading around about this family.”

John licked his bottom lip, nodded weakly. “Yes, father.”

Thankfully, the conversation soon drifted away from John and towards Martha’s ‘poor fashion choices’. Apparently she should dress like a respectable young lady, not in all black with ‘horrendous makeup’. John doesn’t like to head his dad say bad things about any of his siblings but...there’s not much he can do about anything until he moves out and finishes University.

Dinner ended when Henry got a call from his job, something John (and his siblings) were very thankful of. John decided to leave the house before he couldn’t, grabbing his wallet and phone and car keys.

He has his own car that he (rarely) uses only because his dad usually uses it for work purposes. John doesn’t know why he got it for his birthday if he’s not able to, like, bring it to school instead of suffering on the bus.

He sat inside, wrapping his seatbelt around himself and pulling out of the driveway, making his way down the street. Alexander had sent him the location earlier so all he has to do is listen to an annoying robotic voice for around 10 minutes until he gets there.

He had his music up a little bit but he wasn’t paying attention, mind too clouded over with the thought of Alexander. He usually didn’t think about the boy much outside of school (there was no sense to) but now Alexander wants them to hang out...alone.

John doesn’t know why one hundred percent. Sure, Alexander had said that John is ‘easy to speak to’ but John has always been quite the opposite. He’s timid, agrees to everything someone says even when he doesn’t, and hardly speaks.

Then again...

He’s not like that with Alexander.

Alexander is easy to talk to and it makes John a little uneasy. The only other people he had ease speaking to was Lafayette, Hercules, and the Schuyler sisters. Those things all ended quickly and left John heart broken.

He’s still heart broken.

John pulled into Rose’s Cafe, already able to see Alexander through the window. His eyebrows are furrowed a little bit and he’s writing in a small notebook, laptop open and coffee next to his computer. He smiled softly, exiting his car and opening the door to the cafe.

Hardly anyone is here. There’s an elderly couple in the corner and someone who looks like a stressed out University student but that’s about it. And then there’s Alexander, of course, who looked up as soon as the small bell went off on top of the door.

“Hey!” Alexander exclaimed softly as John sat next to him, his smile bright. He looks...beautiful right now, if that isn’t weird to say. “I didn’t end up bringing my math, just my English. My math isn’t due for a few more days, so...”

John smiled, “Alright. Good, I forgot my math book.”

Alexander giggled, “Honestly? Me too.”

John absolutely admired Alexander’s little laugh. He darted his tongue out for a quick second to lick his lips, “Are you getting anything?” He asked, “A drink?”

“Uh,” John looked up at the barista. Then nodded. “Yeah. Recommendations?”

Alexander shrugged, “I don’t know. I get black coffee.”

John’s face screwed up and Alexander smiled more. “What?”

“Black coffee?” He asked, voice disgusted. “Seriously?”

“Yeah!” Alexander kicked John’s leg gently underneath the table.

“You’re disgusting.”

“I’ve been told.” Alex’s smile never faltered, watching John with a sort of fondness in his eye. John didn’t realize it though as he stood up, walking over to the barista and ordering a sweet drink. He could never stand something as bitter as Alex’s drink.

How could someone so sweet drink something so bitter?

John also decided to order a blueberry muffin (just because) before making his way back to Alexander, sitting down. “Do you want half of this muffin?”

Alexander’s head titled to the side like a confused puppy. John smiled. “Are you sure?”

“Mhm. I don’t really like muffins but I wanted something to go with my drink. So,” John cracked his muffin in half, handing the bigger half to Alexander and keeping the smaller half for himself. “Besides, I ate dinner not that long ago.”

“Okay. Thank-you.” Alexander’s voice softened. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Mhm.” John put one of his legs on the seat he’s sitting on like he did in the bus today. He bit a piece of his muffin, laying the back of his hand against his coffee to see if it’s too hot. (It is.)

“What happened between you and Lafayette?”

John paused.

He didn’t speak for a while, eyebrows furrowed and staring at the table. Alexander knows Lafayette, too? Life really does have it out for him, doesn’t it? Is Alexander literally only here to help Lafayette get back at John?

Would Lafayette do that?

Would Alexander do that?

He doesn’t know any of these people enough. Lafayette not anymore. He wouldn’t have done it a few years ago but now who knows? And Alexander...well, all John knows is that he’s open with his opinions and he’s easy to speak to.

“Why do you want to know?” John asked, voice coming out bitter though he didn’t mean for it to.

“I...you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Alexander seemed to regret what he had said instantly. “It’s just...I mentioned your name today and he seemed to just...tense up. He didn’t seem like himself.”

John shrugged, “We just grew up.” He swallowed down everything he wanted to say about Lafayette. How they were best friends, they helped each other, John cared for him, then Lafayette became a seemingly terrible person overnight and left him for other people out of the blue.

But he didn’t.

“High school and stuff.”

Alexander nodded, biting down on his bottom lip. “Oh. Sorry for picking at old wounds. I...I...talk before I think sometimes if you couldn’t tell.”

“It’s okay.” John forced himself to smile, laying his hand on top of Alexander’s without thinking much of it.

Alexander stared at John’s hand for a few seconds, cleared his throat, and then smiled widely as if nothing had happened. “Okay! Good. Now I have to get back to this fucking essay.”

“What’re you writing the essay about?” John asked, taking a sip of his coffee and ignoring the burning on his tongue. “And why’re you writing it so early? It isn’t due for two weeks.”

“I like to work quickly.” Alexander responded, “Uh, and I chose to write about love.”

“I chose pain.” John snorted.

Their assignment was to choose to write about either pain, love, war, lust, and friendship. He didn’t really have much experience with any of those besides, you guessed it, pain. That’s what he went for.

“Guess we’re opposites, huh?” Alexander smiled. John nodded.

“So, why love? Are you dating anyone?”

Alexander shook his head slowly, “I like someone. Well...” He was about to say something else, then stopped. “Yeah, I like someone. I don’t want to write about anything else and I just want to write a sappy love essay that could make your teeth rot.”

“My goal is to make our teacher cry. So...”

Alexander and John looked at each other and then both laughed loudly, disturbing the silence and comfort. But it was nice to laugh again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this omg.  
> I've been getting rlly nice comments and iM GLAD u guys are enjoying this because I'm really enjoying writing it.  
> Also, I'm going to be posting a few one-shots here and there (of various Hamilton ships) so if you have a ship you really want me to write about (or a prompt) comment them bc!! I ship basically everything.


	3. CHAPTER THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is forced with a science partner he doesn't exactly want after there's no one in the class left.  
> Also, John talks to old friends for the first time in a long time.

John went to school the next day and went right to his locker, keeping his head down as he began to open it, headphones plugged into his phones as he listened to some music that’s so quiet it’s basically silent. He doesn’t want to risk anyone hearing what he’s listening to.

Because, like, it _totally isn’t_ Britney Spears.

John flinched in complete surprise when someone grabbed his shoulder tightly. He was half expecting to get beaten up and even though it hasn’t happened before there is a time for everything. He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing for impact.

Nothing.

“John?”

His whole body visibly relaxed as he heard Alexander’s voice. He pulled his headphones out of his ears, turning around quickly to look at Alex. “I’m sorry! I didn’t know it was y—,” He cut his sentence off, looking behind Alexander and at Hercules.

His body slumped.

Hercules stared at him for a few seconds before turning his head, talking to a girl with straight, dark brown hair. He pretended as if John wasn’t even there. John pushed back a few tears, really not prepared to cry over Hercules again.

“I didn’t know it was you.” John repeated, clearing his throat. “What is it?”

“I want you to sit at our table with us this lunch and I don’t want you to say no.” Alexander said, eyebrow raised, arms crossed.

John’s eyes flickered back to look at Hercules. He seems tense and awkward as one of his friends rubbed his arm. Friend? Girlfriend? John isn’t sure. “Alex, I already told you,” John opened his locker to grab his science and history books. “I’d rather be alone.”

“I know.” Alexander frowned, “But just this once! I want to introduce you to my friends.”

John wanted to say that he already knows them...well, Hercules and Lafayette at the very least. But he didn’t want Alexander to question even more of his past friendships and his terrible luck when it comes to choosing friends.

John heard Hercules snort sarcastically.

“Maybe one day.” John forced.

“Ugh!” Alexander stomped his foot, “Fine!”

“Thank you.” John said, closing his locker.

“Mhm.” Alexander looked unimpressed and John ignored the devious glint in his eye. “Anyways, what class do you have first?”

“Science and then History!” John exclaimed, mocking excitement.

“I like history!”

“Only because you fight with nearly everything Mrs. Owen says to us.”

“It’s not my fault everything she says to us is historically inaccurate.”

John smiled, rolling his eyes halfway fondly. “Okay. I’ll see you at history class, then.”

“Always.”

“That sounded like a really cheesy thing a cishet boy would say to his girlfriend before they see each other in class again as if being separated is so traumatic.”

“Hey, I mean, all of that is true besides the fact that I’m bi. Not seeing you will be so difficult my love.” Alexander joked, sighing dramatically. John giggled and Hercules scoffed a little bit from behind Alex. He soon spoke.

“We have to leave.”

His voice changed. It got a lot deeper and his tolerance seemed to get lower. John and Hercules used to be able to at least say hello to each other once in a while. Now it seems that Hercules has lost all interest and tolerance for John.

“Right!” Alex bounced on his heels, “See you!”

“Bye.” John waved slowly, meeting Hercules’ eyes for a second before he turned and walked away.

John stood in the hallway against his locker for at least a minute, trying to calm his heart down. He shouldn’t be so affected seeing an old friend. Only John would find a way to almost cry over a friendship that only lasted for a few months.

In his defense, however, that friendship was nearing perfect.

Hercules was nearing perfect.

He’s a lot bigger now, too. A lot more muscles than he used to have. His body filled out evenly (he used to look kind of awkward. His head used to be way too small for his body). He’s gotten a lot hotter. A lot more confident.

It’s unfair!

John rubbed his face quickly, shaking his head and gulping as he made his way towards science class.

* * *

Science class makes John miserable.

He used to love science (despite mostly caring for artistic subjects). It made him interested and his teacher was always super funny. However, John was always with close friends in his science class. He and those close friends always paired up together and worked together.

This year? He has no close friends in his class.

This year? He has fucking Lafayette in his class.

Lafayette didn’t send him a single glance since the year had started. They had science one more day before this where they simply went over basic rules. Today is the day they choose partners, though and John is petrified.

He knows no one in this class besides the person who probably wants him dead and it seems like everyone else already has their partners picked out. So, when Mr. Jackman told everyone to pick their partners, John wasn’t surprised when no one asked him.

He was surprised, however, to see Lafayette with no one.

Since they stopped becoming friends and Lafayette became friends with Thomas and James, the three have always been the people in the school nearly everyone lusted over. John would, too, if he wasn’t so heartbroken.

John refused to stand up and ask Lafayette. He’d rather do it himself than become partners with him and be forced to speak to him again. John couldn’t keep his eyes off of the Frenchman, though. He looked around, searching for someone who wasn’t already paired up.

His eyes landed on John.

_He looked so disappointed._

John swallowed down his emotions as Lafayette made his way over, clearly not wanting to do so. It hurts him to know that Lafayette dislikes John so much that even being partners with him is enough to make him walk so slowly as if the world is crashing around him.

“Guess we’re partners.” Lafayette spoke to John.

It was the first time he heard his voice in two years.

His voice has gotten a lot deeper, too, but full of disappointment.

“Yeah.” John responded. He didn’t want to look up.

He didn’t realize how insecure he felt around Lafayette and Hercules until this point. John’s voice didn’t change, John didn’t grow, and if anything he somehow managed to get a lot smaller. He looks and sounds the same exact way he did in tenth grade.

It’s embarrassing.

Their teacher began to write down the students who’re paired together, muttering the names quietly to himself. John drew shapes on the top of his desk with his index finger, a habit that he’s always had growing up and still carries with him.

He only does it when he’s feeling anxious/when he’s embarrassed by something. He’s feeling kind of both right now.

“For the first experiment we’re going to be making volcanoes.” Mr. Jackman said. A few people snorted and even John released one. “I know, ha ha ha, you all did this in seventh grade. But I felt like it would help you get to know your partner a lot better.”

_John really could go without knowing his partner more._

Mr. Jackman put what they needed to mix on the board but he didn’t put measurements to ‘add an element of surprise’ or some shit. John didn’t know but he wanted to hurry up and get through this with as little talking as necessary.

“I did not make a volcano in seventh grade.” Lafayette said. He still doesn’t simplify words. You would assume that being around a bunch of teenagers would alter his vocabulary. Guess not. “So I have no idea what we are doing.”

His voice is still bitter, and John is practically shaking.

“I’ll do it.” He whispered. If he talks even slightly he’ll probably break down into pathetic tears.

Why does the world have it out for him so much?

“I want to do it, too. If Mr. Jackman catches me not helping he will not be happy.” Lafayette muttered.

“Fine.” John said, “Make the actual volcano or whatever.”

“We are not doing that until next class. Were you not paying attention?”

John rolled his eyes, “I wasn’t.”

“Well you should pay attention more.” Lafayette spit, “We are perfecting the...the...uh...”

“The chemical reaction?” John asked.

“Oui!”

John has to admit, the way that Lafayette doesn’t know some words still makes him a little bit amused. It’s kind of adorable – it was, anyways – to have a friend who didn’t know what ‘I’m’ was at one point in his life.

“Oh.” John was too far in his head to really listen to what Mr. Jackman was saying. “Honestly, I can’t believe this is our first project during grade 12.”

“Like I said, I did not do this before.” John could practically hear Lafayette roll his eyes and, right. They aren’t friends. They were but now they’re not because Lafayette quite literally hated (and still does) John’s guts.

“Right. Sorry.” John apologized quickly, “Well all we need is vinegar and baking soda.”

“Really?”

“Mhm.” John raised his head a little bit, leaning over Lafayette to grab the vinegar. He held his breath when his arm brushed against Lafayette’s chest. “Sorry.”

“It is fine.”

Everything is so awkward between them. Knowing that they went from making dirty innuendos about each other to not being able to brush arms is so fucking odd and crushing.

* * *

John made it through science and got to lunch in one piece. He walked into the library, smiling at the librarian and sitting down at his usual desk in the back, taking out his sketch book and laying his head on one of his hands, flicking through it to a new page.

John isn’t the best at drawing yet, but he’s practicing his hardest. He can draw cartoons pretty well and that’s really all he sticks to. His realism is decent but he can never get the person he’s drawing to look exactly the same. It always looks off.

John sighed, drawing a circle and started on the head of a new random person, tuning out the world around him and only focusing on the art in front of him. For an hour he can ignore Lafayette, Hercules, the Schuyler sisters, and even Alexander.

Well, that’s what he was hoping for.

“John!”

John dropped his pencil on the desk, looking up at Alexander.

“What the f—Alex, this is what we’re doing here? I thought we were here because you’re a dumbass and forgot to finish your French assignment?” John’s heart clenched for nearly the 100th time today, looking up at Hercules.

“We are here because I’m a dumbass and forgot to finish my French assignment.” Alexander said, sitting down across from John. “But it just so happens that my new pal John is here!”

“Fucking seriously?” He spit. Alexander looked so confused and John almost felt bad as he stood up abruptly, staring at Hercules for one second before lowering his head, stuffing his sketchbook into his bookbag.

“Sorry.” John rushed, voice cracking. “I’ll leave. Didn’t mean to cause trouble.”

“John! C’mon, Herc didn’t mean it!”

“I didn’t?”

“What the fuck--,” Alexander hissed as John rushed out quickly, holding his bookbag close to him, breathing quick.

He doesn’t deserve this.

He finally gets a new friend. He’s kind, cute, funny, open, fun to be around, yet he’s friends with Hercules and Lafayette? The people who clearly are not very fond of John at all?

John assumed that (maybe) they were past it. Maybe they could all be friends again, at least try. For Alexander’s sake.

They can’t even do that.

John didn’t even stay around for English class – he left as soon as that happened. He didn’t want to deal with Alexander any more today. He just wanted to go home and cry his little heart out.

He cared so much for Hercules and Lafayette (and the Schuyler sisters). He wanted to give them his whole world but nothing can ever work out for John.

A homophobic and hateful dad, a dead mom, siblings who hate him, one friend who just-so-happens to also be friends with the 5 people who John spilled his heart and soul out to, and so much more. He hurts so bad.

He wants to be a normal kid for fuck sakes.

Best friends, parties, drinking, dumb mistakes that your parents will never forgive you for until you’re 30 and married with fucking kids of your own. He wants to have both of his parents, understanding and able to coach him through his life.

Playful fights with his siblings.

Not actually hating each other.

He has none of that.

_He clearly never will_.

John walked home, head down and heart heavy.

His dad wasn’t home when he got back so John rushed up to his room, closing his door and locking it quietly. He shoved his bookbag down on the ground, not caring what’s in it and fell onto his bed, staring up at his ceiling.

There are glow in the dark stars on his ceiling that hardly glow anymore.

Peggy put them there when he told her that he’s scared of the dark.

_Peggy._

_Angelica._

_Eliza._

_Alexander._

_Hercules._

_Lafayette._

_**FUCK!** _

John broke down, covering his face with his hands and drew his legs close to his chest, sobbing hard and quiet. Body shaking, heart hurting. He doesn’t deserve anything good.

He fucking doesn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY THANKS FOR READING UR ALL SUPER CUTE ILYSM!  
> Btw, I have a twitter which is moderndodie. I tweet a lot about Hamilton and, well, dodie clark aka doddleoddle.  
> I think that's it??  
> Kudos and comments make my heart soar, btw ;^)
> 
> *oh, and the schuyler sisters will come into the story but not as early as Lafayette or Hercules. They're mentioned but they never rlly speak to John until later <3*


	4. CHAPTER FOUR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Project Alex is formed and John finds out something about Alexander that he didn't really want to know.

John woke up with a terrible headache and to his phone dinging loudly from inside his pocket. He rubbed at his face, remembering what had happened before he took a nap. All the hurtful things that happened to him.

He closed his eyes for a few seconds before sighing and pulling his phone out of his pocket, opening his phone and scrolling down through his messages. There aren’t a lot.

**3 Texts from Alexander H.**

He read those before seeing who else was texting him.

_**Alexander H: :(( John?? im so fucking sorry.** _

_**Alexander H: Herc told me what happened. I didnt know.** _

_**Alexander H: I wouldnt hurt you on purpose.** _

John made a mental note to respond later.

He looked at his other texts, eyebrows furrowing when seeing a group chat with the name ‘Project Alex’.

He opened it, hands shaking and scrolled to the top. His throat ran dry when he saw who’s in the chat.

_**Hercules M: Hello, men. I’m making this chat for one reason and one reason only and that’s to pretend that we’re friends for Alexander.** _

_**Lafayette: ??? uh why** _

_**Lafayette: You and I are friends? Why does fucking john tie into this equation?** _

_**Hercules M: BECAUSE john is also alexander’s friendly** _

_**Lafayette: great** _

_**Hercules M: Shut up, Laf.** _

_**Hercules M: Listen, alex was torn up today after what happened between john and i in the library** _

_**Lafayette: What happened** _

_**Hercules M: dumb stuff. John basically cried bc he saw me and i didnt want to sit with john blah blah blah** _

_**Hercules M: Anyways, Alexander was different the rest of the day and i feel bad** _

_**Hercules M: and Alex and I are sorta u know** _

_**Lafayette: I do.** _

_**Hercules M: Yeah!! I wanna make him happy, even if that means fucking sucking it up and pretending like we don’t hate each other.** _

_**Lafayette: Well, like we don’t hate john.** _

They’re not even hiding it.

John bit his lip, not wanting to cry again as he responded.

_**John: Thanks.** _

_**Hercules M: Ok good ur here** _

_**John: I am.** _

_**Hercules M: u in?** _

_**John: For Alex? I guess, yeah. Sure.** _

_**Lafayette: ...lol** _

_**Lafayette: okay.** _

_**Lafayette: Project Alex starts tomorrow.** _

_**John: That’s a really dumb name.** _

_**Hercules M: suck it up, pretty boy.** _

John released a loud breath through his nose, forcing away a blush at the ‘pretty boy’. Hercules used to always call him a pretty boy when they used to be friends only because John had ‘super nice eyelashes and really cute freckles’.

The name must’ve stuck.

John muted the group chat and quickly responded to Alexander, apologizing as well for his behaviour and that he shouldn’t have reacted the way that he reacted and that it was irresponsible. It was, it was so irresponsible and John regrets it so hard.

John regrets a lot of things.

He stared at the wall for a few minutes, doing nothing besides wishing time away. He has so much homework to do, so many other things to do with his life besides stare at a wall and mourn over friendships he’s lost but...

It’s so hard to deal with things like this.

Knowing that now he’s going to have to pretend to like two boys who also have to pretend as well. Seeing their glares at him every single day, hearing their bitter voice, it’s going to kill him inside. He knows it will.

But this is for Alex.

John doesn’t want to lose Alex like he did with his other friends. He wants to make this okay. He wants to make this right.

John held his phone tightly in his hand as he got up from his bed, eyes probably red and he probably looks like he’s been through war and back but to be honest he feels so dehydrated right now and like he cried out every single moisture in his whole fucking body.

He walked past Martha’s room, listening to her playing some dumb emo music that John never did like. He’s always been more of a...pop/rap person. He’s never had an emo phase and for that he’s grateful.

John grabbed some water, drinking it slowly and leaning against the counter, looking around their large kitchen. No one is really home right now besides Martha and maybe their maid. The younger ones should be at daycare – Henry JR usually goes out with his friends after school.

He’s lucky to have friends, John thinks.

It’s kind of sad to compare your social life to a kid’s however kids are a lot less cruel. Kids play together and have fun together no matter what. John is older now and all of those possibilities of becoming friends with the people he used to admire are so far gone out the window.

* * *

“Hey! I just...I needed to apologize in person, too. For what I did.” John looked at Alexander, a small frown on his lips. The poor boy looks absolutely wrecked. He looks tired, worn down, and incredibly guilty.

“You don’t have to.” John soothed, speaking softly. He has to put on such a facade to trick Alexander into thinking that Hercules, Lafayette and himself are _trying_. Sure, they’re acting, but they’re not actually trying to mend the past wounds. “Seriously. I ran away and acted like a little baby.”

“But I—,” Alexander began and John shook his head, laying his hand softly on Alexander’s arm, caressing the exposed skin with his thumb. The action visibly calmed the boy down and he released a gentle breath. “Okay.”

“Okay.” John smiled forcefully, turning to face his locker. “Say, I was thinking, maybe I could sit with you at lunch today?”

Yesterday, before John went to sleep, he checked the group chat. Hercules told John that Alexander would never ask for him to sit with them again so he had to act out upon it himself. John doesn’t want to sit with Hercules but...for Alex.

“What?” John could practically see Alexander furrow his eyebrows. “Are you...sure? Even after what happened yesterday?”

“Yeah!” John nodded, swallowing. “I need to get over my grudge. You’re my friend, Hercules is your friend, it’s...just the right thing to do.”

“You don’t have to...” Alexander dragged off, voice hesitant. “There will be a lot more people at the table, too. I don’t want to pressure you.”

Despite every being in his body, John turned around and forced a gentle smile at Alexander. “I want to.”

“Okay...” Alex smiled, nodded quickly, and hugged John. It took John off guard. He hasn’t been hugged in so long, the feeling of it makes him feel both so confused and so happy at the same time. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around Alex, laying his head on Alex’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Of course, Alex.” John whispered, hugging him tighter. He then realized that, yeah, sure, this may hurt him beyond repair but as long as he’s doing it for someone as perfect and as kind as Alexander (despite his big mouth ways) it’s...kind of worth it.

From behind them, John heard someone clear their throat so he quickly pulled away. Gay rumours start quickly and whilst the rumours wouldn’t be false, they’re the last thing he needs his father to hear.

Thankfully (or not thankfully?) it was only Hercules, Martha and Dolly.

“Hey!” Alexander exclaimed. He bit his lip. “John is sitting with us at lunch today. Is that alright?”

Hercules raised an eyebrow, stared at John for a second (eyes harsh) and then turned back to Alex. His expression softened slightly. John sighed. “Yeah. Totally.”

“Good.” Alexander looked between the two, “ _Good_.”

* * *

Lunch came a lot quicker than John had wanted. Thankfully, he had English so Alexander was able to walk to the cafeteria with him. He hadn’t been to the cafeteria since he was friends with maybe Lafayette.

Hercules and the Schuyler sisters would always go to the library with him. They all liked it better (or so they said). John was unsure if they were doing it for his sake or if they actually felt that way. Either way, John appreciated it.

“My friends are pretty cool.” Alexander began talking as they walked. John stayed silent as he listened. “They’re mostly nice. Hercules – well, you know him, but he’s kind of a shell, y’know? Like...a good shell. He seems harsh but he’s such a sweetheart.”

_Sure_ .

“Martha and Dolly are dating and they’re the sweetest people on planet earth. They’re so kind and supportive.” Alexander explained. John has no opinion on Martha or Dolly at all. “They enjoy drawing, though! Well, Dolly does. You might like them?”

_Doubtful_ .

“Aaron Burr...he doesn’t sit with us often. He’s usually off doing as much as he can to become the best student in this school. A total suck up. I like him a lot, though. He’s kinda like me.”

_Well, he must be good then._

“And there’s Lafayette.” John held his breath a little bit. “If I remember correctly you guys had sort of a history too?” Alexander looked at John. John nodded stiffly, bit his lip. “Ah. He’s pretty sweet – I like his accent. I don’t know him that well, all I know is that I really hate his friends.”

“Thomas and James?”

“Yeah.”

“Same.” John stared at the floor for a second, then back at Alexander.

“Remember, if you need to leave just stand up and leave. I won’t question it.” Alexander and John stopped outside of the cafeteria and turned to face each other. Alexander grabbed John’s hands. John’s heart flipped.

“I will.” John smiled and bit his lip anxiously. 

Alexander nodded and squeezed John’s hands before releasing them. As soon as John’s hands were free they began to draw shapes in the side of his leg as they walked. John could see Hercules from here...and Lafayette.

The two sat down and John made sure to sit as close to Alexander as physically possible. Alexander looked around, eyebrows furrowed and confused. “Where are Martha, Dolly,  and Aaron ?”

“They have a meeting for art club.” Hercules responded. “And Aaron is doing Aaron things.”

John still adores his voice.

“Oh!” Alexander turned to John. “Are you in art club?”

John shook his head and looked down at the table. No way in hell would he ever join a club in this school. He’s way too anxious to even look someone in the eye let alone draw more attention to himself by joining a club.

Sure, clubs would look better on a University application but he doesn’t...care. 

“No.” John was going to leave it at that before realizing it sounded a bit too bitter. “I mean – like, clubs aren’t my thing. I don’t know.”

“Understood. I’m not in any either.” Alexander smiled. John could tell he was trying to get him to ease up a little bit but it’s so hard when 2/5 of the people who helped build his life up and then crashed it down is staring at him.

John laid his hands on the table so he could begin to trace shapes there, looking at his hands as Hercules, Alexander and Lafayette talked about something John isn’t focusing on. He’s staring hard at the surface of the table.

“John.” John’s heart skipped a beat when hearing Lafayette speaking to him. He looked up quickly and gulped. “We have science today, right?”

John nodded quickly.

“Okay.” Lafayette stared down at John’s fidgety hands. He’s the only person besides Angelica who knew of the dumb fidget he had and how it happens and why it happens. He didn’t say anything as he looked away. “We are putting together the volcano right?”

John nodded a little bit, looking up at Hercules slightly as he snorted. “Volcano?”

Lafayette shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. “The teacher said that it will be a good bonding exercise for our partners. I have never done it before but apparently it is very easy.”

“ _Very_.” Hercules laughed, shaking his head. “We did it in seventh grade.”

“Who’re you partners with?” Alexander asked John, looking down at the fucking bundle of anxiety. 

“Uh,” John gulped. “Laf—,” He paused, about to stop at ‘Laf’. Deciding that he doesn’t want John to really use a nickname for him (he hates him, after all) John continued on with the name. “ayette. Lafayette.”

“Really?” Alexander’s eyebrows furrowed, confused. “I thought you guys—,”

“We did.” Lafayette said quickly, cutting off Alexander. “But...we had decided to put our differences aside. What had happened in the past was very dumb and immature. Oui?” Lafayette looked at John.  


“Yeah.” John tapped his feet underneath the table. “Grudges are dumb.”

Alexander looked instantly happier at this. John’s heart clenched a little bit. Of course Alexander would want his friends to not hate each other. But they do! Well, Hercules and Lafayette like each other but they were never friends with each other during the same time as John.

They never had a falling out.

Hercules and Lafayette seem to despise John. This is going to take a lot out of him.

“They are!” Alexander exclaimed, wrapping an arm around John’s shoulder. John blushed when Alexander pulled him closer, ruffling up his hair. He didn’t even mind that Alexander was messing around with it – it’s fucking Alexander. “They’re super dumb. So...you guys’re, like, friends now?”

“Well.” Hercules paused. He got elbowed in the side by Lafayette. “Yeah!”

“ _Awesome_.” Alexander breathed. He then paused, “Wait...you guys don’t have to do this for, like, me. I can deal with juggling John and then both of you. It’s...not the hardest thing in the world.”

Great. Even Alexander knows that Lafayette and Hercules hate him. 

“This is partly for you, mon amie.” Lafayette confessed. “All of us want you to be happy. However, we have decided as a group that there is no need to be distant and angry with each other anymore. It was no good for any of us at all.”

Alexander smiled, “Thank you guys so much. But if it gets to much...just let it go?”

“Of course!” Hercules said, grabbing Alexander’s free hand and squeezing it. He stood up slowly, kissing Alexander’s knuckles. “Now, I have to go get my books. I have chemistry and I can’t be late again.”

John stared at Alexander’s hands – is it normal for friends to kiss each others hands?

Wait...

“I have to go, too.” Lafayette stood up as well. He smiled at Alexander, smile faltering as he looked at John. “Bye!” He exclaimed, running after Hercules and standing next to him.

John looked over at Alexander, “Are you and Hercules...”

Alexander looked confused, “What?” He asked, looking as Hercules walked away and then looked back at John. “What do you—oh! Oh.” He blushed, shrugging. “I don’t know what we are? I mean, I kinda like him?”

“You do?” John asked, biting the inside of his lip. He shouldn’t feel upset right now. Alexander is a friend – a good friend at most. Maybe it’s just because of John and Hercules’ past? Or maybe it’s because John...no. “Really?”

“Yeah!” Alexander laughed, sounding breathless. “He told me he liked me around a week or two ago...and we’ve been flirting and stuff. I don’t know. What’s your opinion?”

_No. Say no. Don’t like him._

“Uh, go for it.” John faked a tiny smile. “Life is short, right?”

“Right.” Alexander’s smile grew a little bit. God, if that didn’t hurt John more than ever. “But...what if things go wrong?”

John’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Well...” Alexander paused. He hesitated. “You can’t judge me for this.”

“For what?”  
“I don’t...just like Hercules?” He squeaked, covering his face with his hands. John’s eyes widened a little bit but he wasn’t exactly surprised. They’re teenagers – a lot of people have multiple crushes at a time. “And I don’t...want to just date one person if I did date Hercules.”

“What?” John was confused now. “You’d cheat?”

“No! God, fuck no. I would never cheat on anyone _**ever**_.” He sighed. “I just...like the idea of being in a relationship with more than one person I guess? I’m so fucked up.”

“Like a threesome?”

“Well – no.” Alexander paused. “ _Technically yes._ I don’t want it to be all sexual, though! I want, like, a regular relationship but...with more than one person.”

“I don’t understand.” John said bluntly. He then laughed awkwardly. “Sorry – I should be trying to be supportive.”

“No! I don’t understand either. Don’t feel bad.”

“Well, who else do you like, then?” John laid his head on his hand, raising an eyebrow. He knows that the answer will probably hurt him like the Hercules answer did – but it can’t possibly get worse than Hercules, right?

"We don't really know each other that well. I feel really awkward saying that I like him because...well, we had just met around a few weeks ago but...I still really do like him a lot."

"Well, crushes are weird. Stop stalling. Tell me."

Alexander laughed a little bit, playing with his thumbs as he looks over at John, biting down on his lip.

“Lafayette...”

_Of fucking course._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY THIS CHAPTER IS REALLY SHORT I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT WHEN I HAD THESE CHAPTERS PREWRITTEN. SORRY.  
> Anyways, poor bb John.  
> He has it so hard :^(  
> Comments make me vvv happy btw *jazz hands*


	5. CHAPTER FIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander invites John to a party.  
> John is an emotional drunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings for chapter: Panic attack!!

The week was dreadful.

Hercules and Lafayette haven’t warmed up to John at all and John is in immense mental pain every single night over it. Hanging out with people every day who you know hate you isn’t...ever the best feeling in the world.

It gets worse tonight, though.

It’s Friday and there’s a gigantic party happening. Usually, John stays at home and watches Rupaul’s Drag Race repeatedly until he falls sleep. He hates parties, has always hated parties, and will never love parties.

...But Alexander wants him to go.

So, of course, John said fucking yes. He can never say no to Alexander no matter how hard he tries to. His face is just so sweet and he looked so hopeful when he asked him – goddammit, only a monster would say no to him.

The main thing that’s making him hesitant (and think twice about going) is the fact that Lafayette and Hercules will be there, the Schuyler sisters will be there, and the fucking host of the goddamn party is no other than Thomas Jefferson.

John personally has never spoken to the guy. All he knows is that Thomas managed to change Lafayette for the worse when they were friends. So John has a reason to dislike him. Otherwise, he’s super fucking hot, rich, and if John’s hate wasn’t overpowering he would probably maybe _like him_.

Physically, anyways.

From what John knows, though, Thomas is dating his best friend, James. But those accusations could be 100% rumours. John doesn’t care enough to find out.

When he asked his dad if he could go to a party, his dad agreed pretty fucking quickly and said something along the lines of ‘don’t come home unless you’ve been laid’ -- that’s kind of an awkward thing for your father to say to you but Henry has been trying to make John ‘become more of a man’ since John was fucking born.

Apparently getting drunk as hell at parties and getting fucked includes being manly.

Whatever.

John sat on his sofa slowly, releasing a shaky breath as he waited for Alex to come pick him up. Lafayette and Hercules are going to be in the car, too. He looked down at his phone when it released a small ding.

_**Hercules M: btw, when we get to the party we have to act like friends still,,,Alex seems to appreciate our efforts. He seems happier.** _

_**Lafayette: He does! :^). He cares a lot about us.** _

_**Lafayette: Even John, for some reason.** _

_**Hercules M: LMAOOOOOOOO** _

_**John: (:** _

_**John: when r u coming** _

_**Lafayette: We will be there in a few minutes.** _

John closed his phone and glared as his thighs. He tried to look as attractive as physically possible tonight. He wore his skinniest jeans (he hasn’t work them since grade 9. They’re a fucking snug fit) and a pink button-up shirt. He made Martha do his hair.

She only curled it a little bit (she insisted on doing it) and then brushed it out and made it look...not ugly. There’s not much you can do with John’s hair, though. She managed to make it work a little bit whilst telling him about a boy she likes in school.

It was the closest he and Martha got in a while. It was oddly nice.

Tomorrow they’ll go back to plotting each others death, though.

Tonight, the only thing John wants to do is drink and try to forget about everything going on in his life. Having Lafayette and Hercules close to him is hurting him more than anticipated. Yeah, John knew it would be emotionally damaging, but not this bad.

He has to come home and cry into his pillow every single day. It gets even worse when Hercules and Lafayette begin to text him.

They always have to hurt him.

John flinched when he heard a loud beep and stood up quickly, shoving his phones into his pocket as he rushed outside, pushing a stray piece of hair behind his ear as he walked towards a car. John recognizes it as Hercules’ parent’s.

The door opened before John could reach the car and Alexander sat in the back seat, smile wide. “John! Oh-,” He stared at John for a quick second. He bit his lip. “You look good.”

“Thank-you.” John looked down and laughed awkwardly. “So do you.”

_And he fucking does_ .

He’s wearing a dark green t-shirt and black jeans – John didn’t know that there were people in the world who could pull off green so fucking well. His hair is pulled into a neat bun and all-in-all John thinks he looks beautiful.

“Thanks! Come sit.” Alexander patted a spot next to him and John slipped into the seat, looking at Hercules and Lafayette who’re sitting in the front.

Hercules, who is driving, didn’t look back but Lafayette kept his eyes on John for a second too long, darting his eyes down his body before turning away and looking out the window.

It instantly made John self conscious.

He’s never been the most confident person in his life (he doesn’t speak to people unless spoken to, for fuck sakes). He halfway blames it on his dad, halfway blames it on himself. The only people who’ve ever complimented him were, you guessed it:

Lafayette, Hercules, and the Schuyler sisters.

Add Alexander to that list now, he guesses.

John doesn’t really want to associate Alex with that list though. Or these people in general.

But now he kind of has to.

“Party hype! Party hype!” Alexander exclaimed as they began driving. “I’m going to get drunk off my ass and make out with so many people.”

John’s head cocked to the side as he looked over at Hercules. His hands grabbed onto the steering wheel tighter. John thought that Alexander liked Hercules and Lafayette only?

“Me too.” John hesitated, “Well, doubtful. I’ll see how I act when I get drunk.”

“You’re probably gonna have people on your side left and right.” Alexander poked John’s thigh playfully. “Seriously. You look fucking gorgeous.”

“Shut up.” John laughed, cheeks flushing bright red at Alexander’s second compliment. 

“I’m telling the truth! Seriously.” Alexander turned to look at Hercules and Lafayette. “He looks super fucking good doesn’t he?”

Hercules couldn’t turn around so he didn’t respond at all. Lafayette did, though, staring at John once again. “Oui.” He said. Paused for a second. “Very good.”

“See!” Alexander exclaimed – John’s heart leaped.

There’s no way Lafayette meant what he said. It’s clearly for Alexander’s sake but...still. It made John feel so good about himself – Lafayette is lying. God, is Lafayette lying... “Thank you.” John bit his lip. He looked down.

_He’s lying._

“So...Thomas Jefferson is having this party?” John asked, looking over at Alexander, mainly asking Alexander the question. “I thought you didn’t like him?”

“Lafayette is going.” Alexander nodded towards Laf, who turned around once again. “And he asked Hercules and I – and I wanted you to go! Despite my _intense hatred_.” Lafayette snorted. “I still want to go. A party is a party.”

“Didn’t know you were a party person.” John said, rubbing his bare arm. It’s fairly warm outside but it’s still cold enough that if John stayed outside for more than ten minutes he’d probably want to embrace death.

“I’m not really.” Alexander replied. “I’m more of a ‘stay at home and pick Internet feuds with strangers’ type of guy, however,” John grinned and looked down. “I decided to actually do something this weekend. Get up off my ass, y’know?”

John nodded.

“I still do not know why you dislike Thomas so much.” Lafayette spoke up. John looked over at him but kept his eyes down, not wanting to make eye contact. “He is a nice fellow if you get to know him better.”

“To you!” Alexander huffed. “He...he, well, he has a lot of different beliefs “

“Oui.” Lafayette paused. “However,”

“I don’t want to hear it!” Alexander exclaimed and then smiled.

“Well you are hearing it, mon amie.” Lafayette said and raised an eyebrow. Alexander huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and leaned back in the seat. “Thomas is a fighter much like you are. He finds enjoyments in picking fights over anything, much like you.” Alexander rolled his eyes. “However, I do agree, you are both on opposite ends of the spectrum with some things. Otherwise, you are both very much alike.”

“I don’t care.” Alexander responded. “The only thing I like about him is that he looks like you.”

“Looks like me?” Lafayette raised an eyebrow. “That’s the first time I’m hearing that.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Hercules finally spoke and looked over at Lafayette for a second. “You and Thomas could be twins.”

Lafayette shrugged, “I do not see it.”

John shook his head gently and looked down as the three of them got into an argument about if Lafayette looks like Thomas or not. John only sees Thomas around occasionally (he tried to avoid him to avoid Lafayette. That clearly worked out well.) but, yes, Lafayette looks nearly identical to Thomas.

They finally pulled into the party and John was just excited to get out of the car with Lafayette and Hercules and forget his worries for tonight.

A whole set of worries appeared before him when seeing how many people are just outside in the yard.

John’s school is fairly big. It holds a lot of loud people, and a lot of ‘cliques’. There are a bunch of party crazed teens but John literally had no idea there would be this much...but this is Thomas Jefferson’s party, after all. He holds so much influence over the school and town for fuck sakes that it would be shocking if there was less than 300 people here.

John isn’t exactly looking forward to this anymore.

“Party! Party! Party!” Alexander continued to chant and opened the door quickly, jumping out.

Lafayette chuckled, as did Hercules. They both stepped out of the vehicle and John stepped out shortly after. He took a deep breath of air, tapping his fingers against his thigh. “Okay, before we go in, Hercules, no drinking.” Alexander pointed a finger at Hercules.

Hercules raised his hands and then nodded. He’s the designated driver so obviously he isn’t going to drink. At least, John hopes he isn’t.

Hercules has never been irresponsible though.

But people can change, clearly.

“At 4am we all meet up at the car and if someone doesn’t show up we’re going to assume you’ve either been laid or you don’t need a ride home.” Alexander continued, like a worried mom. “And Lafayette, I’m still allowed at your house right? I’ll be killed if I go home drunk.”

“Oui.”

“Good!” Alexander clapped his hands and grinned widely. “Off we go!”

John smiled a little bit, mostly nervous as they entered the house.

* * *

Three hours later and John was completely off his ass drunk.

He didn’t hesitate with the drinks when he got inside. His anxiety was over the roof and he assumed that the only way to calm it was a gigantic amount of shots. He was right, his anxiety did calm down for a little while, that’s until he began to over think and get hyper aware.

And then he lost Alexander.

John was stuck to his side the whole night, even drunk. He just watched as his friend made out with people (it hurt his heart, honestly) but he refused to allow Alexander to leave his eyes. He felt safer with a friend. But John turned around for one second and he was gone.

John released a loud breath, pushing through mounds of drunk teenagers, “Alexander!” He exclaimed as if anyone would possibly be able to hear him over the music that’s beginning to give him a headache. “Alex!”

He couldn’t see him – he couldn’t see anyone he knew.

That’s until he saw who he assumed to be Lafayette across the floor. He pushed through the people, sweaty and just wanting to leave. He grabbed the guy’s arm, “Laf? Did you see Alex?”

The guy turned around, eyebrow raised. “I’m not Lafayette – honest mistake, we get mixed up a lot.”

_Thomas._

“And as for Alexander Hamilton...” Thomas looked around and then smirked, “Well, I saw him go upstairs with a lady a few minutes ago.”

“Oh.” John paused. His mind is foggy and vision dizzy. “Thank you.”

“Of course...” Thomas snorted. John was about to turn away, feeling as if the weight of the world is on his chest right now. He knows that if he doesn’t leave he’s going to fucking lose it. “You know, I wasn’t expecting you to show up.”

John gulped, panicked. “W-what?”

“Mm.” Thomas crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ve seen you around...and you used to be friends with Lafayette. You’re friends again, I see.”

John hesitantly nodded, then shook his head. “Not really. Just needed Alex. Can I go now?”

“Well-,” Thomas was about to continue.

“Leave him alone, Jefferson.” Hercules yelled over the music.

Thomas laughed, nodding. “Yeah.” He turned away, going back to the conversation he halted for John.

“T-thank you-,” John stuttered, hands fidgeting. “N-not to be annoying but...can you, like, bring me outside? Please? I can’t—I can’t breath."

Hercules looked confused for a second but then concerned. He nodded slowly, grabbing John’s arm. All of his previous friends had known about his anxiety and Hercules wasn’t about to allow someone to suffer through it alone no matter how much he dislikes John.

He pushed through the crowd, dragging John behind him who’s tripping over people, over himself, and just needs to get outside.

They finally made it, Hercules pushing open the door. Hardly anyone is outside (there are a few people chatting since it’s easier to talk out here) and there are some people helping their friends into cars to go home.

Otherwise, it’s empty now, unlike earlier.

“C’mere.” Hercules muttered, guiding John slowly towards the edge of the house, next to a giant tree. John’s breathing was still heavy and uneven, tears prickling in his eyes. “Sit down, alright?”

“I—,” John hesitated but nodded, sitting down with his legs criss cross. He laid his hand on his quickly beating heart. Hercules sat down next to him. “I ca-can’t find him. He left me – he—he fucking—,”

“Sh,” Hercules raised his hand awkwardly and rubbed John’s back. John didn’t even care that it was Hercules at the moment. He’s so emotional and so drained. “Breath with me, alright? Deep breaths. One, two...”

John gulped, nodding as he tried to catch his breath. It was hard to do at first, John always taking a desperate breath before he was supposed to. But eventually he relaxed (as much as he count) and without hesitating, laid his head on Hercules shoulder.

Hercules tensed up but didn’t move him.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, John staring ahead. “Thank-you.” He whispered, closing his eyes.

“No problem.” Hercules spoke softly.

John bit the inside of his cheek. “Herc?”

“Yeah?” Hercules asked – he hasn’t heard John say that nickname in years. Everyone calls him it but it still made him feel a lot of different ways to hear it come out of his old friend’s mouth.

“Why did you leave me?”

Hercules’ eyebrows furrowed together in shock – he wasn’t expecting that. Not in the slightest. “You said we would be friends. Always. You left me. Y-you left me to go with Dolly and Martha and I understood! I understood why! But—,” John squeezed his eyes shut. “Now you’re friends with Lafayette...you’re friends with Lafayette and just like him you’re _hurting me and making me feel ugly and dumb and as if I’m not worth love or any friendship in the slightest—_ ,”

“John.” Hercules looked down at the smaller boy, mouth opening and closing for a few seconds before speaking. “I didn’t—I didn’t realize.”

“Of course you _didn’t_.” John dug his fingers into his skin, pinching it. “But it’s fucking happening! You’re f-fucking hurting me. You promised. You promised, Herc.”

Hercules hesitantly grabbed John’s hands and stopped him from pinching himself, rubbing the slightly irritated skin with his thumb. Hercules looked down and shrugged. “It’s just...it helps me deal with having you around every day.”

“Am I that unbearable?” John laughed bitterly.

“No! No...” Hercules shook his head. “It’s not that. You’re just...so much all at once. This is so much all at once. I had no chance to really prep myself before being shoved back into a friendship with you—,”

“But you have Laf!” John raised his voice, “You have Lafayette! You have someone who you can speak to about all of this! Whenever I try you call me dumb – you make fun of me. _Why would Alexander be friends with you_? Like, I don’t fucking know, Herc! But he is! And I care so much for Alex that I’m forcing myself to endure this constant pain of ‘ _not good enough, never good enough_ ’ and it’s your fault as much as it is Lafayette’s!” He hissed, tears flowing down his cheeks mid-rant.

“I’m so sorry.” Hercules looked down. He tried to stop himself from crying, too. “I – fuck, John, I should’ve realized. Of course you’re hurting...of course this is hurting you, too. Goddammit you were friends with Lafayette and I...you’re so right.”

“Yeah.” John muttered bitterly.

They stayed silent for a bit. John was staring at the grass and began to pull it out of the earth, making a small pile next to his thigh. Hercules played with his fingers before sighing, grabbing John’s wrist and laying his hand softly on his cheek, turning his head to look at him. “You are good enough.”

John didn’t make eye contact, trying to flicker his eyes anywhere but Hercules’ face.

“John. Seriously, look at me. Please.” John’s eyes welled up with tears again and with much hesitance, looked at Hercules. “You’ve always been good enough. I don’t know why I deal with my emotions through violence to you. I’m...not a violent person. But it works. I convince myself that I dislike you and I act like I do and...it helps. But I’ve never, ever hated you once in my entire life, John Laurens.”

“Seems like it.”

“I know it does.” Hercules ran his thumb softly over John’s cheek, the two staring into each others eyes. “And if I had time back I would’ve never stopped being friends with you. I would’ve never been mean to you. But I can’t take the time back. I wish you would’ve told me sooner.”

“I wasn’t drunk sooner.” John joked, blinking slowly.

The silence between them was soon tense – but not in a bad way at all. Hercules continued to rub John’s cheek and John leaned into it a little bit, biting the inside of his lip as his eyes hesitantly flickered to Hercules’ lips.

John quickly removed his eyes, not wanting to seem obvious. Hercules noticed, however, and laughed. It wasn’t harsh at all.

He moved his thumb from John’s cheek to John’s lips, running his thumb over them. “Is it okay if I kiss you?” Hercules asked.

John gulped and nodded slowly.

Hercules nodded as well, hesitantly pressing his lips to John’s.

Both of them were unsure if it was just a heat of the moment thing. John is drunk, fragile, and just confessed his heart to Hercules about how much he hurt him. There’s a gigantic chance that John won’t remember this and whilst Hercules feels semi guilty about that...the kiss is shoving the guilt out of the way.

It didn’t last all that long before John pulled away, eyes wide in shock, cheeks flushed red. “I—,” he began. “Can...you give me a ride home?” He asked, not wanting to talk about it.

Hercules chuckled, face hot as he nodded, standing up and grabbing John’s hand to help him up. He personally doesn’t really want to talk about what had just happened either. “Yeah. C’mon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hEY Lol so  
> That happened.  
> Idk what to say,,,  
> just moving plot along a lil [:::  
> Oh, and just a reminder that Hercules and Alexander aren't dating they just like each other!! So yeah.


	6. CHAPTER SIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John makes a few mistakes.

John woke up the next day with two things on his mind:

One, his head is killing him and he’s about to puke.

Two, he kissed Hercules last night.

Honestly, John wasn’t expecting to remember that when he was drunk. He’s heard so many rumours about people who forget the things they’ve done when they were super drunk. John didn’t know you could still remember things!  
  
But he does remember, very well.

He remembers losing Alexander, he remembers talking to Thomas Jefferson, he remembers having a panic attack, he remembers Hercules helping him, he remembers spilling his heart out, and for fuck sakes he remembers kissing his old best friend.

John stood up, nearly toppling over as he walked to the bathroom. He grabbed the painkillers from the medicine cabinet, thinking as he popped two into his mouth.

He can always pretend that he doesn’t remember what had happened last night. If Hercules brings it up he can confess and say that it was a mistake but otherwise...John will pretend that it did not happen. Maybe he convince himself, too.

But was it a mistake?

It felt so fucking right.

John has never had a crush on Hercules before. When they were friends, that’s all they were. They were friends. Hercules had no idea John was gay and John wasn’t even sure if he was gay at that point. John didn’t even know that Hercules liked men!

Well, he knew since his conversation with Alexander – oh God.

Alexander.

Alex had said that he really likes Hercules. Does kissing him make John the absolute worse person in the world? It can’t, right? Alexander was kidding so many people last night! Hell, John is almost 100% convinced that Alex had sex last night.

John shouldn’t feel overly bad or stressed out about this. Besides, it’s not like Alexander will ever know unless Hercules brings it up. Will he? Will he say that John kissed him first and that was it? Because if John remembers correctly, Hercules asked to kiss _him_.

_God this is all so much_ .

John looked at himself in the mirror. There are bags underneath his eyes and he looks absolutely wrecked and extremely pale. “Fuck.” He cursed, grabbing his toothbrush as he ran a hand through his hair, rubbing his eyes.

“Oh! You’re awake!” Martha exclaimed as she walked past the bathroom, backing up a little bit to see her brother, toothbrush dangling from his mouth and hair sticking up in all types of directions. She snorted. “You look rough.”

“Har, har.” John muttered over the toothbrush, leaning down to spit into the sink, “What do you want?”

“Wanted to ask how everything went last night.” She responded, walking into the bathroom and sitting down on the toilet seat, looking up at her big brother.

John raised an eyebrow.

Martha and John usually try to stay out of each others lives as much as possible. They’re total opposites and have never really had much to talk about together. She deals with her own things and John deals with his own things.

You’d think that with their current parent situation that they’d be closer but it just didn’t turn out that way. The both of them rarely speak to each other and even more rarely their younger siblings. It’s their house setting.

So the fact that Martha is curious about what happened last night is a shocker.

“Why do you want to know?” John asked, continuing to brush his teeth. He looked over at Martha as she spoke.

“Because...well, I was awake last night...” She responded, “Until around 4am and I saw you being brought inside by Hercules Mulligan.”

“Hercules..” John said and then nodded. “How do you know who Hercules is?”

“Well, you used to be friends with him. I guess you still are?” Martha shook her head. “Anyways, you looked like you were crying when he brought you in. I just...I know we aren’t the closest but I do still care about you.”

“Uh...” John hesitated, smiling a little bit at Martha. “One, I care about you, too. I know that teenage angst – especially at your age – can get a little bit intense. So I’m always here for you through that. Second, friend trouble.”

“What type of friend trouble?” Martha pulled her leg up to her chest. It’s something her and John have in common habit-wise. “Just ex-pals friend trouble? Did you get in a fight with your friends? Oh!” Martha exclaimed. John winced again. “Did you hook up with someone’s girlfriend?”

“No I did not.” John laughed, “I hooked up with no one.” He rinsed off his toothbrush and put it away, turning to lean against the sink. “And, yeah, I apparently get super emotional when I’m drunk? I basically confessed my whole life to Hercules who was thankfully sober and able to bring me home.”

“Ah...” Martha hesitated. “You aren’t telling me the full truth.”

“What?”

“Listen,” Martha shifted her position and crossed one leg over the other. “We don’t talk a lot but I do know when you’re lying to me or aren’t telling me the truth.”

_It’s not like he can tell Martha. Literally the only people he’s openly gay to are the Schuyler sisters (who thankfully haven’t told anyone) and also now Hercules he guesses._

“You’re imagining it.” John said.

“Uh-huh.” Martha didn’t seem convinced but she didn’t push it. “Anyways, how’s the hangover?”

“Dreadful.” John confessed. “Do you have any plans today?”

“I’m going out with Lela.” Martha responded, biting down on her lip. “We’re going to a movie, I think? I don’t know. We’re hanging out, though. You?”

John shrugged, “I dunno. I highly doubt I’m doing anything.”

Martha snorted, standing up. “Guess a party doesn’t change the lone wolf.”

“Guess so.” John grinned a bit, watching as his sister left the bathroom and made her way downstairs.

* * *

“No! It’s not tha—oh! Hi.” John’s eyebrows furrowed a little bit as he looked at Hercules. He’s been mentally prepping himself the whole weekend about going back to school. He’s decided on pretending that he doesn’t remember _anything_.

And he’s also going to be working on forcing away a slight crush that has managed to develop since the kiss.

“Hi...” John hesitated, blushing just a bit upon seeing Hercules. He’s standing and talking to Dolly, Martha, and if John remembers correctly, Aaron Burr. “Uh, you’re standing in front of my locker. Move?”

John is trying to force himself to sound a bit bitter towards Hercules. He has to! Otherwise, Hercules might suspect that John remembers anything that happened at that party.

“Oh!” Hercules exclaimed, stepping out of the way. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” John whispered – Hercules is acting a lot different. Whether it was the rant at the party or Lafayette not being here that changed him John was unsure. He’ll just have to see.

“Do you think he—,” John heard a hushed voice. He looked over from the corner of his eye to see Dolly, Martha, Hercules and Aaron talking in hushed voices as Aaron is grabbing his things next to John. John didn’t know he and Aaron had a locker next to each other.

“You think he’d mention—,” Martha muttered. John isn’t sure if they’re trying to be loud or quiet.

“Shut up.” Hercules hissed.

John paused.

Are they talking about him?

_Did Hercules tell them?_

It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility. John knows that Hercules is close with Dolly, Martha and Aaron, but does that mean that Hercules told Lafayette and Alexander, too? Or maybe even more people than that?

It’s not that John is insecure about his sexuality but he doesn’t want it spreading around school. The last thing he needs is his father figuring out that John likes boys. Henry has always been very determined on John liking women.

Of course John doesn’t and nothing will ever change that but...he’d rather not tell Henry whilst living under the same roof, is all.

“John Laurens!” Alexander exclaimed, wrapping an arm around John’s shoulder, causing John to flinch in surprise. “I didn’t hear from you all fucking weekend! Still suffering from a hangover? Hercules told me you got _fucked_.”

_Oh no._

“I’m fine now.” John said awkwardly. “Uh, did Hercules say what happened? I don’t...” John released a breath. He knows Hercules is listening. “I don’t remember anything that happened so I’m seriously curious if I’ve ruined my life.”

Alexander shrugged, shaking his head. “No. Sorry. Hey, Herc! What did little Johnny Boy get up to whilst absolutely fucked? Did he get fucked?” Alexander giggled, poking John in the side as he looked at Hercules.

Herc looked both upset and relieved at the same time (how that is possible John doesn’t understand). “Nothing, really. He was talking to Thomas when I found him and then asked me to bring him home. That’s...it.”

_Thank fucking God._

Martha released a loud laugh at that which received a death glare from Hercules, Dolly and Aaron.

“Boring.” Alexander rolled his eyes. “Lafayette made out with James Madison by accident so...I want to hear about his stories more.”

“How do you know that?” Hercules asked.

“It’s going around school! Thomas is probably going to kill Laf.” Alexander replied. “Apparently James kissed him because he thought he was Thomas, though? I don’t know.”

“Shit.” John snorted, looking down at his shoes.

“Shit indeed.” Alexander nodded. “And as for myself, I remember having sex. Not sure whom with.”

John bit his lip and watched as Hercules stiffened slightly.

Maybe Hercules kissed John to deal with his pain from Alexander?

That would make sense right?

“My goal was to at least make out with someone.” John said, trying to push up the ‘I have no idea’ card. “From what I can remember, though, nada.”

Hercules stiffened more. Dolly opened her mouth and then closed it quickly when Aaron jabbed his shoulder into her arm. Martha snorted to herself, cleared her throat, and then looked away as if she didn’t laugh.

They’re being...super fucking obvious.

Alexander doesn’t seem to notice, though. “Aww. You’ll have your first kiss one day.” Alexander jokingly cooed. John rolled his eyes.

“I had my first kiss before.”

“Sure.” Alex ruffled John’s hair. “I’ll see you in English.”

John nodded, watching Alexander walk away. He turned back to his locker to finish grabbing his books. He heard more hushed conversation beside him and John decided to not listen to it. He shut his locker, turning on his heel and walking away from Hercules, Aaron, Dolly and Martha.

He made his way to Science. He doesn’t really want to see anyone right now (let alone Lafayette) but it has to be done. They’re Science partners now...and, honestly, Lafayette is a lot better than talking to Hercules.

John isn’t sure if he’s ever going to be able to speak to him the same again.

_Because goddamn, Hercules is a good fucking kisser._

And goddamn it’s going to be so difficult for John to pretend like nothing has happened. It was hard enough to not yell out ‘I know we kissed’ to Hercules then and there. He wishes he had the guts to. But he just doesn’t.

John walked into the Science room, head down as he sat down in his seat. Lafayette was already there, head down and eyebrows furrowed. John wonders if Lafayette is getting a lot of shit from anyone for kissing James. Sure, he’d probably get a bit of shit from Thomas but would anyone else really...care that much?

Besides James, of course.

And Alexander.

They finished their volcanoes last class so their teacher began to teach them actually Science. No experiments today, just a boring lesson and notes. John bit his lip, reaching into his book bag to grab his sketchbook. He’ll only sketch if he gets absolutely bored and the teacher drags on.

...He’s probably going to sketch.

Lafayette looked over at him from the corner of his eye. He leaned back in his chair, spreading his legs a little bit and crossing his arms over his chest, “You still draw?” He asked. His voice was so quiet John almost didn’t hear him.

Furrowing his eyebrows and narrowing his eyes a bit, John spoke, trying to stay as quiet as possible with a shaky voice. “Why do you care?”

“I do not.” Lafayette hissed. Half of John feels bad for a quick second. Lafayette spoke to him with genuine curiosity just then and John shut it down. The other half of John is saying ‘ _it’s what he deserves_.’ “It is just more fun to question you about your questionable life choices than listen to our teacher.”

John shook his head, closing his eyes for a second and then reopening them. There’s only so much of Lafayette John is able to take. Maybe Hercules would’ve been the better option of the two. At least he acts decent when he isn’t around Lafayette.

Well...

“If we’re questioning each other, then, is it safe for me to ask why you kissed another boy’s boyfriend?” John muttered, voice irritated. He didn’t exactly mean to ask Lafayette that question. It just slipped out. But it’s the least John could say to him after a week of torture.

Lafayette stiffened and John saw him bite his tongue in irritation. He used to do that a lot when he was angry. Old habits die hard.

“Fuck off, Laurens.” He growled, voice threatening and low. 

“What? You’re allowed to prod me about my life but I’m not—,”

“I said fuck off.” Lafayette repeated, clenching his jaw.

“Seriously? You can hurt me and make fun of me but once someone shoots back at you, you get like this? Learn how to man up, Lafayette. My god.” John rolled his eyes, “If you didn’t want people to question you about it maybe you shouldn’t have done it in the first p—,”

“I SAID _ **FUCK OFF**_!” Lafayette exclaimed, standing up from his chair, causing it to topple over on the ground. John squeaked, flinching back in surprise at the outburst. Everyone in the class turned to look at Lafayette.

“GILBERT LAFAYETTE! Office. Now.” 

A few people snickered at Lafayette’s first name but John was in too much of a shock to really do much. Lafayette rolled his eyes, grabbing is book bag forcefully and making his way towards the door.

John stared down at his desk, grabbing Lafayette’s chair, making it stand upright. 

_That was...100% John’s fault._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *jazz hands*   
> ANGST!  
> Also, John is being !dumb!  
> fukin teenagers.


	7. CHAPTER SEVEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John feels guilty.  
> Also, self-discovery.

“Lafayette got detention.” Alexander sat down across from John, both of them sitting in the cafeteria. No one else is at the table yet (if anyone else does come to the table), “Lunch time detention for three days and after school detention for four days.”

“Oh,” John paused. He bit his lip and poked his fork at the cafeteria food. He usually doesn’t eat during school hours but he decided that maybe the guilt he’s feeling for both upsetting Lafayette and lying to Hercules was just hunger. It isn’t. “Do you know why?”

“No.” Alexander shrugged, “Wouldn’t tell me.”

“Oh. Well, I do.” John sighed, pushing the food away, “Do you want this?”

Alexander looked down at the peas and slightly underdone potatoes. He shook his head, grabbing the brownie off of the side of the tray. “I want this, though. And what happened? How do you know?”

“He blew up in Science.” John replied, watching as Alexander unwrapped the brownie. John sighed. “It was my fault, not gonna lie. I pushed him even when he told me to stop so...yeah, he yelled in class at me and got in trouble.”

“You pushed someone?” Alexander’s eyebrows furrowed. “Really? You’re the...like, softest person ever, John. I don’t see how you could’ve pissed Lafayette off enough to get 7 detentions.”

“I...he was talking about my art and...I...well, I was being a dick about it. Then I pushed him about what happened at the party.” John shrugged, “I shouldn’t have done it and I feel like absolute shit so if we can drop this subject...”

John knows that Lafayette had put him through a lot. He was the one who broke John’s heart, soul, and life purpose more than Hercules or the Schuyler sisters. But John did not have to keep pushing when Lafayette told him to stop. It’s none of John’s business and clearly it’s a sensitive subject.

“Of course.” Alexander pouted, “But remember that Lafayette sometimes yells in class. This might not be your fault.”

John shrugged, watching as Hercules sat down next to Alexander. Aaron sat down on the other side of Alex, and Dolly and Martha sat down next to John. Hercules didn’t look at John as he spoke to Alexander, “So, I’ve been thinking,”

“That’s never a good thing.” Alexander joked and smiled wide. John kept his eyes off of Hercules and stayed focused on Alexander. John feels like he could explode right now – his face feels like it’s actually on fire.

“Shut up.” Hercules laughed. John gulped. “Anyways, it’s been a while since we’ve all done anything as a group of friends that didn’t require drinking. Peggy brought up that it’d be kind of cool to go to the new rollerskating rink this Saturday.”

“Rollerskating?” Alexander raised his eyebrow. John’s eyebrows furrowed – Peggy? As in Schuyler? “What’re we, in the 50s?”

“I thought it’d be fun.” Hercules shrugged. “Me, you, Martha, Dolly, the Schuyler sisters, Lafayette if he’s up for it,” Hercules looked over at John. John’s heart flipped. “John, too, if he wants.”

John gulped – would he go? Should he go? Lafayette probably wants him dead now, John is trying to force back a crush on his old friend, and...the Schuyler sisters are going to be there. _The fucking Schuyler sisters._

“I’d love to, but,” Alexander shrugged, “There’s no way I could afford it.”

Before John’s brain synced up with his mouth, he spoke quickly and rushed. “I could pay for you.” He squeaked – guess there’s no turning back now.

“What?” Alexander’s eyebrows furrowed. “John, you don’t have to do that.”

“Uh, I want to.” John grinned. “I...want you to go, too. So you’re going. That’s it.”

Alexander smiled brightly, shaking his head. “You’re a handful, John Laurens.”

“Let me be a good friend.” John smiled back. He’s anxious now, that’s a given. He just agreed to go out Saturday with Alexander, a few people he doesn’t know well, and people he used to know well. This...is going to be a mess.

“So you’re going?” Hercules asked John. John finally had to give in and turn his head to look at Hercules. He’s...very gorgeous. How did John never see this before? Like, sure, he saw how hot he was but...

“I am.” John bit the inside of his lip.

“Awesome,” Hercules said. “Does anyone know where Laf is?"

“Detention.” Alexander responded without hesitation. He snorted, “John got him in trouble.”

Hercules’ eyebrows furrowed as he looked over at John. John panicked, speaking quickly. “I didn’t mean to! I just asked him something and _kept asking_ even when he said no I – I didn’t expect him to blow up like that! Seriously. I didn’t mean it and I already feel like shit so if we can jus—,”

“John.” Hercules spoke softly. John shut his mouth and took a deep breath through his nose. “It’s probably not your fault. You’re right. Laf probably didn’t take his meds today and on top of that people have been probing him about the party.”

John decided to ignore Hercules talking about the medication Lafayette has and took a shaky breath. “I also probed him.”

“That explains it. Not your fault,” Hercules began. “Well, somewhat your fault.”

John laughed awkwardly, voice shaky as he stared down at the table. “Yeah.”

Alexander looked between Hercules and John with a suspicious expression. “That was the longest you guys have ever spoke since we started being friends.” He brought up, pointing at Hercules and then John, “And none of you glared at each other.”

Dolly was the first to speak, covering up what Hercules probably couldn’t. John stayed silent. “They’re gettin’ closer! It’s a good thing, right? To be more comfortable around each other?”

“Yeah,” Alexander nodded slowly. “But today—,”

“Shut up, Alex. Don’t question your friend’s happiness.” Aaron said.

Martha laughed a little, patting John’s back. John put on a fake confused expression. John is mainly being this nice because (1) John fucking kissed him and (2) John now has this...tiny annoying crush.

But it’s only tiny.

...Not a big deal.

“I’m not! Happy for you guys.” Alexander grinned. He stood up from the cafeteria table as the bell rang. “Okay, I’ll text you guys after school. Bye!” He exclaimed, walking off.

John stood up as well, keeping his head down as he walked past Hercules.

* * *

Instead of going home, John skipped the bus altogether and walked down near the beach. His hands are stuck in his pockets, looking around. There are only a few people around considering school had just let off and, plus, it’s starting to get cold.

He’s only here so he can think. He doesn’t plan on going swimming or doing anything you usually do at the beach. He just wants to sit here until sunset and over evaluate his whole life.

First, though, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, typing in his passcode quickly. John made his way to a few rocks, sitting down in between them as he listened to the waves. He sighed, sending a quick message to Lafayette.

_**John: Hey, I know that you hate me and stuff but I just wanted to apologize for what I said today. I shouldn’t have pushed you. In my defence, I didn’t know you would blow up on me, but I’m not going to victim blame and shit :^)). Ssssosoos yea sorry.** _

He pressed send, shaking his head. He honestly knows that if he didn’t apologize, it would’ve haunted him for way too long. It’s better to get it over with.

_Get it over with._

John snorted at his own advice to himself, shaking his head as he pushed a few stray pieces of hair away from his eyes. He continued to watch the waves before pulling his sketchbook out, propping it on his knees and began to draw.

He’s not sure what he’s trying – not the waves, that’s for sure (John doesn’t really do realism or landscape). Instead a random boy, sitting on his knees and surrounded by...something. John isn’t sure. He draws whatever he feels.

This is...what he feels.

Even he can’t decode it.

John’s phone dinged three times in a row next to his thigh, causing him to sigh softly and put down his pencil, grabbing his phone and reading who the messages are from.

One from Lafayette, two from Alexander.

John decided to open Alex’s first.

_**Alexander H: Listen!!** _

_**Alexander H: you don’t have to pay for me on Saturday. Srsly.** _

_**John: I want to.** _

_**Alexander H: John, you don’t have to take pity on me. Go! Have fun!! I hate taking people’s money.** _

_**John: Not pity** _

_**John: Friendship** _

_**John: aCcEpT mY fRiEnDsHiP** _

_**Alexander H: AHH  
Alexander H: Fine.** _

_**Alexander H: Thank you.** _

_**John: :^)** _

John smiled a little bit before opening Lafayette’s message.

_**Lafayette: The deed is done right?? LOL. Anyways, it is okay. I have had a lot of detentions before and this is not the first one that was given to me thanks to another student. But I still want to kick your ass. I will not. But I want to.** _

_**John: Fair enough.** _

Okay, so, good to know that Lafayette isn’t going to beat his ass tomorrow. But there’s still school tomorrow...and for the rest of the goddamn week. How is he going to get by? John and Hercules will be seeing a lot more of each other now that they’re ‘friends’.

John likes Hercules a little bit – he isn’t going to lie. Hercules was nice to him, he apologized, and kissed John. And it was fucking good.

Hercules has no idea that John knows, though. He doesn’t know John remembers the apology, the kindness, _the kiss_.

Half of John wishes he forgot.

The other half?

Well...the other half is falling in love.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i forgot to mention this yesterday but I have a new story up and it's a teacher AU (polysquad) and it's,,,like...cool?? I gueSS  
> iDk READ it pls i would lov u 4eva.  
> Comments r appreciated n makes me feel loved (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧


	8. CHAPTER EIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Officially meet the Schuyler sisters!  
> Also, Alexander finds something out.

The week seemed to drag on horrendously.

Tuesday went by with John trying to avoid Lafayette _and_ Hercules the best he could. He would only allow himself to speak/see Hercules during lunch. Lafayette was a lot easier to avoid since he had lunchtime detention and aside from Science, John never sees him around very frequently.

John was forced to have an awkward conversation with Hercules on Wednesday when Alexander was running late after one of his classes – John forgets which one. All John knows is that Alexander needed to correct his teacher on something. So, Hercules and John just sort of...awkwardly smiled at each other (also said ‘hi, how was your day?’) but that was it.

On Thursday, John had Science and was forced to finally speak to Lafayette in person. John managed to not piss Lafayette off and Lafayette seemed more at ease that day. The worse part about Thursday, though, was that John had to talk to Lafayette after class about a project they have to do (not together, but John wasn’t too sure what he had to do and honestly he’d rather ask Lafayette after class than ask a teacher during class) but John managed to get caught between Elizabeth Schuyler and Lafayette’s conversation. It was the worst 1 minute of his life.

Friday went by decently quick. Alexander kept asking if it was okay for John to pay on Saturday (John kept saying yes), Hercules made sure that everyone was able to have a ride, and John fell more and more in love with each word Hercules said.

John also found himself starting to feel the _Hercules Feelings_ towards Alexander. John managed to push that back by saying he only feels that way because Alexander is nice to him.

Then came Saturday.

“Is it weird that I’m actually really excited for this?” Alexander asked as soon as he entered John’s car. John decided to drive himself and Alexander there (since there’s no drinking. Plus, John is never going to drink for the rest of his life). “Like, I feel bad for using your money – always will – and I will pay you back when I’m rich and famous but—,”

“Alex,” John laughed, “It’s no biggie. Besides, I’m sure when you’re rich and famous the last thing you’re going to be worried about is the money that a random kid gave you in 12th grade.”

Alexander tapped his forehead gently, “I remember everything.”

John snorted at Alexander’s words. Sure, the boy has a good memory (he manages to get above 90 on every single test he takes, so either he has a good memory or he just...really likes learning.) “I know, Alexander.”

Alexander clapped his hands a little bit, closing the car door and wrapping his seat belt around himself, “Anyways, are you excited?”

John paused at the question. He’s excited to spend time with Alexander but...that’s it. He’s not excited to see (and possibly speak to) the Schuyler sisters, he isn’t excited to see Hercules smile and laugh so he can fall more in _like_ with him and he isn’t excited for Lafayette’s jabs (yeah, Lafayette agreed to go. Goodie.)

“Yeah.” John lied, forcing a little smile as he began to drive. “I guess so.”

“Well,” Alexander shrugged, “If this makes you feel better: I haven’t even skated on ice before so...you’re going to be seeing my first attempt at doing any sort of walking that doesn’t require shoes.”

“That explanation of skating was...so confusing.”

Alexander giggled, looking down at his lap. “Yeah,” Alexander paused, shaking his head, “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Mhm?”

“Do...you like Hercules?”

John’s eyes widened and he paused – what? Why would Alexander even think that? Well...John does like Hercules, yes. But he was so sure that he was doing a good job of hiding it! “...Why do you ask?”

“It’s just,” Alexander shrugged, “You look at him a certain way and whenever he does as much as smile in your direction you start to—to, like, blush. It’s cute, kinda, but...” Alexander hesitated, “Well, there’s no buts. I wanna know! I’m curious. You’re one of my closest friends which...is kinda odd since we’ve only met a few weeks ago.”

John sighed, “I...” He gulped. “I don’t know. It’s complicated.”

“So you do?”

“Maybe?” John huffed, stopping at a red light. He turned his eyes to look at Alexander, “But I won’t try anything – you like Hercules and I know that. Besides, Hercules and I have a messy past...kind of. Ish? Whatever. It would never work.”

“You can try stuff. Herc and I aren’t going anywhere, really.” Alexander pouted, “But I do have to warn you: the guy is fucking guarded.”

“No need to warn me,” John sighed. It was good to get at least a bit of this off of his chest. John isn’t too sure how well Alexander keeps secrets, though, so John refuses to tell him that he and Hercules kissed. John is still trying to convince himself that it didn’t happen.

Which, evidently, isn’t good.

“Why?”

“Cause it isn’t gonna happen,” John licked his bottom lip as the light turned green. “I haven’t told you much about anything, Alex, but after what happened in the past...”

“Was it really that bad?”

John held his breath and then released it slowly. “Compared to Lafayette? No. But...still. He’s an old friend who feels nothing for me.”

_If he feels nothing for me why would he kiss me?_

_Right. To forget Alexander._

“How do you know?”

“I just do.” John bit the inside of his lip, “Besides, you called dibs.”

“But I told you that it isn’t going anywhere.”

“If you can’t get anywhere with Hercules, no one can.”

Alexander laughed a little bit. He shook his head, a stray piece of hair falling into his face. He pushed it back. “Guess so.”

* * *

They got to the roller skating rink and John paid for Alexander and himself, walking in fully. Hercules texted Alexander a few minutes ago to tell him that everyone was here. Honestly, the thought of walking in by himself with everyone else already there terrifies him.

John isn’t by himself, though.

Alexander is standing next to John’s side excitedly, pulling him along by his sleeve, “C’mon!”

“I’m coming.” John whispered. He released a deep breath, allowing Alexander to pull him. The first thing John’s eyes laid on when he walked into the room was Hercules. Then Lafayette. Then Eliza. Then Peggy. And then Angelica.

Angelica.

“HI!” Alexander exclaimed. There are a few more groups of people who turned to see the loudmouth that entered the room, “I’ve arrived. Your day? Improved.”

Fucking Angelica.

Her eyes turned from humoured to angry upon seeing John. She leaned into Peggy, whispering something in her ear and glaring even more and John. John could practically hear her scoff (she does that a lot.)

John slowly walked over next to Alexander, who was already taking to Eliza loudly, joining in on the conversation as if he didn’t just walk in. John stood with his arms by his side, trying to avoid Angelica’s gaze with all his power.

“John Laurens,” John could hear the fakeness in her voice – Angelica has never been the type of person to be able to hide their irritation. It’s always evident. Always. “Long time no speak, yeah?”

“Mhm.” John stared down at the ground. The air was tense and John knows why. He’s had time to get used to Hercules and Lafayette. Sure, Lafayette is still an asshole and (mostly always) makes fun of him but Hercules has gotten a lot better since the party (thanks, drunk John.)

But the Schuyler sisters? Well, fuck, he only sees them on the bus. He sometimes sees Eliza talking to Lafayette but that’s literally it.

Hercules was able to quickly sense the tension and clapped his hands, “Skating time!”

“Skating time,” Angelica’s tone was not a kind one. She sent John one more harsh glare before turning away to put on her skates.

John deserves this – he’s done a lot to the sisters which weren’t good things.

He’s not the only person who has been put through a lot of shit. He pushed away three people who considered John a brother, really, just because he was scared about if their friendship would end or not. It mightn’t have ended if John wasn’t such a pussy over the situation.

“John!” Peggy exclaimed, she didn’t hesitated to wrap her arms around John’s neck and hug him tightly once her sister walked away. They’re still in eye-view and ear-shot of Angelica but...oh well?

John hesitantly hugged Peggy back. What’s he supposed to do!? Why is Peggy hugging him!?

He’s so confused!

“I missed you.” Peggy whispered. “You left us!”

“I...” John sighed, “I know.” He pulled back.

Peggy has always been the more innocent and out-going of the sisters. She’s very childlike. Eliza would be considered the ‘mothering’ parent. She’s kind but she knows when she has to act cold and stern.

Peggy? Well, god, Peggy loves everyone.

People could hurt her and stomp over her millions of times but she wouldn’t care.

_John hurt her and stomped over her._

“Rude.” Peggy smiled more, poking John’s nose (she used to do that a lot – it brings back memories. Both bad and good). Peggy then turned away, skipping towards her sisters and sitting down in between them.

Eliza and Angelica shared a look and Angelica leaned into Peggy, whispering something in her ear. Peggy rolled her eyes.

“I didn’t realize that you and Peggy were so close.” Alexander said, sitting down on a bench as John walked over to him. John sat next to Alexander and shrugged. “I thought...well, you had a past, right? She isn’t angry?”

“Peggy is...” John laughed a little and began to put on the roller skates. “Peggy is very forgiving. Always have been...I...” John sighed. “Now isn’t a time to dwell on it but it’s both nice to know she hasn’t changed but also very unsettling.”

Alexander nodded slowly, “I only really speak to Eliza. Angelica scares me,” Alexander pauses, “More so now.”

“Yeah,” John shrugged. “She’s protective. Don’t blame her.”

“I’d be protective if I had two younger siblings, too.” Alexander said, “Especially if I had to protect them from John the Big Bad Wolf.”

“Shut up.” John snorted, shoving Alexander playfully. John raised his eyes for a second to see Hercules staring at them – John can already tell that this is going to be a very, very tense night.

John soon did up his skates, looking down at Alexander who also finished doing his. “Okay,” John stood up effortlessly. He used to roller skate a lot in his driveway when he was younger and occasionally does when he’s bored in the summer so he knows what he’s doing.

Poor Alexander on the other hand?

Not at all.

He stood up, squealing in surprise as he lost his balance, nearly falling back. John snorted, grabbing onto Alexander’s arm and steadying him softly, “Need help?” He grinned. Alexander rolled his eyes at John’s amusement.

“I do not. I am perfectly capable of figuring this out myself.” Alexander refused. John shrugged, nodding as he released Alexander’s arm.

“Okay, then.” John raised his arms, backing up a little bit as he slowly made his way towards the rink.

Behind him, John heard another squeal and then a soft crash, “Ow.”

John rolled his eyes, looking back. “Are you going to accept my help now?”

“The only way I’m accepting your help is if I need help into my coffin when I’m dead! Even then I’ll try to do it myself, so,” Alexander slowly pushed himself up again. He waved his hand, “Leave me be.”

“You’re going to hurt yourself, Alex.”

“Maybe,” Alex agreed, slowly shuffling towards John. He looks absolutely hilarious, putting one foot in front of the other in a constant shuffling motion. It’s only succeeding in moving him slightly and then sometimes he accidentally pushes himself back, “But it’ll be successful if I do it myself! Getting help is...not my style.”

“Dammit, Alexander, take the help from John.” Lafayette called out from already inside the rink, “It will take you the whole night to get here.”

“If I get there by myself, I’ll be satisfied.” Alexander called out.

“You’ll never be satisfied. Dude, just,” Hercules began, grabbing Alexander by the waist tightly and pushing him up towards John. It was pretty easy to do considering the fact that Alexander started to squeal like a little kid and grip onto Hercules for his life.

Hercules removed Alexander’s hands from his shirt and arm, allowing Alexander to now grip onto John. The three of them are standing super close now, Hercules’ hand hovering over John’s lower back and Hercules’ other hand still on Alexander’s lower back.

After a few seconds, Hercules released a breath, “There. Do you have this from here?” Hercules asked John.

John looked up at Hercules, the both of them nearly as close as they were at the party (minus the kissing...obviously) and nodded. His voice squeaked a little, “Yep.”  
Alexander snorted.

John was about to drop Alexander on the ground just for that laugh alone.

He really shouldn’t have told him.

“Alright.” Hercules laid his hand on John’s lower back for one second before going down to the rink. Alexander raised an eyebrow.

“Ooo,” He teased, “Your voice cracked.”

“It was a tense situation.” John adverted his eyes from Alexander’s face. “What, are you not freaking out over this, too? You like him as well.”

“Oh,” Alexander snorted, “I am. There was no reason for me to hold onto his biceps as dramatically as I did.”

“Wow.” John grinned widely.

Normally, he would probably feel uncomfortable or weird knowing that one of his friends also likes the same person as him but right now, knowing this...it doesn’t feel weird at all. Alexander likes Hercules, John likes Hercules...

_John likes Alexander._

But only a bit.

And only because Alexander is really nice to him.

_And super fucking cute._

_NO!_

_Well, yes._

“Alright, let’s get you onto the rink now.” John snorted, slowly skating backwards with Alexander in his arms. Alexander is still being slightly stubborn about it (occasionally muttering ‘okay, I can do this now’) but whenever John is about to release him he shoots back with ‘haha, just kidding’.

They eventually did get to the rink, though, and John moved Alexander’s hand to the edge of it. “There.” He said, “Safe. You can do it by yourself now.”

“Good.” Alexander smiled, “And...I don’t count getting here with you as...help. Just as friendly assistance.”

“Of course, Alexander.”

“So don’t use it against me.”

“I would never in my dreams, Alexander.”

“And stop using my full name.”

“I shall, Alexander.”

Alex and John both snorted.

John pushed away from Alex and began to skate around slowly, trying to get used to it. It’s not been too long since he last rollerskated but he’s still a little bit rusty. Within a few minutes he’ll be good to go, though.

And he thought he’d get those few minutes until Angelica grabbed his arm.

John forced himself to stop, eyes widened as he flipped around to see the eldest sister, eyebrows furrowed, “You’re friends with Hercules and Lafayette again?”

John didn’t want to speak at first. Her look is enough to kill, “Alex.” He squeaked out.

“You seem too friendly with Hercules to be just friends with Alexander,” She pressed, “I’m surprised you didn’t rush out right away after you saw us since, y’know, that’s what pussies do.”

John sighed.

Angelica has never been afraid of confrontation (they’re both different in that regard.). She will talk to someone and tell them off if she has to – and she is right now. John...deserves it, yeah, but he still doesn’t enjoy it.

“Angel, I’m sorry for what happened bu—,”

“Angelica.” Angelica corrected him, voice bitter. “I can’t believe you dare show your face around me after you put me through – no! After what you put Peggy through! She put her whole entire life into you, John Laurens. She idolized you more than her own dad, more than Eliza, _more than me_.”

Angelica’s voice is low and harsh so no one can hear what they’re saying but you can tell that a few people on the rink are getting slightly annoyed (since they’re stopped on the ring.) and slightly interested/curious.

“I know, Angelica, it’s...” John sighed, “Listen, I can explain. But not right now.”

“I don’t want you to explain,” Angelica’s eyes stayed narrowed, “Because I know what happened. You ran. You thought we were just like Lafayette and Hercules – I’m not dumb! You put us through the same pain Herc and Laf put you through.”

John stayed silent and moved his eyes to the ground.

“I’m not going to continue this conversation here. We’re here to have fun,” Angelica released John’s arm, leaving an indent of her nails in it. “But you bet your fucking ass that I’m going to talk to you more when I get you alone. I’m sick of having Peggy ask if ‘she can call John’. Got it?”

John sighed, nodding. “Yeah.”

“Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wipes tears*  
> look @ herc, john and alexander be awkward teenage bois who love each other  
> Dw, Laf will be added into this sooOoOon  
> SO! Do you guys like Angelica?? U scared of her?? im scared of her  
> What abt Peggy?? I love my dumpling.   
> Comments give my soul LIFE btw <33


	9. CHAPTER NINE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander forces John to speak to Hercules.

John was pretty shaken up after the lecture from Angelica.

He tried to push the nerves away, though, and got on with his night the best he could, not wanting to dwell on what happened too much. Angelica has always been the type of sister to do that – so John isn’t surprised when she was the one to tell him off and leave fucking indents in his arms from her nails.

Eliza hadn’t spoken to John all night (she’s the quieter sister, so it isn’t surprising) but she did give John a lot of glares and sent the occasional sad look towards Peggy who haven’t left John’s sight all night.

“Anyways, I only took art this year because you’re _good at it_ and you taught me a lot.” Peggy continued, skating alongside John, “And since I’m finally in 10th grade and I’m allowed to pick my subjects it’s only _normal_ to pick art over...uh, whatever the other course was.”

John smiled a little bit, shaking his head. “Really?”

“Yeah!” Peggy exclaimed, “You’re super talented, John! Gah, can I see your drawings sometime soon?”

Peggy...was the only person John had ever allowed to see his drawings. Ever.

Eliza had begged, Angelica had tried to steal sneak peaks, Hercules had respected his privacy, and Lafayette tried to steal his sketchbook but...no one besides Peggy was ever allowed to look at the contents inside.

It was private. Every last bit of it. He held every single drawing close to his heart.

He still does.

But this was Peggy.

Poor, little, confused 9th grade Peggy who followed carefully in her older sister’s footsteps. She longed to only be perfect just like Angelica and Eliza.

She kind of lost herself during that, though.

There’s no wonder Peggy felt such a connection towards John. Someone different than her sisters to look up to. A person who wants to go on a completely different path than her sisters.

John can’t believe he pushed himself away from her.

Hell, from all of them.

“We’ll see.” John grinned, nodding softly down at Peggy.

“Neat!” Peggy exclaimed.

Soon, Alexander skated up next to John (still wobbly, still unsure of himself, but he doesn’t have to hold onto the ledge anymore), “Hey, can I steal John from you for a second?”

Peggy looked up at Alexander, nodded once, and then skated away quickly. Not before she threw a week in John’s direction, though.

“Peggy,” Alexander hummed, stopping himself on John’s shoulder once John stopped, “Cute kid.”

“Mhm.” John shook his head, “What’dya need?”

“I want you to talk to Hercules.”

“What?”

John’s eyebrows furrowed and then he shook his head. Alexander beamed, pointing his head towards Hercules who is sitting in the corner by himself on his phone. He left the rink awhile ago, John didn’t know why. “C’mon. The dude is lonely. Now is your time to shine!”

“Alex, we’ve been through this—,”

“You won’t know what could’ve happened if you don’t try!” Alexander poked John’s side softly.

“Like I said, Alex, you’ve tried. If you can’t get him—,”

“Shut up with that bullshit excuse, Laurens.” Alexander huffed, “I’m not for everyone. I’m bossy, loud, and very, very arrogant. Hercules is reserved. You’re reserved. Go suck his dick in the stalls.”

“There’s a special place reserved for you in hell, Hamilton.”

Alexander grinned widely, nodding, “Go!” He pushed John away, making a shooing motion with his hand. John rolled his eyes and sighed, making his way out of the rink.

He’s going to sit next to Hercules...

And say absolutely nothing unless Hercules speaks to him.

So that’s what he did.

He sat down next to (and slightly too close) to Hercules, undoing his skates. He’s honestly done for tonight. He has a lot to think about tonight when he goes home (i.e Angelica and how many ways she’s going to torture him before murdering him.)

It’s not as hard seeing them as he originally thought it would be. Sure, he’s a bit panicky but knowing that Peggy is taking this all like it’s no big deal is...kind of helping.

John fears to know how she actually feels, though.

There’s no way Peggy can actually be this happy with seeing John after John cut them off from his life completely.

“You done?” John jumped a little bit upon hearing Hercules’ voice, looking up at the man before nodding slowly. “Yeah, same. It was fun whilst it lasted but, gotta be honest, I need some quiet right now.”

John grinned a little bit and nodded before stiffening, “Oh—I-I’m sorry, I can move. I didn’t realize you came here to, like, be alo-,”

“No.” Hercules grabbed John’s arm gently and then quickly released it, “It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” John asked slowly, “I know you don’t like me as, like, a friend or anything so I can just...move—,”

“Seriously John,” Hercules said, voice gentle. “It’s fine.”

“Okay.” John bit his lip and stared down at his roller skates. He managed to get the lace untied on one of them but that’s it. “Okay.” He repeated, bending down and beginning to take off the skate slowly, heart pounding.

John licked his lips, taking off the other skate and then sighed. He’s going to have to work with this lie – he has to be suspicious of Hercules being so nice to him. John knows why and...god, he’s so thankful that Hercules actually took note (and cared) about John’s feelings.

“Why’re you being so nice to me?” He got out. Half of him regretted it as soon as he said it and the other half was glad because he’s keeping up this lie.

The lie that will be, inevitably, the end of him.

Hercules shrugged beside him and John looked at Hercules, trying to make his face look as confused as possible. “Uh,” Hercules shrugged, “There was no reason to be an asshole to you to begin with, I guess? I realized that.”

“Oh,” John paused. “Well, thank you.”

“Of course.”

They sat in silence for a little while and Hercules snorted causing John to furrow his eyebrows, “What?”

“This.”

“This?”

“ _Us_ ,” He chuckled, motioning between John and himself and then at their friends who’re fucking around on the rink. “We’re all a group of angsty teenagers who have no idea how far the word ‘sorry’ can go.”

John smiled, rubbing his eyes as he nodded. He’s starting to get a bit tired (hilarious. It’s only around 8pm and he’s already fucking tired. Great.) “Yeah. We’re all kinda fucked up, hm?” John hummed. He took one deep breath and released it.

Laughing with Hercules is...something he’s never done in forever.

“One hundred percent.” Hercules played with his hands, shaking his head. “Listen, this isn’t the time for this but I’m sorry for...like, not talking to you and leaving you that summer without an explanation. I literally have none...there is no explanation as to why I stopped coming around.”

John shrugged. He’s been getting a lot of ‘this isn’t the time’ speeches today. At least Hercules actually followed through and said what he had to say, “You’re not the only one who should be sorry, Herc. I didn’t try that hard, either.”

“But you feel annoying.” Hercules bumped his shoulders with John. John held his breath at the simple contact. “I knew you felt annoying whenever you messaged someone first...and you did message me a few times, remember?”

“You messaged me back.”

Hercules shrugged, “Yeah, what, a few words per message?”

John nodded again. It’s all he can really force his body to do at this point. He’s been trying to ignore and stay away from Hercules all week (more so than the first few) but since John is physically unable to say no to Alexander-Fucking-Hamilton...this happened.

“Guess so.” John whispered. Didn’t know what else to say.

What do you say in this situation?

“Hey,” Hercules bumped his shoulder with John’s again. John looked up at him, avoid his eyes. Last time he looked into Hercules eyes...well, they kissed. So. “Wanna go order some pizza for the others with me? For when they’re done doing...whatever the hell they’re doing.”

John looked out at the rink, smiling.

If this situation weren’t so...fucked up right now, he’d probably be enjoying it a lot more.

Peggy is clinging onto Lafayette’s neck as he pulls her around the rink. She’s squealing loudly through giggles. Alexander and Eliza were talking for a few minutes before Eliza jokingly shoved his arm, causing Alexander to fall flat on his ass.

Even Angelica is smiling, watching her little sisters have the time of their lives.

Eventually she got pushed on her ass by Eliza too, though.

No one else is in the rink besides them. (Either they irritated everyone or everyone just...decided to not stay here so late.)

Kinda makes John wonder if this would’ve been the reality if John stayed friends with all of these people?

Would they all still hang out together?  
John would be happier, that’s all he knows.

Maybe dating Hercules if things worked out.

Or maybe John wouldn’t even like Hercules.

_Maybe he’d be straight in this alternate universe._

John shuddered.

He doesn’t want to think about it.

“Yeah. Pizza.” John stood up, wearing no shoes and just his socks, “Wait, I have to, like, not walk around with just socks on.”

Hercules nodded gently, smiling (fondly?) at John as the smaller boy ran over to where John and Alexander took off their shoes, “Hey! Laurens!” Alexander whispered once John grabbed his shoes.

Not putting his shoes on, John held them in his hand and walked to the edge of the rink to talk to Alexander, “What?” He questioned, bending down a bit to put his shoes on.

“What’re you guys talking about?” Alexander wiggled his eyebrows, “Seems important.”

“He apologized,” John replied. He paused. “ _We_ apologized.”

“You did?” Alexander seemed both shocked and excited, “Cool! Like, you guys were friends and stuff but there was always tension. Now kiss Lafayette when you’re drink and you’re all set!”

“ _What?_ ”

Alexander’s eyes widened, “What?”

“What did you just say?”

“ _Me? Nothing._ ” Alexander cleared his throat, “So...I’m gonna...skate away now.”

John watched, eyes bugged as Alexander pushed off of the rink and towards Eliza.

_**Oh my fucking God.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shoving the plot* MOVE, MOVE, MOVE.  
> So, did'ya like it? :^)  
> I'm listening to the soundtrack rn and I realized that I'm making John a lot more timid than he actually is but leave me alone I wanna make him a shy lil baby.


	10. CHAPTER TEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't proof read this so there's probably going to be a lot of errors. Sorryryryry

John watched Alexander in both shock and confusion as the boy skated quickly over to Eliza. John had no idea what to say. Was Alexander just joking about that? Does Alexander know that John kissed Hercules?  
_Does Alexander know?  
_ He must, right? There’s no way in hell that Alexander would’ve made that joke without knowing. John can’t possibly be so unlucky that one of Alexander’s jokes just so happens to hit super close to home.

Gulping, John took his hair out of the ponytail, running his hand through it before shoving it back up again, shoving his other shoe on as he walked over to Hercules who stood, waiting patiently for John. This is...so much right now.

John doesn’t want to leave and make it obvious that he knows what Alexander was talking about. To Alexander, Hercules, Dolly, Martha, _everyone_ , John doesn’t know. John was so drunk that he doesn’t remember everything.

That’s...kind of terrible.

“Hey, you alright?” Hercules asked, looking at John as the smaller boy made his way over. John cleared his throat, rubbing his eyes and then forced a small smile in Hercules’ direction.

“Yeah! Just a bit tired. I’m like a baby.” He joked and tried to ignore the panic in his chest the best that he possibly could.

If Alexander knows (if he does) then that has to mean that other people have to, too. John knows that Aaron, Martha and Dolly know. That’s a given. And there’s a possibility that Alexander knows, too. Hercules probably told Lafayette, as well.

If Lafayette knows, Eliza knows. If Eliza knows Peggy and Angelica know. Who knows how many other people?

“It’s early,” Hercules laughed, “You’re right. You are a baby.”

John forced another smile at Hercules, rubbing his face as the two of them walked to the counter to order the pizza. Well, Hercules ordered as John stood next to him. John is keeping a bit more distance from Hercules now, though.

He can’t seem too obvious.

He can’t say anything, he can’t question anyone, he can’t risk ruining his newly-found friendship with Hercules. He also can’t risk making Lafayette hate him more. This is all for Alexander. He has to hide these emotions for Alexander.

Hercules ordered a pepperoni pizza and a cheese one once John mentioned that the sisters only like cheese. John used to make fun of them for that.

Hercules and John stood off to the side as the employees began to make the pizza, John leaning against the counter and Hercules standing in front of him. The two stood in silence for a little while. John kept his eyes down but he could feel Hercules eyes on his face.

“So,” Hercules finally spoke up. John still didn’t look. “You don’t remember anything from last Friday?”

John hesitated to answer. “I remember a few things,” He said. “Like, I remember looking for Alex.”

“That’s it?”

John nibbled on the inside of his lip. He can either confess to knowing about the kiss or continue to force through with the lie. John is too weak. “Yeah. I think that’s it. Why?”

Hercules furrowed his eyebrows, nodding once. He doesn’t seem too convinced. Hercules is a pretty decent people-reader. He could always tell when John was lying by the look in John’s eyes. So there’s a reason he isn’t looking up.

“Okay.” Hercules sighed. He shook his head and within a few minutes their order was done.

Hercules grabbed the boxes of people, walking back into the roller rink area (which also has tables, thank God) and yelled out, “Guys! We have pizza!” John stood behind Hercules, staring down at his feet and over thinking everything he possibly can.

Alexander knows. He must, and that’s the reason he’s trying to force John and Hercules together. Does Hercules like John, too?

No. No way.

Releasing a sigh, John ran a hand through his hair and focused on not spacing out for the rest of the night.

* * *

_**John: What did you mean by kissing Laf drunk?** _

John texted Alexander as soon as he got through his front door after dropping Alexander off at his house. John didn’t want to talk to Alexander about this matter in person since John is the worse liar in the world.

Within a few seconds, Alexander replied. John didn’t read it right away, just walked upstairs and sat down on his bed, kicking his shoes off and taking his hair down. He then looked down at his phone.

_**Alexander H: Listen, idk if this is a conversation we should have via text.** _

_**Alexander H: We can meet up tomorrow? Talk about it then?** _

_**Alexander H: But idek if you remember what I’m gonna say which is why I need to speak to you irl. For safe measures.** _

That seals the deal then.

Alexander knows that Hercules kissed him – or John kissed Hercules – or, whatever, the way it happened doesn’t matter. What matters is that Alexander _knows about it_. That either means Hercules told Alexander or Alexander found out via someone else.

Despite being a little bit angry, John hopes Alexander found out from Hercules. At least then John knows that no one (at least no one who cares) saw him kiss his old best friend.

_**John: You’re worrying me.** _

_**Alexander H: I don’t think it’s too big of a deal, but the fact that I know and you don’t has been eating me up lmao.** _

_**Alexander H: And besides, I’m bad at keeping secrets.** _

_**John: Okay. Well, Rose’s?** _

_**Alexander H: Yea!! 12?** _

_**John: mhm.** _

_**Alexander H: It’s a date ;P** _

John released a shaky breath and turned off his phone, shoving it underneath his pillow before laying his head on said pillow. He played with his fingers, staring at his roof. This isn’t that big of a deal, is it? Alexander doesn’t seem to care.

If anything, Alexander seems excited for John...which is a good thing, right?

John doesn’t know _why_ Alexander would be excited for him. He likes Hercules, too, so this is all messing with his head so much.

John closed his eyes, trying his best to not think about his current situation.

It’s...not that bad. Not at all.

Sure, Hercules is blabbing his mouth to literally everyone he knows and sure, if Lafayette found out about the kiss there’s a possibility that the whole school could know. Lafayette has always been good with secrets, though.

The only thing that’s worrying John the most is people finding out he’s gay.

More specifically, his dad.

John shook his head weakly, rubbing his hands over his eyes as he continued to think about everything. Hercules, Alexander, the Schuyler sisters, Lafayette.

He’s been thinking about them so much he’s going insane.

It isn’t healthy and John knows it. Sure, John is okay with Hercules now, but now John kissed Hercules and Hercules has no idea John knows. John _likes Hercules_.

His heart speeds up around him and he gets really awkward and blushy and he just finds Hercules absolutely adorable. The way he raises his eyebrow whenever Alexander says anything questionable or the way he scrunches his nose when Lafayette makes a terrible (dirty) joke...is just perfect.

Hercules is perfect.

Hercules is perfect but he’s only – probably – feeling pity for everything he has put John through. There’s no way in living hell that Hercules _actually likes John_.

John is John.

John is unlikable, awkward, has too many freckles, his hair is always a mess, he wears sweaters that’re way too big for him, so on.

John can’t keep this inside of him.

Alexander knows now and Alexander is (John assumes) going to bring it up at Rose’s tomorrow. John’s going to confess to Alexander that he’s known all along and he’s going to get this shit off of his chest. From then on? Maybe he’ll try to speak to Hercules about it.

Or maybe he’ll just avoid Hercules.

No.

John can’t do that anymore. He can’t run away from his problems.

What Angelica said to him has been haunting him, too (another thing he cannot stop thinking about). John runs too frequently. He keeps everything hidden and quiet and then to ‘avoid hurt’ he pushes people away to avoid hurting himself without thinking about the feelings of others.

“Fucking hell,” John hissed, turning to his side and squeezing his eyes shut.

* * *

“John Laurens!” Alexander exclaimed as John walked into Rose’s Cafe, listening to the small bell above him ding. John smiled a little bit at Alexander, walking over to the table he’s at and sitting down. “You’re late.”

“By fifteen minutes,” John rolled his eyes, taking a deep breath. “Dad was interrogating me.”

“Why? It’s Sunday and you’re going out with your friends. What’s wrong with that?”

John shrugged, “He’s southern. He wanted me to go to church but I disagreed. We...never go to church anymore but of course the day I have plans he wants me to go.” John snorted, looking down. “Besides, I would probably burn if I entered a church.”

Alexander hummed, “Ditto.”

They stayed in silence for a few minutes. Alexander sipped at his – probably black – coffee and John had to force himself from not scrunching his nose again. John didn’t want to drink anything. For once in John’s life, he was the one who broke the silence, “Alright, Alexander, spill.”

Alexander blinked at John, bringing his coffee to his lips one more time before laying it down on the table, sighing. “This might be some heavy information so...should I sugar coat it? Should I...not?”

“Please. Just tell me.” John muttered. He wants to know if Alexander knows that John assumes he does.

“Alright,” Alexander shifted in his chair, “When you were drunk at Jefferson’s party... you both kissed.” There was some silence before Alexander continued. “I wanted to tell you earlier but I had no idea how you’d take it. The joke was just for my humour and I didn’t realize that it might’ve sounded...weird. Bad. Terrible. I’m so sorry.”

John shrugged, playing with the sleeves of his sweater, “I knew.”

“You what?”

John raised his head, looking at Alexander who looks both confused and shocked. “I knew.” He repeated. “I remember everything from that night...I just...I lied because I didn’t want to deal with the awkwardness of talking to Hercules about it. Do you think I’d just _start liking_ Hercules without any explanation?”

“Well, we’re teenagers so, yeah, I did assume that.” Alexander released a soft laugh. He shook his head. “So you knew this whole time?”

“I did.”

“And you...didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t.” John bit the pad of his thumb, “And in my defence, I didn’t tell anyone at all. I didn’t even want to admit it to myself at first.”

“Shit.” Alexander laughed a little, “Damn...so, how was the kiss?”

“Alex!” John scoffed, kicking Alexander’s shin gently, “Shut up for a second and tell me: how did you find out? Then I’ll answer all your weird porno questions.”

“Hercules isn’t bad at keeping things hidden.” Alexander responded, “I knew something was up when Dolly, Martha and Aaron were giggling whenever you’d speak. Hercules was tense so...I cornered him and demanded him to tell me. He eventually gave in. Big guy has a soft spot for short guys with puppy dog eyes, apparently.”

“Does anyone else besides you, Martha, Dolly, and Aaron know?” John asked hesitantly.

Alexander shrugged, “I don’t think so.”

“Okay.” John released a thankful breath, “Have you and Hercules...talked about it after that?”

“He gets too flustered to talk about it.” Alexander laughed, “So, no.”

“He does? Why?”

“I think he might like you, too.” Alexander said. John’s eyes widened and he blushed.

“No way. He likes you, Alex...seriously. He probably only kissed me because you were upstairs fucking someone.”

“John,” Alexander laid his hand on top of John’s. “I know that you know Hercules wouldn’t ever kiss someone he didn’t like just for the sake of getting someone else off of his mind.”

“But...” John paused, “We didn’t even speak aside from that night where he apologized to me. Why would he like me?”

“Because you’re adorable, J.” Alexander rolled his eyes as if it were obvious. “You have a cute southern accent that comes out when you’re irritated, you have cute freckles, your eyes are gorgeous, you’re super tiny and shy, and you’re just _really cute_.”

John looked at Alexander, flustered, “Shut up.”

“I’m being honest.” Alexander raised his hand and pinched John’s cheek. “Now! Tell me; how was the kiss?”

John lowered his eyes, blushed more, and then took a deep breath, “Oh my God it was amazing,” He gushed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont rlly like how this chapter turned out.  
> Also, I ran out of prewritten chapters (so I rushed this one) and I might continue writing all night so I have more to put up but if I don't update tomorrow /that's why/.  
> Anyways, more progress between John/Alexander/Hercules. Laf will come EVENTUALLY.  
> AND ONE last thing:  
> Idk if there's going to be smut in this story but if there is I wanna tell u who I think tops/bottoms/etc.  
> -John is a bottom for everyone and doesn't top at all (unless he's rlly wanted to. He prefers to bottom)   
> -Alexander ONLY tops for John. He bottoms for everyone else and (sometimes) John depending on the situation.  
> -Lafayette only bottoms for Hercules and that's rare. He's more dominant (in this fan fiction) than not.  
> -Hercules will literally bottom for No One. He's rlly dominant in bed and reeeeffuuusssesss to let anyone stick anything in his ass.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small take into Alexander's day.

Alexander was brutally awaken on Monday morning by a loud scream from his foster sister. She’s banging forcefully on the door next to Alexander’s room (Alexander can only assume that it’s the bathroom).

Alexander huffed loudly, turning around on his stomach as he raised his pillow, shoving it onto his head to try to drown out the noise. He stayed up all night texting John about Hercules and whilst Alexander enjoyed it then, he’s not enjoying it very much now.

“SHUT UP, MARIA!” Alexander screamed out, voice halfway muffled by his bed. It was loud enough for Maria to hear, though, clearly.

“YOU SHUT UP!” She screamed back before going back to pounding on the bathroom door. Alexander could hear the water turned on and Maria screamed even louder in distress, “I hate this house!”

Maria was fostered by Alexander’s current family for about one year before they officially adopted her three years ago. She was thrown out of her house at 15 for being gay and was able to be taken in by Alexander’s lovely foster parents.

The person Maria is probably yelling at is her brother, Samuel. He’s his foster family’s biological son and lives to make Maria’s life a personal nightmare. They fight as if they’re cats and dogs and all of their actions revolve around trying to piss each other off.

Giving up on trying to sleep more, Alexander pulled himself out of bed, rubbing his eyes as he padded out into the hallway. He sent Maria a glare, “Necessary?”

“Very.” Maria turned around and pressed her back against the bathroom door, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Couldn’t you just wait for him to, I don’t know, get out of the shower?” Alexander muttered, rubbing his eyes.

“I would if he didn’t take all the water.” She pursed her lips, “He takes too long! We need two bathrooms. MOM!”

“My gosh, do you guys have to be so loud in the morning?” Alexander turned to face his foster mother – Martha Washington. She doesn’t seem annoyed, a small smile is playing on her lips as she raised an eyebrow at Maria and Alexander.

Alexander raised his hands, “I wasn’t yelling.”

“You did yell, Alexander. I heard.” Alex’s foster father, George Washington, walked out of his bedroom. He smiled.

George Washington is, you guessed it, the principal at Alexander’s high school. No one really knows that Alexander is being fostered by George – or fostered at all, really. He tends to keep pretty quiet about it. The fact that he never sees Maria or George in school helps, too.

“To tell Maria to shut up. It was for all of us.” Alexander made a dramatic motion with his hands.

George and Maria chuckled.

Alexander has been in a handful of Foster houses in his lifetime and also in some group homes. He’s never been a trouble maker but Alexander still got passed around as if he were an old toy that no one really wanted anymore.

He’s been with George and Martha for almost a year now. Alexander is pretty happy here. He even felt safe enough to actually make friends with people at his school. He feels as if George and Martha won’t get rid of him as easily as his other foster families did.

“We need more bathrooms.” Maria deadpanned, changing the conversation slightly. “There are five of us in this household and we have one bathroom.”

“Well, we only have two high maintenance people, dear.” Martha wrapped her robe tightly around her body as she spoke, tying it. “You and Samuel.”

“Exactly! So two bathrooms should suffice.” Maria said, “Besides, this isn’t fair. He wasn’t high maintenance until he started dating freaking George King, of all people.”

Alexander shook his head and looked down at the ground. Yeah, George King. He’s the most dramatic person in all of the school. He’s frequently in every single musical/play the school has, he walks around as if he owns the place, and he gets everything he wants.

Including Samuel.

Sam was really shy and awkward when Alexander met him. Sure, he still fought with Maria but that was about it. He has changed a lot (for better or for worse) when he began dating King. How he managed to swing someone so loud and popular is a shock to both Alexander and Maria.

“He’s happy, Maria.” George said. He’s already dressed in a button up and dress pants. He wears the same thing to school every day, really. “Let him be.”

“I’ll let him be if he allows me to at least brush my teeth.”

George chuckled and shook his head, walking downstairs. Martha raised her eyebrow, “Also, we do have two bathrooms, dear.”

“Yeah! But the shower has been broken for literally two years.”

Martha nodded once, “That’s true.” She paused, “Anyways, brush your teeth in the kitchen sink.”  
“I can’t believe this household!” Maria called after Martha as Martha began to walk downstairs.

* * *

“Boo.” Alexander poked Lafayette’s side, grinning as the man looked around in confusion before his eyes laid on Alexander, raising an eyebrow. Alexander and Lafayette’s lockers are fairly close to each others.

“It is not Halloween yet.” Lafayette brought up, grabbing a few books from his locker.

“I just...it’s like a thing you say when you sneak up behind someone.” Alexander said slowly.

“Was it supposed to be scary?” Lafayette asked.

“I guess?”

“Oh. Well it was not.”

Alexander snorted, shaking his head gently at his French friend. Alexander opened his own locker, grabbing the books he needed for class, “I haven’t spoken to you since Saturday. Did you have fun? At the rink?”

Lafayette took a few seconds to respond. Lafayette has been used to being around people who assume only drugs/drinking can equal fun so it’s always been a bit surprising for him and unusual when he manages to have a blast without any substances in his body.

Finally, Lafayette nodded. “I did. Thank you for inviting me, mon ami.”

“Hercules did, too.” Alexander said, looking up at Lafayette. “How’re you and Thomas?”

“Ah,” Lafayette hummed. “He is not speaking to me. I do not blame him. I made out with his boyfriend after all.”

“His boyfriend made out with you, too.”

“Oui. He is not talking to his boyfriend, either.”

Alexander scoffed, “Did you explain that it only happened because—,”

“Oui. However, please, not in the hallway.”

That caused Alexander to shut his mouth, nodding.

“What class do you have first?”

“Science.” Lafayette rolled his eyes, “With John Laurens.”

“I thought you guys were getting along?”

“We are.” Lafayette turned on his heel and began to walk. Alexander followed closely to his side, only able to keep up with Lafayette’s long strides because, even though Lafayette is taller, Alexander is quicker at walking. “However, he is a very bad partner.”

“How?” Alexander grinned, bumping Lafayette’s side.

“I will spare you the gory details.” Lafayette chuckled, “Just take my word for it.”

Alexander nodded and the two of them walked in silence for a little while. Alexander found himself watching random students as they spoke to each other. He also held contact with Samuel for a few seconds before his foster brother turned back to talking to George King.

Not surprising.

Even Maria and Samuel don’t speak to each other in school. It’s as if they’re on different planets.

“I have to go speak to Eliza.” Lafayette looked down at Alexander, “I will see you later, okay?”

“Okay!” Alexander nodded, “Tell her I said hi.”

“I will.”

Lafayette soon turned a corner and began down a hallway Alexander had no business going down. It’s the wing for most of the clubs. And, well, despite Alexander being fairly loud he tries his best to stay away from clubs. He just doesn’t like being in them.

He even steered clear of the debate club which is...odd.

Alexander continued to walk by himself, releasing a gentle sigh. He’s just going to walk to John’s locker (since it’s closer than Hercules) and hope that John is there so he can talk to him. Besides, he still has a lot more questions to ask that he never got around to asking John.

John liking (and kissing) Hercules was...honestly so exciting for Alexander. Alex doesn’t hide it from himself, but he does like Hercules. He likes Hercules, he likes Lafayette, and he likes John. All of them, at once, he is in love with.

Well, love is a strong word.

But he does like them a lot.

Alexander, honestly, knew he liked John as soon as he laid eyes on him. Believe it or not, Alexander had to bring up enough courage to even speak to John. Of course, the first thing he said to him was super cocky, but he was too nervous to think straight.

The shyness and blushiness of John was so overly adorable and it had Alexander swooning within seconds.

Hercules was pretty easy to like, too. He’s funny and super kind to people who’re kind to him. He’s somewhat quiet, but at least when he speaks he doesn’t put it to waste. He actually listens to Alexander, too. Also, apparently he’s a good kisser.

Also, also, Hercules likes Alexander, too.

Sure, none of them really tried to further their relationship and Alexander 100% refuses to now that John likes him.

Lafayette was a bit harder to like.

Yeah, he was attractive and easy to look at but he was also a closed-off douche. Lafayette is still a bit closed off now, but he’s a lot more open to Alexander and actually cares about his feelings. Alexander can see Lafayette close off around John and Hercules, though, which really fucking sucks.

And Alexander can’t pick one person he likes more.

“Laurens, Laurens, Laurens.” Alexander said as he got to John’s locker. He poked his friend’s side playfully. “Good morning.”

“It’s Monday. Is it really that good?” John smiled brightly at Alexander. God, he’s gorgeous.

“It’s good now that I’ve seen you.” Alexander laughed, winking playfully. He played off his flirting by quickly changing the subject, “See Hercules yet?”

“Sadly, no.” John pouted, causing Alexander to smile more.

There’s one reason Alexander doesn’t mind John having a crush on Hercules: Because Alexander’s one goal in life is to date all three of them...consensually, of course.

The most difficult part of this is trying to figure out if Lafayette, Hercules and John are polya or not.

That, and trying to make everyone fall in love with everyone.

“You’re so whipped for him.” Alexander teased, “How did I not see it before?”

“Because I’m, like, decent at hiding it. Not from you now...since you know and all.”

“And we can gossip about him like 9th graders.” Alexander joked, somewhat. He and John did stay up all night texting about Hercules so...his joke isn’t far fetched.

“You’ve known for a few days and we already do.” John grabbed his books from his locker.

“That...is true.”

The both of them grinned brightly at each other. Alexander bit his lip, running his eyes over John’s face, mentally counting a few of his freckles as he did so. “So, do you have any plans for today?” Alexander asked.

“No.” John shook his head, “I never really do during the weekdays.”

“Perfect!” Alexander exclaimed, “You, me, Hercules, maybe Lafayette, are going to the park today.”

“Why?” John raised his eyebrow.

“Because! I need to hang out with my buddies more.” Alexander said as if it were obvious, slinging the arm that isn’t holding his books around John’s shoulder. John closed his locker and began to walk, Alexander’s arm still around his shoulder. “I love you guys so we have to...like, not limit our talking to school.”

“I mean...I’m down.” John shrugged, “Because of you. And Hercules.”

“Poor Laf.” Alexander joked.

Alexander knows it’ll be the hardest to get John and Lafayette to become proper friends. Things are intense with them and even though Alexander doesn’t know the story, the painful past is clearly there. He wants to fix it. Sure, Lafayette and John (act like they) don’t hate each other but...it’s still overbearingly awkward.

“I mean, I don’t like Lafayette.” John laughed.

Alexander paused.

_Wait, does that mean John likes me?  
He probably meant as a friend, though._

_What...if he likes-likes me though?_

“Aww,” Alexander cooed, “You _like_ me!” He joked. He swears, without fake jokes he would never be able to live.

John flushed, rolled his eyes, and playfully pushed Alexander. “Shut up, Alex. You know what I meant.”

_I really didn’t._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will probably be in John's POV?? I'm not sure tho.  
> I just wanted to write in Alexander's POV bc,,, why not??


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John goes to the park with Alexander, Hercules and Lafayette.

John didn’t want to agree to hang out with Alexander, Hercules and Lafayette at first.

Alexander might make it too obvious that John likes Hercules and if Hercules happens to figure it out, then John’s life is basically ruined. He wants to keep this secret from Hercules as long as physically possible. If that means taking it to his grave then so be it.

Plus, Lafayette being there would not make this situation any easier or less tense than it is. John knows that Alexander is trying to make Lafayette and John closer now but is this the way to do it? An awkward hang out in a park?

John couldn’t say no, though.

Alexander seemed so hopeful and excited for it. Of course John said yes to that face.

The four of them walked side-by-side to the park, skipping out on going home altogether. John stood next to Alexander on the end, Alexander stood next to Lafayette, and Lafayette stood next to Hercules who was also on the end.

John kept his eyes either on the ground or straight ahead. Alexander is okay with John, Hercules is okay with John, but there’s still Lafayette. There’s constant tension anywhere if John and Lafayette do as much as look at each other.

Thankfully, right now, no one is really focused on John. They’re chatting about a project that they have to do for writing class, a class that John isn’t in. So he’s somewhat listening to their conversations, somewhat zoning out.

They arrived to the park, walking into it and following Alexander towards a large oak tree that’s in the middle of the park. No one is really here right now since school just let out and plus it’s getting slightly chilly. There are a few people walking their dogs, though.

“So, guys,” Alexander grinned. There’s a glint in his eyes that John somewhat recognizes. Alexander sat on the grass on his knees, looking up at his friends, “I want us to, for a day, act like really annoying teenage girls in teen flicks.”

“Why?” Lafayette asked slowly, sitting down next to Alexander. Hercules sat down next to Lafayette and John hesitantly sat down next to Hercules. “How will that help us in any way?”

“It won’t! It’ll just be fun.” Alexander beamed.

John smiled a little bit at Alexander’s expression, melting. The boy is so fucking adorable.

“Alright, fine.” Alexander seemed to have the same effect on Lafayette, too. Whether that be because Alexander is, literally, the cutest person alive or he just has Lafayette wrapped around his finger John is unsure.

Maybe both.

“Cool!” Alexander paused.

Silence.

“So, how do we become teenage girls?” Lafayette asked. John shook his head, staring down at the grass as he smiled. Lafayette rarely says anything that succeeds in making John laugh, so, this is one of the history books.

“We can start with...” Alexander looked around the park. He then pouted, shrugged. “I have no idea.”

Hercules snorted, “Well, this was fun whilst it lasted.”

“We never hang out outside of school unless we are with other people. This was bound to be a little bit awkward.” Alexander played with the edge of his jacket, drooping his shoulders. “Are we too sober to play spin the bottle?”

“Yes, Alexander.” Lafayette laughed.

“Plus, we literally have no bottle.” John chirped, tilting his head to the side.

Hercules looked down at John as John spoke. He smiled gently, released a soft breath and then turned away. John blushed at how soft his gaze was.

“Well, I’m stumped!” Alexander dramatically fell back against the grass. He looked up at the sky through the branches of the oak tree. “How about we talk about crushes?”

“Crushes?” Hercules asked. He raised his eyebrow. John pursed his lips – Alexander would never dare. He’s bringing this up on purpose isn’t he? “Seriously?”

“As serious as I’ll ever be.” Alexander nodded. He hoisted himself up on his elbows and looked at his friends. “I know, like, nothing about who you guys like and it’s killing me! Especially Lafayette. Dude is like a wall.”

“Of course I am. Alexander, mon ami, you have a giant mouth.” Lafayette shook his head, “I do not mean to be rude but...my gosh.”

“I’m good at keeping secrets!” Alexander paused, “Sometimes!”

John snorted, shaking his head. Right.

“I’ll go first.” Alexander offered. He raised his foot and poked Hercules’ chest softly, “For example: I like Hercules.”

“Well that one is obvious,” Lafayette rolled his eyes. “You have been both pining over each other since you have met.”

“That’s true,” John spoke up again. He looked between Hercules and Alexander. Time to pin this all on Alex, “You two should, you know, try to figure out your relationship. The sexual tension is excruciating.”

John knows it would hurt if Alexander and Hercules did end up dating. Seeing Hercules who John 100% likes and seeing Alexander who John 50% likes will be a hurtful thing to see. But maybe if they date, John will get over the impossible dream of him and Hercules.

“For once in my lifetime, I agree with John.” Lafayette looked over at John. John grinned.

“Guys.” Hercules laughed a bit, shaking his head. “C’mon.”

“There’s no sexual tension.” Alexander began. Then he paused, “Well, not anymore.”

John’s eyebrows furrowed and Lafayette cleared his throat before speaking, “I do not want to know what you mean by that.”

Alexander’s eyebrows also furrowed, looking at Lafayette in confusion. It took a few seconds before realizing what Lafayette meant, “Oh! We didn’t—,”

“Okay, Alex.” John joked. He leaned over Hercules’ body to pat Alexander’s shoulder, “We know. Just admit it.”

Hercules bit his lip when John slightly crawled over him, watching with his breath held as John retreated slowly. “I’m done being a teenage girl now!” Alexander exclaimed, “Let’s go back to being dude bros and wrestling.”

* * *

Eventually, two weeks have passed.

John hasn’t been dealing with his crush any better. He still only speaks to Hercules when Alexander is around and tries his best to not speak to Lafayette at all (aside from Science class). The main thing that has changed is that John is talking to Peggy a lot, now.

It’s good to have someone around who isn’t Alexander all the time. Sure, John really adores Alexander’s attention and company but John can feel himself getting pulled slower and slower into a stupid infatuation with the boy that he doesn’t want.

He already likes Hercules. Hasn’t life punished him enough?

John and Peggy are currently sitting across from each other in the library. Alexander has lunchtime detention (he mouthed off a teacher) and John didn’t want to sit with Hercules and Lafayette alone so he asked Peggy to go to the library with him. Just like old times.

“This, tell me what you think.” Peggy pushed her sketchbook towards John. She cleared her throat, “Give me honest critique. I think that the proportions are a bit wonky and maybe the eyes are a lot too big.”

John studied the picture.

Peggy has been taking art very seriously, more serious than John. Sure, John enjoys doing it and he wants to make a career out of it some day but she’s taking it to the next extreme. She’s a lot more passionate than John ever was.

“It’s good,” John paused, “But yeah, the proportions aren’t exactly right. Her shoulders are too small, I think. Throws off the whole picture.”

Peggy, despite it being a critique, beamed at John, “I knew it!” She kept her voice low, “Eliza and Angel wouldn’t tell me what was wrong with it. They kept saying ‘nothing, dear’. Ergh! Thank you.”

“I’ve never seen someone get so excited over critique.” John said honestly, “Even I still get offended over it sometimes.”

Peggy shrugged, closing her sketchbook. “I wanna be the best I can be.”

John hummed, “In that case, work more on drawing males, too.”

Peggy giggled, nodding. “I will.” Her phone buzzed on the table and she looked down at it, quickly shooting the person who texted her a text back, “Is it okay if Angel and Eliza come here?”

John pursed his lips, hesitating. “Uh...sure.”

Just when he was finally comfortable with his position, Angelica and Eliza have to swoop in. Fun.

“Anyways,” Peggy laid her chin on her hand, “Alexander.”

“What about him?” John asked slowly.

“He’s cute,” She raised an eyebrow. John slowly nodded, “Don’tcha think?”

“I guess?” John said. What he really wanted to say was ‘yesyesyesyesyesyesyes so fucking cute’. Because, yeah, at least John can rant about Hercules now but he can’t talk with Alexander about...well, Alexander.

“John.” Peggy deadpanned. She blinked. “You like him.”

John groaned as he covered his face, “Is it _that_ obvious?”

“Very.” Peggy giggled. She reached across the table to grab John’s hands.

“Well,” John sighed, “I don’t know if I like him like him. I like someone else, too. Y’know? So I think it might just be Alexander being nice to me that’s making me like him.”

It’s kind of odd to talk to Peggy about these things so easily. She didn’t have to coax him, demand to hear who he likes. She just...asked. Peggy, along with the other sisters, are good at keeping secrets. They still kept everything John told them close to their chests even when John did what he did.

“You like someone else?” Peggy asked, “Who? Also, y’know, you can date three people.”

“I know. I don’t want to cheat, though.” John bit his lip. He debated on actually telling Peggy or dodging the subject. He decided, to hell with it, and told her. “And...uh, Hercules Mulligan.”

“One,” Peggy began, raising a finger, “There’s this thing called Polyamory. Completely consensual relationship between three or more people,” She licked her bottom lip, “Secondly, Hercules is really cute so...go get him.”

John laughed. It’s so weird to see how grown up Peggy has gotten. Sure, she’s still got a childish aura around her and she’s still very lovable (and sadly easy to manipulate) but she’s very, very well informed. “Wait, wait, can you tell me more about pol—,”

“My dear sister,” John was cut off by Eliza walking up to them, leaning down to kiss Peggy’s cheek gently. “Hello.”

“Hey!” Peggy replied, beaming. Eliza sat down next to Peggy and Angelica sat on the other side.

There was some tense silence for a little while, no one 100% sure what to do. Angelica and Eliza hate John but they love Peggy...this is so much.

“So,” Eliza sighed. She looked at John, “Angel and I have been thinking.”

“About...” John hesitated.

“You and Peggy,” Peggy furrowed her eyebrows, confused. Clearly she wasn’t part of their conversation.

“What about me and Peggy?” John was confused. He and Peggy are friends, yeah, but why would they need to be thinking about the two of them?

“Listen, Angel and I love Pegs,” Eliza ran a hand through her hair. She looked down at the table, “And we want her to be happy. So, we’ve decided to try our best to put the past behind us. If you want that, too.”

Angelica spoke quickly before John could reply, “We don’t have to hang out or try to be actual friends again. Just enough so we don’t glare at each other in the hallway. I can get over the shitty things you’ve done to us in the past if you agree to try to get over it, too. Not that we did anything wr—,”

“Angelica,” Eliza raised an eyebrow and Angelica sighed. She closed her mouth.

Peggy looked hopeful. John had to think.

Will this be another ‘pretend to be friends with B and C to make person A happy’? John isn’t sure if he can handle another one of those situations. He’s still struggling a little bit with being around (mostly) Lafayette.

John has this problem with saying ‘no’ to people he cares about, though.

“Uh,” John slowly nodded, “Sure. I can put it behind us if you can.”

“Could!” Angelica exclaimed. A few people looked over at her in annoyance. She lowered her voice, “That means I shouldn’t threaten you anymore, and I won’t, but do not hurt my little sister again, Laurens.”

John bit his tongue. Smiled. “I won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More sisters !1!!1!!  
> Okay so it'll take me longer than I thought to add Laf into John's 'LIKE LIKE LIKE' radar bUT IT WILL HAPPEN. DW.   
> Anyways, to clear some things up: John won't rlly hang around w/ Eliza//Angelica [yet]. Just peggy. They're just not gna hate each other every second of the day,,,visibly.  
> And I THINK THAT'S ALL *party poppers*


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

“Did you hear about the dance?” Alexander asked excitedly, skipping up to John in the cafeteria. John was the first one there (and, surprisingly, instead of walking away like he usually does, John sat down. He blamed it on his hunger and actually eating something in school.) Alexander sat down across from John, raising an eyebrow.

“I did.” John nodded softly. The school is having a Halloween dance around a week before Halloween (kinda dumb). John has never been the type of person to go to Halloween dances/parties/anything of the sorts. He went trick-or-treating until he was 10 but that was about it.

“Are you going?” Alexander asked, tapping his fingers against the surface of the table.

“I dunno,” John replied, digging his fork through the gross cafeteria food. Despite how unappetizing it looks (and tastes) it calms his hunger down for a little while, he raised the fork to his lips. “Parties and stuff aren’t my thing.”

“Oh, I know. After Hercules—,” Alexander paused and wiggled his eyebrows. John rolled his eyes, blushed. “They seem to be something you’ve taken a hold on. But you should go! It’ll be fun. Hercules is going.”

John pursed his lips, “So?” He asked, putting the food into his mouth.

“So? So! Ask him to go with you.” Alexander said as if it were obvious.

“Uh, yeah right.” John swallowed and snorted, “As if.”

“C’mon! It’ll be so cute. He’ll probably say yes. And if he doesn’t, play it off and say ‘dude, chill out I was just asking you as a friend’ or...or something!” Alexander poked John’s arm playfully.

“You’re so weird,” John commented, eyebrows furrowing as he looked at his friend. Alexander raised an eyebrow, “Like...you like Hercules, too, almost as much as me and if not more. But you’re demanding that I ask Herc out. Why? What’s in it for you?”

“Is it a crime to want to see your best friend happy?” Alexander asked. John beamed at the ‘best friend’ term. It’s wild for someone to consider him a friend – let alone best friend.

“Yes.” John deadpanned, “Especially with you.”

“Ugh!” Alexander sighed, looking at John. “I was going to ask Laf.”

“Hm,” John raised an eyebrow, “You are?”

John knows that Alexander likes Lafayette, too. He didn’t think it would be enough for Alexander to ask him to the dance. However, this is Alexander. He’s unpredictable. Hell, God only knows how much Alexander likes Lafayette. Alexander could be sucking his dick for all John knows.

Er...well, John would hope Alexander would’ve told him that.

Actually, maybe not.

“Yeah.” Alexander continued to tap his fingers on the table, “I mean, you like Hercules so it’s just as well for me to move past him and give you your well-deserved chance. Plus, I’ve liked Laf for a while.”

“You might wanna ask soon.” John said, tapping his fingers against the top of the table now, following Alexander’s motions without meaning to, “I heard that Eliza was gonna ask him.”

“Heard? From who?” Alexander asked. He furrowed his eyebrows.

Not to be rude to John at all – Alexander adores him, he does – but John doesn’t have very many friends to hear gossip from, exactly. John has Alexander and...well, maybe Hercules somewhat. Alexander knows that John doesn’t speak to Lafayette, Dolley, Aaron or Martha unless they’re all together.

“Peggy,” John replied. He stopped himself from tapping his fingers.

“You’re talking to her now? Properly?” Alexander asked. Last time he knew about John speaking to any of the Schuyler sisters was at the roller skating rink.

“Yeah! We usually text a lot, though. Not much time to hang out in school.” John replied.

“Hm,” Alexander nodded and then switched the topic back to Lafayette, “Do you think Laf would agree? To Eliza, I mean.”

John shrugged. Lafayette is unpredictable. If he’s anything like he used to be, he would probably decline her offer. If Laf says he’s strictly friends with someone, he’s strictly friends with them. However, it’s been years.

“I don’t know.” John said honestly.

Alexander pouted, shaking his head. “I’ll ask him.” He deadpanned. Then paused, “Erm...maybe?”

John shook his head and smiled a little bit. Part of John is upset that Alexander doesn’t want to go to the dance with him and another part of him is rooting for his best friend. God, John wishes he could just set his emotions in stone.

_Have it one way or another, Laurens._

“But if I ask Laf out you have to ask Herc out.”

John rolled his eyes and groaned, “I didn’t agree to any of this.”

“John, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

“I hate that quote.”

“But it’s true!” Alexander stood up, leaning across the table to gently pinch John’s cheek, “Agree with me.”

“I agree with you.” John rolled his eyes, flushing a little bit at Alexander touching him. Alexander took his hand away, “So we have a deal?”

John pursed his lips, “Alex, this could absolutely ruin the fragile balance between Hercules and I.”

“Or it could improve it.” Alexander tapped his temple with his index finger. He cocked an eyebrow.

_God, how John hates admitting that Alexander is correct._

“Fine.” John deadpanned, “But there’s a chance I’ll chicken out at the last second.”

“Yay! We’re all gonna look so cute.” Alexander exclaimed. He leaned over the table – again – to press a kiss to John’s cheek, grabbing his hands and scrunching his nose. John’s heart pounded. “You’re the best.”

John rolled his eyes, whispering under his breath, “I know.”

* * *

“I don’t know, Pegs,” John is laying on his back, staring up at his ceiling as his phone is tucked between his head and his shoulder, tossing a partially used eraser up in the air, “It’s kind of dumb. Hercules and I were best friends and now I’m pining over him like some, what 16-year-old?”

“Excuse me!” Peggy exclaimed, “I am a 16-year-old and I find your tone very offensive.”

John snorted, continuing to throw the eraser up in the air, “Sorry. But honestly? Agree with me. What Alexander is trying to do is ridiculous and will never work.”

“I think it’s sweet,” John rolled his eyes. “I mean, he clearly cares about your happiness! That’s gotta count for somethin’, right?”

“Yeah, obviously, but Alexander is asking Gilbert! Fucking Gilbert-too-many-names-Lafayette! And I like Alex too, Pegs,” John caught his eraser, throwing it onto the floor next to his bed, “I’m so fucking confused.”

“I told you about polyamory, J.” Peggy murmured, “Does that sound like something you’re interested in at all?”

“I mean,” John thought back to the information Peggy had given him. It wasn’t much, but he did enjoy the thought of it. “Yeah.”

John also briefly remembers Alexander explaining something similar, too. But he said that he wanted it between himself, Hercules and Lafayette. No John added into that equation in the slightest, “So? What’s so confusing?”

“What if Herc is monogamous? There’s...a slight chance that Alex isn’t, but,” John sighed, “Besides, I’m getting ahead of myself. Alexander and I are _friends_ and that’s all we’ll ever be. Hell, Hercules and I are less than friends and that’s all we’ll ever be.”

“Don’t be so negative!” Peggy exclaimed. John could see her roll her eyes, “You gotta try! You miss 100% of the shots you d—,”

“Oh my God!” John groaned. He grabbed his phone and turned it on speaker, plopping it on the bed next to his side, “Not you, too.”

“What?”

“Alexander literally said the same exact thing to me today.” John rolled his eyes. Peggy giggled and John stayed silent until she was quiet. He kept his voice soft, “Should I go for it? Hercules, I mean.”

Peggy paused. She began to think, genuinely think. She’s a good friend in that regard. If you want actual advice, she’ll give it to you. She’s like her sisters in that way, really.

“Yeah.” Peggy finally said, “I think you should. If Hercules doesn’t like you, so what? Focus on your undying love for Alexander. If Alex dates Laf? Oh well. You’re going to Uni soon, Jacky! Life’s too short.”

John hummed, rubbing his eyes, “I guess you’re right.”

“You guess? You know I’m right.”

John snorted and Peggy laughed as well. “How will I do it?”

“How will you ask him?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah,” Peggy paused, “Herc isn’t a very loud guy. He’s more kept to himself. I don’t...I don’t think asking him in front of school will be a good idea.”

John laughed, “Pegs, do you actually think I would ever do something loud and dramatic? I can’t present a project without my heart booking a plane ticket to Canada.”

“Guess so,” Peggy tapped her fingers against the back of her phone, “Take him out to coffee or something? He’s pretty mellow and soft in that regard, right?”

“Kinda. He was,” John bit his tongue, “Would bringing him to our old hangout place be, like, too obvious and cliche?”

“Probably,” John rolled his eyes and laughed, “But it’d be cute.”

“Would it?” John bit his lip, “Gah, just thinking about it is making me want to puke.”

“Keep the puke in, lover boy,” Peggy mumbled, “You’ve got this.”

“Do I?”

“You do,” Peggy paused, “And remember, if he says no, it’s not the end of your life.”

John closed his eyes and breathed through his nose, “I know.”

“Good.” There was a quiet yell from Peggy’s end, “Ah, dinner. I’ll text you later, alright? Until then, overplan your date with Hercules.”

“It isn’t a date! I didn’t even speak to him yet.”

“Well, text him!” Peggy said. Before John could get another word in, Peggy hung up the phone. John listened to the soft beep of the call ending. John opened his eyes, staring up at his ceiling. At the faded glow-in-the-dark stars.

There’s nothing to lose.

Besides his dignity but, in all honesty, that’s long gone.

John grabbed at his phone, quickly unlocking it and closing the phone screen – he hit 2 hours with Peggy today. Not as good as their old calls but they’re getting there.

John pulled open Alexander’s text screen, sighing.

_**John: Alright. I’m gonna 100% do it. I need your help, though.** _

_**Alex!: NO WAY REALLY?** _

_**John: Yeah** _

_**John: You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, right?** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter 3 times and I still don't really like how it came out but, hey, shit happens.  
> Also-also, you can find me here if you ever wanna talk:  
> Twitter: Moderndodie (i cry A LOT about Hamilton and Daveed Diggs. A lot.)  
> Tumblr: Moderndodie (just shit posts, rlly. I don't make my own posts there.)  
> SSSSO YES. I'll follow u back just,,, ask me.  
> Anyways, how'd you like it? *finger guns* i have such a soft spot for Peggy if u couldn't tell


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John grows a pair of balls and then somewhat loses them again.

Note: Whenever I describe the Schuyler sisters Im imagining them as Jasmine, Renee and Pippa. I’m using every person from the original cast. I love everyone in Hamilton now but I feel like everyone IS imagining Alexander as Lin, Hercules as Oak, etc etc etc.

 

_**Alex!: ok, so here’s what ur not gonna do:** _

_**AlexAlex!: ur not gonna ask him over text** _

_**John: :,,,,,(((( why not** _

_**John: I’m literater over text** _

_**Alex!: Literater?** _

_**Alex!: Babe pls** _

_**Alex!: That’s not a word. I worry for u** _

_**Alex!: ANYWAYS** _

_**John: I cant speak in front of herc my palms get all sweaty n i get rlly nervous** _

_**Alex!: U GOTTA WOMAN UP, LAURENS** _

_**Alex!: now stop typing and listen to me** _

John bit the pad of his thumb as Alexander gave him ‘flirting advice’. It was mostly random pickup lines that Alexander would only be able to pull off because he’s super freaking cute. But John? No. He’d just come across as...well, _John_.

_**Alex!: if ur not gonna use bad pick up lines then we’re shit out of luck.** _

_**Alex!: 99% of my vocabulary is shitty pick up lines.** _

_**John: >:(((** _

_**John: I NEED HELP** _

_**John: IT’S UR FAULT IM DOING THIS** _

_**Alex!: UGGGGGGGH fine okay.** _

_**Alex!: Call me.** _

John huffed, clicking on Alexander’s contact info and pressing call without warning him. Alexander immediately declined, causing John to furrow his eyebrows in irritation. He was about to text Alexander to tell him to ‘fucking answer’ but soon there was an incoming FaceTime call.

John answered it, laying on his stomach. He glared at Alexander as soon as he could see the boy’s face, “I don’t date.”

“Really? Had no idea.” Alexander muttered sarcastically. He rolled his eyes and snorted, “Anyways, babe, we have to figure this out for your mentality.”

“Why do you keep calling me babe?” John asked, releasing a shaky breath. He pressed one of his palms against his eyes.  
“I don’t know,” Alexander said, “Anyways, what were you planning? Were you planning anything at all?”

“Well, I was talking to Peggy,” John laid his phone down, making the camera face the ceiling. It absolutely takes away the point of FaceTiming but oh well, “And she told me that I should go for it. I trust her more than you—,”

“Hurtful.”

“-Like I was saying, I trust her more than you because she isn’t doing this for her own selfish gain,” Alexander snorted, “And I brought up that Hercules and I – alone – could go to the little restaurant we used to always go to but Peggy said that it was really cheesy and cliche. I mean, it is, but would Hercules be totally against that?”

“The guy’s a big sap,” Alexander said, “He might appreciate it.”

“I don’t want a ‘might’, Alexander. I want a 100% guaranteed.”

“Well, I can’t give you that anyways. There’s always a slight chance that Hercules will say no,” John stiffened. Even over FaceTime and not being able to see John, Alexander noticed, “I doubt he will, though. You’re irresistible.”  
“Shut up, Alex. Keep flirting with me and I’ll fall in love with you.”  
_Oh, irony._

“That’s the goal,” Alexander joked. John still couldn’t help but feel giddy. He’s falling in love with his best friend, for fuck sakes. “Anyways, I agree with the cheesy thing. Peggy and I can go undercover and wear fake moustaches to spy on your date.”

“No you will not,” John hissed. “I won’t tell you where I’m going.”

“Just to make sure things’re going okay!” Alexander exclaimed. John looked at his phone as Alexander closed FaceTime, John now unable to see him.

“What are you doing?” John asked suspiciously.

“I’m texting Peggy.”

“Oh my God! I didn’t even ask Hercules to go out to dinner with me – just, chill!” John played with his fingers, “What if he thinks I’m weird when I ask him if only the two of us can hang out? He’ll probably laugh in my face.”

“Hercules? Hercules Mulligan?” Alexander asked. He soon came back to FaceTime just in time for John to see Alexander raise his eyebrows, “Are we talking about the same Hercules?”

John bit his lip. He won’t tell Alexander about the stuff that had happened earlier but, logically, Alexander is right. Hercules is nice to people who are nice to him – if anything, Herc will let him down as gently as possible.

Or not.

That’s always a possibility, too.

“I guess,” John sighed dramatically, “So...I’ll just ask him at lunch?”

“Ask him when no one is around,” Alexander said.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to get second hand embarrassment,” Alexander answered. John scoffed, “I don’t do well with seeing other people ask people out! It makes me feel awkward.”

“Fine, Alex,” John chuckled, “Alright...well, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”  
“Hell yeah you will.”

* * *

“Maybe you’re making a big deal out of this.” Peggy walked side-by-side with John, her looking up at him with a raised eyebrow. They sat together on the bus and all John did was speak to Peggy in a hushed, panicked voice. “It’s only a Halloween dance, Jack. It could be worse! Like, I dunno, prom?”

“It feels like prom!” John muttered, “Like, the dance is in two weeks, I don’t know what I’m going to wear, and I have to ask out my old-best-friend-to-enemy-to-friend-to-crush.”

Peggy blinked at John’s words, shaking her head, “You don’t have to.”

“Well...well I want to.”

Peggy smiled, squeezing John’s arm, “I’m here if you need a shoulder to cry on if he rejects you. I’m also here to celebrate with if he says yes.”

“What if he says ‘maybe’?” John pursed his lips. “That’s a worse fate than no.”

Peggy giggled, shaking her head as Alexander rushed up to both of them, wrapping his arms around John for a quick hug. John blushed a little bit and Peggy raised her eyebrows rapidly, “My baby is asking out my other baby to a cheesy dinner. I’m so excited!” Alexander pulled away, patting John’s shoulder softly, “How’re you feeling?”

“Nervous as all hell.” John said honestly, looking at Alexander, “Peggy has been dealing with my bullshit.”

“I’m happy to help!” Peggy chimed, smiling brightly. “Hey, Alex, you bringing anyone to the dance?”

“Are _you_?” Alexander asked, raising an eyebrow.

Peggy scoffed, “No. Everyone in this school sucks.”

“God! You’re so edgy.” Alexander cooed, “I remember being your age.”

Peggy scrunched her nose up at Alexander, shaking her head and looking at the ground, “ _Shut up, oh my god._ ”

Alexander laughed, “And I’m asking Lafayette in case you’re actually curious.”

John raised his eyebrow. Alexander really isn’t shy or cautious about telling people who he likes. John wishes he was that carefree in that sense, “Gilbert,” Peggy hummed. She snorted, “You like him?”

“What’s not to like?” Alexander said.

“Well, he’s kinda cocky and arrogant, yeah?” Peggy spoke slowly, “Kinda reminds me of Tjeff.”

“Obviously he reminds you of fucking Tjeff the two suck each others’ dicks so fucking often,”Alexander muttered, rolling his eyes. Peggy and John looked at Alexander with wide eyes, “Uh, not literally!”

“Oh,” Peggy released a loud breath, “Good. That would’ve been weird. Two people who are, like, _basically twins_ in appearance sucking each others’ dick.”

“Now I’m uncomfortable.” John announced as they turned a corner. As soon as they did John’s eyes landed on Hercules and he squeaked, grabbing onto his friend’s arms, “So...”

“Just go up and ask him!” Peggy beamed.

“Not around me.” Alexander added.

John bit the inside of his lip, looking at Alexander. “Why are you not freaking out about Lafayette?”

“Because Laf and I are not hopeless romantics. I’m just gonna ask him at lunch to go with me. No need for a sentimental thing,” Alexander responded. He rubbed John’s arm softly, “You got this. Go get your man.”

Peggy beamed, sending John a thumbs up. “I love you! Deep breaths. I have to go to my locker before class but text me and tell me how things go.”

“Wait!” John whispered before Peggy walked away, “When should I ask him to go to the restaurant? Tomorrow?”

“Friday.” Peggy nodded.

“Friday,” John repeated, “Alright! I got this.”

“Hell yeah you do!” Peggy kissed John’s cheek, waving goodbye as she walked away. John turned to look at Alex who sent him a soft smile.

“Good luck.”

“I hate you.”

“Of course.” Alexander grinned widely, turning away and going in the same direction as Peggy. John shook his head, taking a shaky breath.

It’s now or never.

John likes Hercules – there’s no declining it. If John spends his whole life contemplating telling him and never actually doing it, a lot of his life will go to waste. If Hercules doesn’t like him? Oh well. John can...move on. It’s easy.

_Totally easy_ .

John made his way to where Hercules stood. He’s with Aaron (no Martha or Dolley) at Aaron’s locker. John opened his, staying silent as he listened to Hercules and Aaron’s conversation about English class.

“Seriously I have no idea what to do for the essay,” Hercules muttered. John peeked over and saw Hercules roll his eyes.

“It’s just about global warming. Does it exist? Does it not?”

“Well, yeah,” Hercules huffed, “But, like...why?”

Aaron shrugged, looking up at Hercules, “I don’t know.”

“Of course you don’t. You’re probably still juggling between yes and no.” Hercules sighed.

John bit his lip, turning to look at Hercules, “Hey, erm...I could help you with the essay if you want...? My English teacher already made us do it.”

Not a lie.

The Global Warming essay was finished and passed in last week. He doesn’t know much about it, and he’s not Alexander when it comes to English class, but this is a better way to get Hercules to go out to dinner with him than ‘go out with me so I can ask you something that could make or break my whole school experience.’

“Really?” Hercules asked. Aaron looked between the two of them, smirked slightly, and patted Hercules’ chest.

“I’m going to class. See you later.”

“Alright,” Hercules watched as Aaron walked away and Hercules turned back to John, “Are you sure?”

“Totally.” John grinned, “I don’t have much to do...uh, say tomorrow? Maybe?”

That’s actually a lie. He has a load of homework that he didn’t finish yet. Most if it is History and he has an art project to do, too. But this is more important right now.

Not really, but John is a teenager.

“Tomorrow is good.” Hercules nodded slowly, “Where? Here? The library?”

“You know that restaurant we used to go to?”

“Betty’s?”

“Yeah,” John bit his lip, “There?”

“Sure.” Hercules smiled down at John, “That works. What time?”

John gulped, “Right after school? Around dinner? I don’t...mind. Whenever.”

John’s heart is pounding and he can feel his face burning. He’s not even doing anything significant right now, just asking Hercules to go to a dinner for what Hercules is going to assume to be help on an essay.

Which it will be...

But they’re going to be alone. Together. And John is going to as Hercules to a dance.

_Together._

“Will 5 work? I have to go home tomorrow to, like, clean my room and shit.”

“5 works!” John smiled, biting down on his lip. His heart is pounding.

“Awesome. Thanks,” Hercules grinned at John. He paused, “You’re 100% sure you’re okay with this?”

“Mhm.” John nodded gently. “Of course.”

Hercules reached out and patted John’s shoulder, sending the boy one more thankful glance before turning away and walking down the hallway. John released a shaky sigh, pressing his back against his locker and closing his eyes.

It’s now or never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I wrote this at 7am whilst being half asleep  
> 2\. I didn't proof read it  
> 3\. JOHN AND HERCULES  
> 4\. I don't know who I would pair Peggy w/? She probably won't have a s/o, might make her aro, but if there's anyone (besides Maria) you wanna see Peggy with, hmu. (I was thinking Sally but maybe not.)  
> 5\. I feel like this is a given but every person in this story are referenced after the original cast,,,I didn't realize how big of a difference the original vs current broadway really IS until I saw the current Hercules and I was like 'NO WAIT' so,,,yeah.  
> THAT'S ALL. HOPE U ENJOYED.  
> COMMENTS R DOPE. SO ARE YOU.  
> MAY YOU BE BLESSED WITH LUCK ON YOUR FINALS & HAPPINESS


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has a lil chat with Alexander and Peggy and goes to dinner with Hercules.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any errors I wrote this at 8am after not sleeping for 24 hours lMAO  
> I'm unhealthy. Go to bed at a reasonable time.

“So you’re telling me that instead of explaining your intentions so Hercules could at least prep himself slightly, you...just...told him you’d help him with his English homework?” Alexander asked. He blinked in slight annoyance at John’s dumb rabbit hole.

John nodded quickly, looking between Peggy and Alexander. He wanted to tell the two of them together so they all decided to go to the library. Alexander said that he’s leaving soon (to ask Lafayette, something he hasn’t done yet). “Yes.”

“I think it’s a genius.” Peggy commented. John sent her a wide, thankful smile and nodded in her direction.

“Peggy gets me.”

Alexander rolled his eyes, “You saved yourself from the awkwardness and suspense. Now I have to just walk up to Lafayette in the middle of the cafeteria, around Hercules, Dolley, Aaron and Martha and...fucking ask him! Oh my God,” Alexander actually looked nervous for once. “He could say no.”

“People have the ability to say that word, yeah,” Peggy bit into one of her chips that she has on her lap, hiding them from sight. You’re not allowed to eat in the library but damn Peggy if she isn’t going to try to.

“I’m not used to that word.” Alexander scrunched his nose, “People usually agree to date me. Or agree to what I ask or say. I’m charming in that way.”

_Yeah. John knows._

“It’ll be fine. Do I have to give you the same pep talk I gave to John?” Peggy asked.

“No! That pep talk did not work. He found a loop hole.”

“I still have to ask, Alex.” John rolled his eyes, tucking a piece of hair that escaped his ponytail behind his ear. “And I am not looking forward to it.”

“You’re probably going to find a loop hole for this, too.” Alexander pursed his lips. He began to tap his fingers on top of the table, jiggling his legs, “Well, I’m gonna go do it now or else my whole life will come crashing down before me.”

“Good luck!” Peggy squeaked, disrupting the silence of the library, earning a harsh ‘sh’ from the librarian. Peggy repeated it again, softer, “Good luck!”

“Thank you.” Alexander played with his fingers, “I’ll need it.”

“You’re on fire, baby!” John joked, grinning as Alexander winked at John, rushing out of the library. As soon as he left, Peggy flipped, facing John with narrowed eyes.

“Why do you not care that Alexander, someone who you also like, is asking Lafayette, someone you really don’t like, to the dance?”

John shrugged, “I...I don’t know? I mean, I’m asking Herc, Alexander is his own ma—,”

“Yeah. Duh,” Peggy cut him off, “But you want to date Hercules and Alexander. Both. At the same time. Together.”

“That’s kinda selfish, yeah?”

“Of course it is! But you’re not, I dunno, upset at all?”

“I mean, sure,” John shrugged. “I’m kinda sad that I could be losing my chance at dating two people I really, really like at once but then again no? Alexander likes Hercules too but he’s going out of his way to ask – and go after – someone besides Lafayette for _my_ sake. M’not gonna be bitter about it, y’know?”

Peggy smiled, patting John’s hand softly. “Alright, good. So you’re okay?”

“Perfect. Nervous, yes, but perfect otherwise.”

“100%?”

“I mean, listen, I’m a teenager.” John shook his head, “So no. There’s still some anxiety that comes with being around Lafayette and Hercules together and there’s also the fear of Alexander leaving me or me fucking up like I did with you and your sisters. I’m trying, though, as hard as I can. Slowly but surely I’ll – hopefully – get over everything and become friends with everyone again.” John took a soft breath, looking at Peggy, “How’re you? Are you doing okay?”

Peggy is the ‘helper’. She gives great advice and acts extremely happy so no one really seems to stop and ask Peggy ‘hey, how’re you doing?’. John finds himself dumping so much crap on Peggy but never asking her anything in return. She seems fine, yeah, but John also mastered the art of ‘pretend everything is okay’ at her age.

“Yeah.” Peggy nodded, “I mean, there’s still stuff with my dad but otherwise? I’m fine.”

Right. Philip Schuyler.

He’s very fond of his daughters. Well, Eliza and Angelica at least. He tends to ignore Peggy a lot, giving his daughters a bunch of attention/buying them a bunch of things without baring Peggy in mind at all. He boasts about ‘my daughters Angelica and Eliza’ but never, ever Peggy.

She’s grown used to it – said it’s been this way her whole life – but that’s the main reason Angelica and Eliza are so bent on making Peggy feel loved. Because their dad doesn’t really give that love to her.

Peggy says that he isn’t doing it on purpose and that she doesn’t hold it against him in any way. John still feels bad for her, though.

“You sure?” John drilled, “You can tell me anything.”

“I’m sure.” Peggy beamed, “Don’t worry ‘bout it. What’re you gonna be for the dance?”

John shrugged, huffing. “I don’t know. I was probably gonna be a pirate or something.”

“You would look cute as a pirate,” Peggy beamed. “You’d also look cute in, say, some sort of couple costume with Herc.”

“We aren’t a couple,” John said firmly. “If he says yes we’re just going as...like, a date. Nothing else. No couple labels.”

Peggy hummed, raising her eyebrow and shaking her head, “I’m going as Belle. From, like, Beauty and the Beast.” She bounced up and down, “’Cause she’s one, my favourite and two, she wears yellow. Eliza is going as Cinderella and Angelica is going as Aurora.”

John nodded softly, “Speaking of Angelica and Eliza,” He began. Peggy raised her eyebrow, “Wasn’t she going to as Laf to the dance?”

“Huh? No.” Peggy shook her head. “She said she was going to go with him if they didn’t find someone to go with.”

_Well. Oops._

“Besides, Liz is gay.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah. She’s really open about it to. She—she literally wore a shirt yesterday that said ‘born this gay’.” Peggy snorted, “She likes Maria.”

“Maria? Washington? The principal’s daughter?”

“Mhm.” Peggy nodded, “I shouldn’t be telling you this at all but Eliza has had a huge crush on her for, like, a year now. The pining was cute at first but it’s so frustrating now.”

“Hm. Damn.” John whistled lowly. “Weird how much you miss when you stop talking to people.”  
Peggy smiled and shrugged, “You have to talk to them more and rekindle the friendship. I miss all of us going to the mall and gossiping about people we like. Sure, you and I do this now—,”

“You don’t like anyone.”

“Well, no, but I like inserting myself into other people’s business.”

John shook his head, smiled, “Maybe.”

***

Friday came and John was sitting by himself at the restaurant. He didn’t want to be too late so he decided to come a half an hour earlier than the two had scheduled. He just doesn’t want to seem rude. And, sure, this may seem a bit too eager but John could quite literally care less.

Hercules soon walked through the door and John’s heart flipped. He looks amazing despite only wearing a black t-shirt, long jacket and a hat. He’s carrying some books in his hand and there’s a bag on his shoulder. He looked around for a second, eyes settling on John. Hercules sent John a smile, walking over to him.

Honestly, John felt as if he was going to melt.

“Hey,” Hercules greeted, sitting down. John gulped, drawing patters in his thigh, “Thank you for this, seriously. I know I said this like fifty times yesterday and today but...you didn’t have to do this.”

“I want to. Gotta...rekindle things?” John joked, clearing his throat as Hercules smiled widely at him.

“Hell yeah we do,” Hercules agreed, leaning down to grab his laptop out of his bag. At this moment in time, John was only thinking about two things:  
_I kissed this boy, I kissed this boy, I kissed this boy._

And...

_I’m going to ask out this boy, I’m going to ask out this boy, I’m going to ask out this boy._

It’s driving him insane.

“Alright,” Hercules opened his laptop, turning it on. He looked at John, their eyes connecting for a split second before John forced himself to look down. “So...I know what my answer is: it’s yes. I’m hoping you had the same answer...?”

“I did.”

“Good,” Hercules cleared his throat, typing in his laptop’s password quickly, “So, why? Why does it exist? That’s literally the only thing I’m confused about.”

“How do you know it’s real if you don’t know how?” John asked, raising an eyebrow and cocking his head to the side. He has a soft smile playing on his face.

Hercules shrugged, “I don’t know? Isn’t the arctic melting?”

“Mhm,” John nodded, “Arctic ice sheets are decreasing in mass and oceans are getting warmer. That’s a sign. They can be two separate examples, too, if you want.”

“Cool,” Hercules paused, “well, not cool, since the world is dying as we know it but...you know.”

John grinned, shaking his head and looking down, “I know.”

This continued on, Hercules writing down the things John told him (and occasionally coming up with his own after ranking his brain for a little while). Hercules would complain loudly whenever he had to find a reliable source for things they didn’t even look up.

John ordered for Hercules when the waitress came over, going with the thing Hercules always used to get when they came here.

Everything felt at ease.

Everything felt like it used to.

Except...there’s a possibility John can ruin this ease for good.

“Can you check this over? See if it’s good?” Hercules asked, taking a bite of his chicken fettuccine.

John nodded, about to drag the laptop over to him so he could see the screen. Hercules panicked, grabbing John’s arm tightly, “It’s dying.”

“Right. Sorry,” John apologized quickly, sliding the laptop back to Hercules. John gulped, scooting his chair over. He’s sitting right next to Hercules now, their shoulders touching. John’s heart is pounding.

His eyes glided along the screen but he could hardly read it.

He has to ask Hercules soon.

Old best friend, old enemy, back to...well, friend-ish.

“It’s...good.” John squeaked. He bit down on his lip, pointing at the screen (but not touching it), “You should’ve used a comma there, though, instead of multiple ‘and’s’.” John looked at Hercules, holding his breath. Hercules was already looking at him. He peeked at the screen for a second and then nodded.

“Okay.”

They wrapped into silence, the two of them staring at each other for an uncomfortable amount of time. John’s heart feels like it’s about to escape his chest and John is wondering if Hercules is ever going to turn back to his laptop and fix his mistake or not.

He doesn’t. Not yet.

Hercules’ eyes darted down quickly to John’s lips and this feels all too familiar. It’s like that party but without all of the alcohol, apologizing, and panic attacks. (However, John can kind of feel one coming on and it doesn’t feel nice.)

John could hear Hercules gulp, his eyes darting down to John’s lips one more time, as if asking for an invitation to kiss him. John released a loud breath, blowing hot air over Hercules’ lips. John’s eyes looked down at Hercules’, too, and Hercules was soon leaning in.

Out of blind panic, John laid his hand on Hercules’ shoulders, pushing him away slightly before Hercules could kiss him. Hercules looked both confused and wounded, lips pursed together as John squeaked out, “Go to the dance with me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *finger guns*  
> sorry for not updating yesterday i!! like never update on Fridays. It’s a thing.  
> Anyways,,,,, they were abt to kiss,,,  
> but theY DID NOT.  
> AND ALSO CLIFFHANGER????? AHH!! LOUD SCREAMING!!  
> comments r appreciated. Love u guys lots  
> Also this chapter made me do research on Global Warming. Scary shit. The earth is fuckedt


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander is a goddamn chicken and John is on top of the world.

Hercules stared at John, silent for way too long for John’s comfort. He released a loud snort, looking down and shaking his head, “Really, Laurens?” He asked. Hercules raised an eyebrow in amusement. John flushed bright red.

He’s completely embarrassed himself – hey, let’s push this super attractive guy away before you kiss him for the first time (sober) and ask him out to a dance...before you kiss him! He should’ve fucking kissed him first and then asked. Or not asked at all.

“Yes?” John squeaked out. He lowered his eyes from Hercules face, staring down at his fingers that’re threaded together. His leg bounced up and down quickly, “You can say no, though. Obviously. Like it was dumb for me to propose that—I don’t know. I just thought—,”

“John.” Hercules grabbed both of John’s hands, squeezing them. “Yes.”

“What?” John raised his eyes again, looking at Hercules. He was half expecting Hercules to laugh, push John down and say ‘no’ as Alexander, Lafayette, Peggy, and everyone else came out with hidden cameras yelling ‘YOU JUST GOT PRANKED’.

Thank God that didn’t happen.

“Yes.” Hercules repeated, chuckling at John’s embarrassment at confusion.

“Seriously?” John blinked slowly, looking up at Hercules through his eyelashes. His cheeks are flushed bright red.

“Seriously.”

“Oh. Wow.” John released a thankful breath, “Wow. Okay. Wow.”

“Are you gonna say ‘wow’ one more time?” Hercules teased, squeezing John’s hands again.

“Sorry.” John gulped. He bit down on his bottom lip and the two of them looked at each other for a few seconds. John wasn’t sure if they were going to go in for the kiss again – didn’t feel like it. John was perfectly content just...looking at Hercules.

John’s phone soon buzzed and he broke the moment to look down at it, eyebrows furrowing.

_**Pegleg: WHY DIDNT YOU KISS HIM ARE YOU FUCKIGN DUMB** _

John’s eyes widened, head whipping around the restaurant. “What’s wrong?” Hercules asked, releasing John’s hands and looking around as well.

“I think Peggy and Alexander are here.” John replied, voice soft.

“Why?”

“Peggy just texted me and asked me why we didn’t kiss.”

“Yeah. Why didn’t we kiss?” Hercules grinned. He didn’t seem bothered. John isn’t either – at least they didn’t interfere – but goddamn how did they find out the name of this restaurant?

“Because I talk when I get nervous?” John suggested. He released a breathy laugh.

“That must be it.” Hercules leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to John’s cheek. It wasn’t a lot but it was enough to leave his stomach fluttering helplessly, “Now, help me edit this? I was too distracted by you to hear what you said.”

John scrunched his nose, smiled, and scooted closer to Hercules.

* * *

“One, I can’t believe you stalked me.” John began, eyes narrowing at Peggy and Alexander who instantly followed him out of the restaurant and waited for Hercules to leave before hounding John with a lot of questions. “Two, I can’t believe you sat there for, like, two hours as we talked about Global Warming,” John turned to Alexander, pointing a finger, “Three, I can’t believe you chickened out of asking Lafayette out.”

“Sitting through the Global Warming learning was very, very worth it to see those few minutes of sexual tension.” Alexander began, walking next to John. Peggy is on John’s other side, “Seriously. You guys were practically on fire.”

“You’re avoiding number three.” John rolled his eyes – face still red. He can’t believe that happened. He almost kissed Hercules (SOBER) and Hercules agreed to go to the dance with him. His life is surreal. Seriously. Everything feels like a really odd dream.

“Of course I am!” Alexander huffed.

“You lied to me!” John pouted, “You told me you asked him and he said yes! I was so excited.”

“But I was for sure you were going to chicken out.” Alexander confessed, shaking his head and looking down. “I dunno. I couldn’t do it! I was so sure that I was confident. I was going to walk straight up to him, stare him in the eyes and say ‘Me. You. Halloween dance.’ but nope. I walked up to him and my throat went so dry I stopped talking. ME! I stopped talking.”

“You must really like him then.” Peggy commented, looking at Alexander.

“I really like a lot of people.” Alexander muttered. Peggy and John raised an eyebrow, “What? I have a lot of love to give. Anyways,” He cleared his throat, “I didn’t realize how beautiful Lafayette was until that moment.”

Peggy smiled gently at Alexander. She leaned across John as they walked, rubbing his arm softly. “You have to ask him before someone else does. ‘Cause, hell yeah, Lafayette is gorgeous. It’s only a matter of time.”

“What if I’m too late?”

“Do you think he would have told you if he had a date?” John asked softly. He doesn’t like to see Alexander scared/anxious over anything. Alexander is usually a ball of activity and ‘I don’t give a fuck’.

“Dunno. Laf and I don’t speak much about that stuff.” Alexander pursed his lips.

“Well, ask him.” John said, “I mean, it wasn’t as terrible as I thought it’d be.”

“That’s because you two almost made out split seconds before you asked him.” Alexander laughed, pushing John’s shoulder. John stumbled, hitting into Peggy who snorted.

“Life just works out like that sometimes.” John skipped a little. He’s happy. He’s actually, for once in his pathetically sad life, happy.

“Ask him tonight.” Peggy suggested, “Over text.”

“No! That’s no fair. Alexander’s one rule for me was to not ask him over text!” John whined.

“Rules don’t apply to me.” Alexander rushed.

“Make it more personal. Suck his dick before hand, I dunno! Don’t ask him over text. No fair.” John pouted, looking over at Alexander.

Alexander raised his eyebrow, “Hm...the dick option seems good.”

John rolled his eyes and laughed. Of course he would make a comment about that.

“Hey, I’d suck Lafayette’s dick.” Peggy commented. She earned a harsh glare from Alexander. “What? He’s practically carved from Jesus himself.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to walk around and talk about my man like that.”

“He isn’t gonna be your man if you don’t grow a pair of balls and ask him out.” Peggy commented. She crossed her arms over her chest, “And that also means no Lafayette dick sucking. Tragic.”

Alexander rolled his eyes. Laughed. “Fine. I’ll ask him...erm, Monday. I swear.”

“Tomorrow.” John looked at Alexander. Narrowed his eyes.

“Tomorrow?” Alexander frowned, “Really?”

“Yes! By Monday he could be taken.”

Alexander rolled his eyes. He sighed. “Fine.”

* * *

Lafayette sat on the edge of Thomas Jefferson’s bed, the two of them on their phones in silence. They had recently made up over the whole ‘Lafayette kissing James’ scandal and are pretty close again. Not as close as they were, sure, but they’re getting there again.

Thomas absolutely refuses to leave James alone with Lafayette, though. Not that Lafayette blames him.

“So,” Thomas raised an eyebrow, “The dance. Who’re you going with?”

Lafayette pursed his lip and shrugged. He leaned back against Thomas’ purple wall. “I do not know.” He said – half of him wants to ask Hercules Mulligan, another half of him wants to ask Alexander, and a smaller, _very small,_ part of him wants to ask John Laurens.

“I heard Sally is still looking.” Thomas kept his eyes on Lafayette. “Y’know, my cousin?”

“I know Sally. But she is a 10th grader so no thank you.”

Thomas laughed, shaking his head slowly, “Well, do you have your eyes on someone, then? Girl? Boy? As long as it isn’t Jemmy I could honestly care less.”

“You know why I kissed him, T.”

“Yeah. Cause you thought it was your partner-in-crime, we-suck-each-others’-dicks-in-the-locker-room friend Hercules.”

“We do not suck each others’ dicks.” Lafayette scoffed. Rolled his eyes, “We are friends. That is it.”

“Which makes this pining even more pathetic.”

Thomas is right...and way too honest.

Thomas is an honest person. He states his opinion no matter how brutal it is/no matter how much you don’t want to hear it. He’s persistent, cunning, always right. He’s an asshole, most people would say. An asshole to anyone besides James Madison, of course. The damn guy is the only one who can bring Thomas down from his high horse.

“I know.” Lafayette agreed, “And I was thinking of asking him to the dance.”

“Isn’t Hercules already going with someone?” Thomas asked absentmindedly. He went back to fucking around with something on his phone.

“Not from what I know?” Lafayette paused. He sighed loudly, “Why...? Where did you hear that?”

“Margaret – eh, Peggy Schuyler in the hallways. The little 10th grader? You know her, Eliza’s sister,” Thomas cleared his throat, “She was talking to Alexander Hamilton about Hercules going with John..the freckled one. Your not-friend.”

“He is going with John?” Lafayette frowned.

Seriously?

“Maybe. I don’t know how right Peggy is.” Thomas looked up at Lafayette.

The boy looks defeated, if not a bit annoyed.

He’s been growing fond of John Laurens slowly but surely. He still finds him annoying as all hell and sometimes John just...pisses him off but Lafayette has been learning to care for him a bit more. Hercules is saying he’s okay, Alexander is saying he’s okay, so Lafayette wanted to try.

Then John asks out Hercules to the fucking dance.

Of course.

“Add that onto my list of reasons to hate John Laurens.” Lafayette hit his head on Thomas’ wall.

“You missed your shot man.” Thomas narrowed his eyes at Lafayette, “This doesn’t give you an excuse to make out with my boyfriend again, by the way.”

“I know! One time thing, complete accident.” Lafayette crossed his arms over his chest in annoyance, “Should I ask Alexander Hamilton?”

“The minx?” Thomas snorted, “God...I don’t know how you’re friends with him.”

“He is great.” Lafayette defended softly, “Cute, too.”

“Cute, sure. He’s got a big mouth, too.”

“Hey, big mouths are good for some things.”

Thomas rolled his eyes, kicking Lafayette’s shoulder with his foot.

Lafayette sighed, leaning back against the wall again.

Thomas portrays himself as a terrible guy during school hours. He flirts with everyone as James watches from the side lines (never too effected. He knows that he has Thomas wrapped around his finger), says terrible things just to get rises out of people, walks around as if he owns the place, but...he’s a lot more mellow outside of that.

He’s calm when they’re alone. They gossip like teenage girls about boys they like and about their problems.

Thomas makes Lafayette feel sane. And, sure, Thomas can alter the way Lafayette acts around people (especially during school hours) but being able to spill all of his bullshit onto Thomas as Thomas spills it all back is worth it.

Lafayette’s phone dinged softly. He looked down at it.

_**A dot Ham: Hey :^)) we should do smth tomorrow <333333333** _

_**Lafayette: Like what?** _

_**A dot Ham: I DUNNo. Ice cream????** _

_**Lafayette: Sounds good to me!!! With Herc and John?** _

_**A dot Ham: Nah. By ourselves.** _

_**A dot Ham: If that’s okay?** _

_**Lafayette: 100%** _

Lafayette raised his head, looking over at Thomas, “So,” He spoke softly. Thomas locked his phone, laying it on his stomach as he looked at Lafayette. “Speaking of Alexander Hamilton...”

“What about him?”

“He just texted me and asked me to hang out with him tomorrow to get ice cream. Just the both of us.” Lafayette cleared his throat, “I need your open minded opinion. Ignore all the hate you have towards Alexander: should I ask him to go to to the dance?”

Thomas hesitated before answering, running a hand through his curls, “Yeah.” Thomas nodded, “Guess so. I mean, you like him too, right? Sure, Hercules a bit more, but you also like Alex. Your call, though. Don’t base everything off of me.”

Lafayette sighed loudly, “Dating is so difficult.”

“Can’t relate.” Thomas smiled cheekily, poking Lafayette’s shoulder with his toe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: i hate thomas jefferson i hope he rots  
> someone: yeah same  
> me: HISS HISS HISS  
> ngl if thomas wasnt originally played by daveed and didn’t have such dope songs id probably make him 100% unbearable. Alas, i like him.  
> Not,,,,president him. Not historic home. Like,,,modern au him,,,anyways,,,  
> HERE WAS LAF’S POV-ISH???? IDK!! I wanted to do it.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex grows some balls  
> also, trigger warning: there's a panic attack in this chapter. It isn't detailed at all but it's there and it's mentioned.

“Where are you going?” Alexander was one second away from stepping out the front door, hoping to leave the house without getting questioned by anyone. Alexander sighed loudly, turning to face a very nosy Maria.

“Out with a friend.” Alexander responded, eyes narrowing a little bit. “Why?”

“Because...” Maria trailed off, “No reason. Curious.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Maria rolled her eyes and scoffed. She tapped her bare foot against the floor, running a hand through her curly hair before speaking with a loud sigh, “Fine. I want to go out with my friends but dad grounded me for failing a test.”

“That sounds like a _you_ problem.” Alexander looked down at his phone. If he doesn’t leave now he’s going to be late. Lafayette, if anything, is pretty lenient and doesn’t care too much if people are late to things but Alexander doesn’t care. He wants to ask Laf to the goddamn dance and he doesn’t want to seem like a careless asshole. “So, can I go?”

“No! I need you to cover for me.” Maria’s eyes narrowed.

“No. I’m not staying home, Ria.” Alexander refused, “Where’s Martha and George?”

“Dad is at school and mom is getting groceries.” Maria responded. She bit down on her red lip, “Please, Alex. I do everything for you!”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Alexander pointed an accusing finger at Maria. Maria just rolled her eyes, staring up at the ceiling. “Get Samuel to cover for you.”

“Uh, hell no.” Maria looked at him as if he’d just slaughtered a puppy in front of her. “Samuel? My brother, Samuel? Are you insane! Man has it out for me.”

Alexander rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. He kept it down today (only because Lafayette once told him that he likes how it looks down) and stared at Maria, “Alright, I’m gonna tell you something and if Sam blabs on you, you can use this against him.”

Maria’s eyebrow raised in interest, “I’m listening.”

“A few Fridays ago he was at a party,” Alexander recalled, “Thomas Jefferson’s. I’m friends with Laf – he told me.”

“Huh,” Maria smirked, nodding. “Nice. Thank you.”

“Yeah. Can I leave now?”

“Mhm. You’re free.” Maria waved her hand, turning to walk away.

Alexander called out to her before she could walk upstairs, “Wait! Ria?”

“Yeah?”

“Who’re you going out with today?”

“Erm,” Even though Maria was turned around, Alexander could practically see and hear her smile, “Elizabeth Schuyler.”

With that, Maria made her way upstairs fully, skipping steps. Alexander snorted, shaking his head as he spun around to pull the front door open, stepping out into the sun.

* * *

“You are late.” Lafayette raised an eyebrow playfully, walking up to Alexander and hugging his friend gently. There’s no secret that when Lafayette is around Alexander by himself, he turns into the softest person ever. Alexander finds it amusing – seeing him shift from an easily-irritated hardass to...well, this.

“Sorry. Eh, my...sister needed help with something.” Alexander hesitated. None of his friends know about his personal life, that he’s in a foster home, or that his foster parents are George and Martha. No one knows that Maria, Samuel and Alexander even know one another exists. It’s been hard to keep a secret but he wants to.

“You have a sister?” Lafayette asked, “I did not know that.”

“Yeah. Her names...Ria.” Wasn’t 100% a lie – that’s what Alexander calls her sometimes because apparently ‘Maria’ is a bit too long for him.

“Oh.” Lafayette smiled down at Alexander, the two slowly making their way towards an ice cream stand. It’s slightly chilly out and summer is 100% over now – Halloween is literally in about two weeks – but that won’t stop the two of them from getting ice cream from an ice cream stand that’s, for some reason, still opened.

“Is there a specific reason you wanted us to hang out today?” Lafayette asked, looking down at Alexander quickly. “Or did you just miss me?” He joked, elbowing Alexander’s arm gently. Alexander rolled his eyes. Laughed.

“Shut up,” He shoved Lafayette gently. Alexander waited until he ordered his ice cream – just vanilla – and waited for Lafayette to order his – bubblegum – to answer him. “And, yeah, there’s a reason.” There’s no need to beat around the bush here, honestly.

Yeah, Alexander is nervous that Lafayette might just laugh in his face and decline him without any care in the world. Lafayette has a lot of attractive people into him. Of course he does. Lafayette is one of the most attractive boys in their whole school.

There’s no secret that everyone lusts after him – of course, yippie, Alexander is on that list, too.

He does have the privilege of being Lafayette’s friend, though. Which could all end now.

_It could all end now._

“What is the reason then?” Lafayette raised an eyebrow and licked his ice cream. The two walked side-by-side. Alexander released a deep breath and shook his head.

“I’ll get to that later. Did you ask anyone to the dance yet? Did anyone ask you?” Alexander asked. It’s just as well to get this out of the way. If Lafayette is going with someone, he’s just going to spare himself that embarrassment now.

Lafayette raised his eyebrow – the two of them hardly ever speak about relationships. Their conversations always vary but it usually stays out of the ‘crushing’ category. Still, Lafayette responded, “I was asked a few times.” Lafayette shrugged. Alexander held his breath as Lafayette continued, “I did not say yes to any of them, though. I am not interested and I did not want to lead them on. Besides, most of the people who asked me were 9th graders and, listen,” Lafayette took a deep breath, “I am eighteen. That is gross.”

Alexander giggled and nodded gently in agreement. Most of the people who lust after Lafayette are, yeah, 9th graders. Sure, there are people who are 100% prepared to suck Lafayette’s dick (Alexander, for example) but the 9th graders aren’t ashamed about it. Alexander feels kind of embarrassed for them.

“Ah,” Alexander murmured, “Gross.”

Lafayette nodded in agreement, “What about you?” He asked, “Are you going with anyone?”

“I’m thinking about asking someone.” Alexander responded. Lafayette nodded slightly.

“Who?”

Alexander bit down onto his ice cream and Lafayette cringed – he has no idea how the boy does that. Alexander then raised his eyes. It’s now or never. It’s now or never, “You.”

“Me?”

Lafayette’s eyebrows are furrowed in both shock, confusion, and, well, happiness. Lafayette was always 100% sure that Alexander only liked Hercules. Maybe John a bit. Not himself, though. He never really showed many signs.

Besides, Alexander is an affectionate guy, anyways. He touches and shows emotion towards all of his friends. It's hard to pin.

“Yeah.” Alexander released a loud breath. He looked up at Lafayette, “Sorry for not making it more dramatic. I’m like,” Lafayette took notice that Alex is shaking a little bit, words coming out shaky, “Not good at this stuff.”

“It is okay.” Lafayette soothed. He and Alexander are not the most experienced with romances. The two had hooked up with random people a few times (drunkinly, sometimes not) but they’ve never been in a very serious relationship before or even asked anyone out, “And...yeah. Totally.”

“Really?” Alexander raised his head. He’s still shaking slightly but...he’s super pumped, “Are you sure? You weren’t going to ask anyone?”

“I was going to ask you.” Lafayette murmured honestly. Alexander’s face flushed, “So thanks for asking first.”

“Really?” Alexander breathed out a laugh. Half of him believed what Lafayette was laying down and half of him didn’t. Lafayette, a human _God_ wanted to ask Alexander to the dance? When there are so many other attractive people – boys and girls alike – who would probably be a better person to go along with than Alexander.

“Yeah.” Lafayette looked down. He laughed. “Do not look so shocked.”

“I am.” Alexander admitted, releasing another soft laugh, “Wow.”

“Wow.” Lafayette nodded in agreement. He grinned widely.

Both of them are smiling ear-to-ear – blushy teenagers who like each other a lot.

“So,” Lafayette nudged Alexander gently, “Costumes.”

* * *

You can tell the difference between Hercules/John and Lafayette/Alexander very, very easily.

Hercules and John can’t look at each other without blushing. John catches Hercules’ eyes and giggles, staring down at the table. The two don’t speak to each other, just occasionally peeking glances at each other. Whenever their hands touch, or bodies, in any way they step away from each other, bodies aflame. It’s absolutely adorable.

Lafayette and Alexander, however, are touching each other 24/7. By no means are they actually dating yet, but they can’t keep their hands off of each other. They didn’t officially kiss but they’re soon going to get there. There’s constant dirty jokes put between the two of them and everyone is surprised that they haven’t just fucked yet.

So, Hercules and John are two awkward babies who just...really like each other.

Lafayette and Alexander are gigantic sluts who aren’t ashamed.

“Yeah. I’m going as Minnie and Laf is going as Mickey. It’s going to be amazing.” Alexander said. He’s sitting so close to Lafayette he might as well be in his lap. Alexander looked over at John and Hercules. They’re sitting next to each other but not touching at all, “Are you guys doing, like, matching costumes?”

John and Hercules looked at each other. Hercules spoke, “I don’t think so.”

“No.” John bit his lip harshly, smiling up at Hercules. Hercules smiled back, “We’re just gonna go as whatever.”

“Boring.” Alexander booed, laying his head on Lafayette’s shoulder.

John snorted, looking down at the table as he tapped his fingers against his thigh. Peggy soon trotted into the cafeteria, eyes settling instantly on Lafayette and John. She rushed up to them, pointing a strong finger between them, “You two. With me. Now.”

“Excuse me?” Alexander raised an eyebrow, as if Peggy were speaking to him. “Why?”

“You’ll see why. Someone needs someone.” She rushed, “Erm, come! Now!”

Lafayette and John slowly nodded and rose from their seat. John sent Hercules a shy smile as he rose. Lafayette rubbed Alexander’s arm softly and Alexander sent Lafayette a playful wink. The two followed Peggy out of the cafeteria.

“What’s going on?” Lafayette asked.

“Eliza,” Peggy replied simply.

“Eliza? Why do you need me?” John asked, “You know that Eliza doesn’t like me, right?”

“I know.” Peggy didn’t disagree. “But she’s...panicking real bad. She needs Lafayette there as moral support.” She explained. They made a sharp turn in the hallway, “John, you know what she’s feeling.”

“That doesn’t mean I can coax her out of it.” John gulped, “God, Pegs!”

“Try.” Peggy looked back, eyes pleading, “Please.”

“Why is she panicking?” Lafayette asked. He’s the most worried between he and John. Of course he is. Lafayette and Eliza are super close. Sure, John is worried too, but not nearly as much as Lafayette is.

“She worries herself.” Peggy explained, out of breath as they stopped in front of a female’s bathroom. Lafayette and John sent each other a look, “And she was going to ask someone to the dance but worried herself so much that she literally managed to push herself into a panic attack I—I don’t know how these things work.”

“She’s in a female’s bathroom, Peg.” John said slowly. “We can—,”

And just like that, Lafayette pushed the door open and stepped inside. Peggy shrugged, following after him. John sighed loudly, pushing the door open and walking inside as well.

Eliza is sitting on the ground, Angelica on one side and Lafayette in front of her. John stood, unsure of what to do for a few seconds. He just stared at her, the girl who’s usually so strong sitting on a dirty school floor, gasping for breath.

“John!” Peggy hit John softly, “Please.”

Her voice sounded desperate – scared. John nodded quickly, snapping out of his thoughts, “Move away from her.” He demanded gently. Lafayette sent John a glare and John sent one back harder, “Please. Move from her.”

Angelica obliged which is a first. She usually never listens to anyone.

Lafayette hesitantly agreed as well.

“Okay,” John gulped. He looked at Lafayette, “I’m going to need you to tell her this, too. I doubt she wants to hear my voice, erm,” his hands are shaking. He can hardly ever stop a panic attack himself – how is he supposed to do this? “Tell her to breath in, hold it for three seconds and then release. When she starts calming tell her the same but with six seconds.”

Lafayette slowly nodded, “Can I get closer?”

“Ask her.”

“Can I touch you?” Lafayette asked slowly. Eliza nodded, sniffing, still gasping for breath. “Alright.” Lafayette scooted up, grabbed Eliza’s hands and squeezed them as he counted softly.

John didn’t know what to do besides watch and hope that it works.

Eventually – slowly but surely – Eliza began to come down from her attack. John doesn’t believe that it was 100% her wanting to ask someone to the dance and being too afraid to – it had to be more than that. John didn’t want to interrogate though so he just took Peggy’s word.

Eliza soon began to breath slightly regularly. She would sometimes let out an ugly sob and grasp her chest but otherwise? She was good.

The bell rang and Lafayette stood up, pulling Eliza to her feet. He hugged her gently, kissed her forehead. The two are so close – and it’s also weird to see Lafayette act so caring towards someone. He acts caring towards Alexander, too, but...not in this sense. In a brother/sister way.

“Thank you.” Angelica said genuinely.

“She would’ve calmed down eventually.” John dismissed – he literally did nothing. Had no reason to be here.

“Shut up.” Angelica said. She turned to face her sister, “Let’s get you home. Peggy, you’re staying.”

Peggy rolled her eyes but didn’t disagree.

Lafayette passed Eliza to Angelica and the sisters began towards the door. Eliza paused, reaching out for John’s hand. She squeezed it just a little bit, rubbing her tears with her spare hand before stepping out. Peggy was on their tail.

“Jesus.” Lafayette cursed. He leaned against the sink and John was tempted to remind him that they’re in a girl’s bathroom but it was a tense moment.

“Jesus.” John nodded in agreement.

There was some silence, “You did good.” Lafayette commented, “You went through that stuff too, oui?”

“Mhm.” John scrunched his nose.

“Still?”

“Sometimes.” John admitted and shrugged gently. “I don’t know how to handle myself too well so I tried my best with Eliza.” He shrugged, looking at the door, “We should leave now, though. We’re in the girl’s bathroom.”

“Right.” Lafayette pushed himself off from the sink. John is surprised that they made in this far in a room alone without saying some sort of irritated/salty thing towards each other.

John opened the door, allowing Lafayette to step out first. As soon as the two of them closed the bathroom door, their eyes were face-to-face with a teacher, “Excuse me, why were you two in the ladies room?”

_Shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Brother/Sister bickering between Maria and Alexander.  
> 2\. Maria's nickname (Ria) is pronounced 'Riah' -- obv.  
> 3\. LAF IS GOIN TO THE DANCE W ALEX  
> 4\. john and hercules are so soft around each other i want to cry  
> 5\. eliza didn't just have a panic due to halloween stuff. you'll see eventually.  
> 6\. TIME TO MOVE LAFAYETTE AND JOHN'S STORYLINE ALONG BABYYYY


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go shopping for Halloween costumes and also there's a lot of Boner-Talk.

“We were helping out a friend.” Lafayette said quickly, staring at the teacher. John doesn’t know her name – she’s one of the teachers he’s never had before. John is thankful that Lafayette decided to speak. John is not smooth under pressure, “She needed us and we could not leave her alone.”

The lady narrowed her eyes, “I don’t believe you.”

John knew she wouldn’t. The woman is old, white, has grey hairs. She looks like the type of person who would vote for Donald Trump, pretty much. John knew that the chances of this woman allowing a black, French kid like Lafayette and a Puerto Rican kid like John go was slim.

“Well you should.” Lafayette said. John wasn’t looking at Lafayette but he knew the boy was rolling his eyes.

“Men going to the female’s bathroom is prohibited.” She seems irritated and John sighed. “Come with me to the office.”

“What? No!” Lafayette refused, voice raising, “We did not do anything wrong! We were helping Elizabeth Schuyler. Elizabeth, you know? Good student, straight As, loved by Principal Washington and nearly every single teacher in this school?”

The lady gave Lafayette one more once over and rolled her eyes, “I highly doubt that Elizabeth Schuyler will hang around with a delinquent like you.”

See, this is where you can see Lafayette visibly fuming.

Lafayette dresses amazing – he doesn’t dress in rugged clothes and his clothes look expensive (they are). Laf is a good student and despite some occasional issues he’s never really done anything that could give him a ‘delinquent’ title.

Except for, you know, being black.

“Laf,” John whispered. He didn’t mean to use the nickname – now felt like the best time to do so, though. “Let’s just...go to the office.”

“No!” He hissed, “Do you hear this bitch?”

“Excuse me?” The teacher’s eyes widened. John grabbed Lafayette’s arm tightly.

“Laf. Seriously.” He hissed, “You’re gonna make this worse on yourself.”

“She thinks that she can boss me around because she is old and white? Really?” Lafayette said and if looks could kill? Well the bitch would be dead.

“That is not the case! I will not have men spying on girls on school property!” She hissed. John grabbed onto Lafayette’s arm, squeezing it. Lafayette looked down at him – angry. The anger isn’t towards John for once in his life but it’s still unsettling.

“Let’s just go to the office to explain.” John murmured. The woman’s cold stare was boring into Lafayette and John and it was becoming suffocating.

“I cannot afford another detention, Laurens.”

“We’ll talk through it.” John took his hand away from Lafayette’s arm.

Lafayette scoffed, “As if he will listen to a black delinquent like me, right?”

“Laf,” John whispered. Sighed.

Lafayette, when they were young, always complained about his skin colour. Said he wanted to be at least John’s colour—it was always sad to know that Lafayette was embarrassed/insecure about it.

He’s grown a lot, John can tell, and skin colour is still something that affects him but in different ways now. He seems bolder – louder – more confident in himself and in his ability to call out when authority is going against him directly by his colour.

It’s kind of sad to be hyper aware of that, honestly.

“Fine.” Lafayette scoffed.

The woman smiled smugly, turning to walk towards the office. John and Lafayette followed, side-by-side. John kept his eyes down. Laf kept his eyes up, shoulders square. Like he’s prepared to fight as may people as he can.

They got to Principal Washington’s office, the old lady (who John still doesn’t care enough about to get the name of) walked in. Lafayette and John followed, “Mr. Washington? I hope I’m not interrupting.” She smiled – fake.

“No,” Washington cleared his throat, looking up from the woman. He was doing some sort of paper work – John doesn’t care, though. He just wants to get to class, see Hercules and Alexander again, and go the fuck home. “What is it?”

His eyes settled on Lafayette soon – the boy’s expression is irritated. And then John – he just looks nervous both for himself and for the trouble Lafayette’s mouth will get them in.

“I found these two men walking out of the female’s bathroom right before class.” She pointed towards them, eyes narrowing. “I frankly find it disgusting and inappropriate.”

“Okay.” Washington sighed. He rubbed his eyes softly, “I’ve got this from here.”

“Okay.” With that, the woman walked out of the room, sending John and Lafayette alike a glare – fucking bitch. Washington motioned towards two chairs in front of his desk, “Take a seat.”

John obliged – of course Lafayette had to be stubborn and stayed stood up. “Laf,” John hissed.

Washington raised an eyebrow, “Gilbert,” He looked at John, “John. Am I correct?”

“Yeah.” John rushed.

“Good. Now, why were you in the female’s bathroom?”

Lafayette was about to speak but John raised his shaky hand – he wants to explain this maybe a bit better than Lafayette can. John began speaking before Lafayette had the chance, “Er...Lafayette’s friend Elizabeth Schuyler was panicking really bad. She needed moral support – Lafayette – and she needed someone with...with experience to help her through it so...me. Peggy – er, Margaret Schuyler brought us there. Angelica was there as well if you...need witnesses.”

“Alright...” Washington dragged off, “Okay. But going into a female’s bathroom is off limits no matter the reason.”

“We were not going to let our friend suffer by herself!” Lafayette exclaimed. John winced and sighed loudly.

“Sorry, sir. But with all due respect, and what Laf is trying to say—,”

“Do not tell me what I am trying to say.”

John rolled his eyes a little bit, “What happened is that Margaret needed us. Her and Angelica had no idea what to do. We needed to be there and we weren’t going to force her out into the hallway.”

Washington sighed. He looked up at Lafayette who’s gripping the back of his chair, he spoke up quickly, “Also Miss Bitch is racist.”

Washington’s eyes widened and he raised his eyebrow, “Pardon?”

“Laf!” John whipped his head around. Narrowed his eyes.

“What? I am just saying!”

Washington sighed, “I’ll deal with this.” He stood up slowly.

“Do we have a detention?” John asked hesitantly, gulping.

“No.” Washington said, “But you do have a warning. Now go to class.”

“Thank you!” John rushed, standing up quickly. He grabbed Lafayette’s hand, pulling him out of the office. As soon as they left John pulled his arm back, rubbing his eyes. “Really?”

“What?” Lafayette scoffed.

“You just—you!” John waved his hands, “You can’t lose yourself every time something inconvenient happens.”

“I was not going to stand by, John.” Lafayette muttered.

“She didn’t even do anything racist! Listen, I know you’ve always had insecurities about your sk—,”

“Not to be rude, John,” Lafayette scoffed, “But you’re not allowed to talk about things you don’t know about. You’re light skinned, dude!”

“I know I am.” John bit the inside of his lip, “Sorry. You’re right.”

He doesn’t want to argue – he has no place to argue about it. Sure, John gets lusted after mainly because he’s Puerto Rican but he’s never had someone hate him because of it. He has no place to argue in this.

“Thank you.” Lafayette looked down at John for a few seconds, eyes running across his face before he sighed, “I am going to class.”

“Yeah.” John stepped back, “Me too.”

* * *

“So you want to be a pirate?” Peggy asked John slowly. John, Peggy, Alexander, Hercules, Lafayette, Angelica and Eliza all went to the mall together but somewhere along the lines managed to split up. John ended up with Peggy – go figure.

“Yes.” John said, “I don’t know what else to be. Halloween was never a very strong interest of mine.”

“Boring.” Peggy smiled, nudging John’s arm softly, “But pirate it is. We’re gonna make you a hot pirate so Hercules can hardly breathe when he sees you.”

“I appreciate the efforts but a normal pirate is fine.” John laughed, “I’m not a very seductive person.”

“You’re seductive without trying.” Peggy mentioned. She wiggled her eyebrows, “You’re a hot dude! Stepping it up one notch for Halloween won’t hurt. And if you succeed in giving Hercules a boner? Win!”

“Jesus, Pegs,” John rolled his eyes, blushing. “My goal isn’t to give Herc a boner.”

“I know. You want to get to know him, fall in love, get married, blah.” Peggy mocked playfully, “But giving him a boner will also be kinda cool.”

“No.” John laughed loudly, “Pirate. Normal pirate who will not be inconvenienced by tight pants.”

“Fine.” Peggy nodded her head as the two walked into the costume store. There are a bunch of people there – kids specifically. John could see Eliza and Lafayette from where he stood at the entrance. No one else, though. “Go find your not-sexy pira—...you should wear this.”

John watched as Peggy picked up a costume, turning to face John. John looked at it and sent her a wide-eyed look. It’s a costume that’s literally named ‘Hot Nun’. “Wouldn’t you like this, church boy?” She giggled, “Church Gone Wrong.”

“Oh my God!” He hissed, “No! Peggy are you –,”

“Chill. I was kidding.” She continued to giggle softly, putting the costume back, “Kind of funny to imagine you in it, though.”

“Funny? Shut up. I would look hot.” John flicked his hair, pursing his lips dramatically.

“God. You’re too much.”

John and Peggy smiled brightly at each other, walking more into the store. They met up with Lafayette and Eliza, Lafayette shifting through the costumes to find – John assumes – a Mickey and Minnie couple costume, “The only Minnie costumes have dresses.” Lafayette muttered.

“I feel like Alexander would wear a dress.” Peggy said to Laf, raising an eyebrow, “He’s Alexander.”

“I know. But, still,” Lafayette murmured.

“I don’t think he’d be able to handle that.” Eliza scrunched her nose, nudging Lafayette gently in a playful way.

“Contrary to popular belief,” Lafayette continued wadding through the costumes, “I am capable of controlling myself.”

“I wouldn’t be able to control myself around Alex in a dress,” John murmured absentmindedly, beginning to go through the costumes as well. Peggy, Lafayette, and Eliza’s eyes widened. John looked up, face turning red, “I mean—what? He’s-- shut up. I don’t have to explain myself to you guys.”

Eliza laughed at John – an actual laugh. He managed to get a _laugh out of Eliza._ That made him happier than it should. “I swear, Alexander has all of you wrapped around his finger.”

“He does. Including Herc.” Peggy nodded. “They have it bad for little Alex.”

“He has a way with words.” Lafayette said, crossing his arms over his chest. “And he is cute so win-win situation.”

John nodded softly in agreement – Alexander is adorable and very, very convincing. He speaks as if he knows everything (and he probably does) but even when he’s wrong he sounds right. That, and Alexander being so open with who he is, was one of the things that pushed John towards him in the first place.

“I’m surprised you’re not all dating Alex.” Peggy grinned. John’s eyes widened a bit – he knows what she’s doing and he hates her for it.

“Alex would be up for it.” Lafayette scoffed, stepping away from the costumes, “I am giving up.”

“We were here for 20 minutes.” Eliza rolled her eyes.

“What do you mean he’d be up for it?” Peggy raised an eyebrow.

“Eh,” Lafayette shrugged, “he is...how do you say...” Lafayette hesitated, “Poly?”

John raised his eyebrows quickly. Peggy and John exchanged wide-eyed glances, “He is?” Peggy asked. She tried to contain _her_ excitement. She’s excited for John – like, super fucking pumped for him.

“Yeah.” Lafayette pursed his lips, “I did not tell you, though. I do not know if he wanted me to.”

“Safe with us.” Peggy laid a hand on her heart, grinning widely.

John released a soft laugh, shaking his head. Then paused.

He’s basically dating Hercules now – or something along the lines. He’s not _able_ to date Alexander anyways. Hercules has never dropped any hints about being poly.

John has to force away his crush now. Squash the hope.

Great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this chapter *confetti*  
> OK SO YALL R COOLLLL and that's all.  
> Thanks for reading n leave a lil comment if you're feelin kind.  
> (ALSO PLS FOLLOW MY INSTAGRAM @/modernlaurens IT'S MY ART INSTA AND ALSO !! EMMY FUCKING RAVER (angelica fucking schuyler) LIKED MY ART OF HER. SHE LI K ED IT. IM CRYING)


	19. Chapter 19

“What’s wrong with you?”

Alexander looked down at a sulking Maria who’s dressed as Jessica Rabbit, sitting down on the floor. Maria looked up at Alexander, annoyance plastered on her face. Tonight is the night of the dance and Alexander had assumed that Maria would be jumping off of the walls. Guess not.

“The person who I thought was going to ask me to the dance didn’t ask me.” Maria furrowed her eyebrows. She sighed, “And it’s not just that it’s...that I thought she liked me. Y’know? She doesn’t, I guess. Which sucks.”  
“Eliza?” Alexander guessed. He sat down next to Maria, looking at her. The two aren’t close by any means but he has always been there for Maria and Samuel even if they don’t see it sometimes.

“Yeah.” Maria picked at the edge of her dress, “It’s kind of dumb to sulk over it but I’m going without a date now and I’m, like, the only person. Even you have a date!” Maria exclaimed.

“That was probably meant to wound me.”

“Sorry. I fight when I’m sad.” Maria pulled her knees up to her chest and closed her eyes, “Even Sam has a date.”

“Well, Sam has been steadily dating George for...god...a while now.” Alexander breathed.

“I’m surprised.” Maria confessed, “That George has stayed with Sam for so long now. I assumed that George would be off with another person.”

“Guess they really like each other.” Alexander simply shrugged. He moved his eyes from the wall to look at Maria, “I think Eliza likes you, though. Maybe she was just nervous.”

Maria sighed, “It’s too late now.”

“Ask her to dance tonight.” Alexander suggested, bumping his shoulder softly with Maria.

“Maybe.” Maria nodded slowly. She looked Alexander up and down, “You’re wearing a dress.”

“Yeah.” Alexander snorted.

Lafayette wasn’t able to find a Minnie costume with pants and since it was a bit too late to throw something together, he decided to settle with the dress. He doesn’t mind – it’s not uncomfortable or anything even though he isn’t particularly used to wearing a dress.

“Why?” She asked. She laid her head against the wall, “Not that I’m judging you.”

Alexander chuckled, “Laf wasn’t able to find a Minnie costume without a dress since, y’know, Minnie wears a dress. So here we are.”

“Ah,” She hummed, “Honestly I’m surprised you’re going with him.”

“Why? He’s too out of my league?”

“Huh? No.” Maria shook her head quickly, “You’re out of his.”

“What?”

Alexander’s eyebrows raised at Maria’s compliment (?). She nodded gently, “You don’t seem like the type of person to...uh date someone like Lafayette.” She paused, “He’s apparently very easily angered. He was at the office a few days ago.”

“With John Laurens, yeah.” Alexander snorted, “Misunderstanding.”

“John Laurens.” Maria whispered, “He’s kinda cute, yeah?”

“Mmm.” Alexander hummed, “He’s going to the dance with Hercules Mulligan.”

“He’s hot, too.” Maria snorted, “Your friend group is on fire.”

“Tell me about it,” Alexander paused, “Eliza is kind of in my friend group, too.”

“Eliza is in everyone’s friend group.”

“Touche.”  
Alexander leaned over and wrapped an arm around Maria’s shoulder, “Don’t let her slip away.”

“What?”

“Eliza,” He said. “Don’t let her slip away from you. Life is short and trust me, the girl cares a lot about you. Confess. Don’t bottle everything up. It’ll only end in pain.” He squeezed Maria’s shoulders, standing up slowly.

Maria nodded and stood up as well as Samuel walked out of his room. Alexander has no idea what he’s supposed to be – he’s wearing a suit and tie.

“What are you?” Maria asked, voicing Alexander’s confusion.

“A butler.” Samuel responded, “George is dressing up as a King. So...”

“So you’re being his slave?” Maria scrunched her nose.

“Slave? No. Helper and assistant? Yeah.”

“Kinky.” Alexander commented under his breath. Maria scoffed and laughed, shoving Alexander’s shoulder gently.

* * *

Since the Halloween dance isn’t particularly a fancy thing, everyone was brought by different people and no one showed up at anyone’s house to bring them anywhere. The group all waited outside the school for each other.

John got a ride with Peggy, Angelica and Eliza (John went to Peggy’s house so she could put some makeup on him that he ‘needed to look more like a pirate’) she also needed some advice on her costume which is, as she said, Belle.

Alexander got a ride with Samuel’s boyfriend and so did Samuel and Maria. As soon as they got there, Maria walked quickly off in another direction to not be seen with George, Samuel or Alexander. Alexander sped walked in a different direction, trying to find his friends.

“Hi!” Alexander gasped upon seeing the Schuyler sisters first – their dresses look nearly identical to the princesses they’re supposed to be. Perks to having so much money you have no idea what to do with it, he guesses. “You girls look amazing.”

Peggy snorted, bowing dramatically, “As do you. Your dress looks great.”

“It does,” Eliza agreed – dressed as Cinderella, with her hair up and everything. The only thing she’s really missing is blonde hair. “Gil was scared that it wouldn’t fit properly. Looks good, though.”

“Y’think?” Alexander wiggled his eyebrows, “Will it get me laid?”

“Probably.” Angelica said – she’s Aurora. “Laf’s dick is wild. Wouldn’t be surprised.”

Alexander laughed loudly, shaking his head as his eyes came into contact with John. Alexander literally had to hold his breath for a second.

It’s only a simple pirate outfit and Alexander has no idea  _why_ or  _how_ it affected him so much but seeing John Laurens with eyeliner and in partially ripped clothing was a lot for his teenage brain to take in.

John seemed to have the same shock upon seeing Alexander’s outfit.

“Hey.” Alexander cleared his throat – stay cool, calm.

“Hi!” John beamed. He checked Alexander out for a quick second, so quick Alexander was sure he was seeing things.

Peggy looked between John and Alexander, sending a wink towards John that Alexander completely missed.

“Where’s Gil and Herc?” Eliza asked, looking around. She seems pretty bummed out, too. She didn’t ask Maria to the dance after all (and Maria didn’t ask her). 

“They’ll be here eventually.” Alexander bounced on his heels and finally tore his eyes away from John. He looks shy and nervous. Poor guy.

Alexander walked over to him, wrapping an arm around John’s shoulder and squeezed, “Excited to see your Knight in Shining Armour?” He teased, smile wide. The sisters huddled together and spoke softly. None of them have dates.

Angelica was asked out multiple times by multiple men (and one girl) and turned them all down. Eliza was asked out by a few awkwardly fumbly men but politely declined them (because she’s gay and super in love with Maria) and Peggy was asked out by absolutely no one.

Poor Peggy.

“Shut up.” John flushed, shoving Alexander playfully. He looked up at him, “Are Dolley, Martha and Aaron coming too?”

“Yeah. Dunno if they’re coming with Herc or not.” Alexander nodded.

“Did you hear that Aaron has a date?” Eliza asked. She wiggled her eyebrows, “Her names Theodosia.”

“Aaron has enough emotion to land himself a date?” Alexander whistled. He kept his arm around John’s shoulder, “Well I’ll be damned.”

Angelica laughed loudly, shaking her head as she looked down at the ground.

All of them spoke for a while – well, John stood mostly quiet, content with Alexander’s arm around his shoulder. He’s absolutely freezing outside but he’s super fucking excited to see what Hercules looks like.

Eventually, Lafayette and Hercules made their way towards them.

Alexander squealed upon seeing Lafayette – he looks ridiculous.

Black pants, a dumb red shirt  with buttons on it, ears and all. John isn’t sure how Alexander managed to convince Lafayette to go out in public with an attire so...this.

Alexander rushed up to Lafayette, squeezing the taller boy’s cheeks, “You’re so cute!” He joked loudly. Lafayette rolled his eyes before admiring Alexander.

“Hi.” John said softly as Hercules walked up to him. He’s dressed as a vampire (one of those cliche ones with a cape and all) and he looks, somehow, amazing. “You look good.”

Hercules smiled, blushing softly, “So do you.” He said. He looked John up and down and the two stood in awkward silence for a few seconds. John is determined to make his friendship (/relationship) with less awkward than this.

He’s gonna do it tonight...somehow.

“We all look good.” Alexander wiggled his eyebrows, “Especially Laf. Amazing.”

“He looks ridiculous.” Peggy deadpanned. She laughed loudly, “God. You’re in deep.”

“What?” Lafayette pouted, “In deep?”

“Yeah.” Peggy looked down, “Tell me how many other boys you would wear a fucking Mickey Mouse costume for? Exactly. Especially a hardass like you.”

Lafayette rolled his eyes and John stepped closer to Hercules. Halfway because he’s super cold (he should’ve brought a coat) and halfway because he just wants to be close to Hercules.

“Alright. Let’s go inside!” Angelica cheered, beaming. Her and John still aren’t on exact speaking-terms but they have mutual respect for each other now. A truce, if you wish to call it that.

“Let’s.” Eliza nodded. She linked both of her arms with her sisters and walked inside. Alexander and Lafayette walked a bit ahead of John and Hercules. Hercules bent down, whispering.

“Are you going to be okay?” He asked. John looked up at him, “There’s gonna be a lot of people here.”

“Maybe.” John paused, “If I’m not I’ll just leave or something.”

“Tell me if you’re feeling anxious, though.” Hercules grabbed John’s hand and squeezed it. John held his breath. He took note that when the two are alone together (not often) Hercules doesn’t really mind touching/speaking to/being around John.

John isn’t sure if Hercules just dislikes PDA or if he’s embarrassed of John.

He’s going to go with the first one just to help his confidence.

“I wouldn’t want to ruin your fun.” John frowned.

“Dude.” Hercules raised an eyebrow, “I’m going to the dance with you. No one else. If you’re done, I’m done.”

John released a soft, breathy laugh at Hercules’ tone of voice. It’s so stern and caring. It’s nice to feel like someone cares about John even a little bit. He looked up at Hercules as they entered the school and smiled.

He was hit with a large whiff of perfume and axe body spray but it’s nothing he isn’t used to – people in his school are famous for packing on as much scented products as they can. John doesn’t judge them (he used to do it, too), “Thank you.” John yelled just a bit as they walked into the gymnasium.

It’s decorated in a tacky way – black and orange everywhere along with a shit load of fake pumpkins, vampires, and nearly anything that seems slightly Halloween-like. There’s a refreshments on the table in the corner – a large punch bowl out in the open.

He mentally reminded himself to not drink from the punch bowl.

He does not trust teenagers who will get drunk any way they know how.

“Of course.” Hercules dropped John’s hand as soon as they were in view of everyone again.

“Shit, okay,” Alexander ran over to John and Hercules with Lafayette on tow. Alexander peeked behind him for a second, taking a deep breath. John doesn’t know what happened within the minute that he and Hercules were speaking but clearly something did, “So, Eliza and M—Eliza is miserable.” Alexander caught himself.

“Yeah?” John nodded slowly, “She’s sulking over Maria Washington, right?”

“Yes.” Alexander bounced on his toes, “I wanna get them together.”

Hercules spoke up quickly, “Is meddling in their love lives going to help them?” He asked hesitantly, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I said that as well.” Lafayette laid a hand on Alexander’s shoulder and squeezed it softly, “This is not a good idea. At all.”

“Shut up.” Alexander rolled his eyes, “It’s an amazing idea. I just need someone to help me convince both of them to dance with each other.”

“I’m out of this.” Hercules said quickly. He’s standing a little bit behind John, hands hovering just above his waist but not touching him.

“As am I.” Lafayette shook his head, “I am sorry but non. Eliza is my friend.”

“Then you’ll help her!” Alexander pouted and stared up at Lafayette, “C’mon!”

“Non.” Lafayette said, more sternly this time. Lafayette and John shared semi-concerned looks. The last time Eliza even thought about going to the dance with Maria she had a panic attack, “I refuse to do it.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea either.” John spoke up and frowned, “Let nature do its thing.”

“God!” Alexander loudly sighed, “Y’all are boring.”

“Did you just say ‘y’all’?” Hercules asked. He finally laid his hands on John’s waist, causing John to jump in surprise. He relaxed after a few seconds, though.

“Yes.” Alexander paused, “It’s not my fault that this is a Hicks-Ville school and I’m picking up on the slang.”

Lafayette, John and Hercules rolled their eyes together.

“Anyways, it’s a bad idea.” John continued, “I don’t think forcing Eliza, at least, into something she isn’t comfortable with is good for her.”

Alexander frowned and then nodded slowly, “I guess.” He looked down, “Fine! Fine. But if I gently tell her to go dance with Maria...is that bad?”

“I don’t think so.” Hercules said. “If you give her an option of yes and no.”

“Perfect.” Alexander grinned. He looked back at Lafayette, kissed his cheek softly, “I’ll be back. Hang out with them for _one second_.” And with that, Alexander pushed his way through the crowd. Lafayette watched him walk away, fond smile on his face.

“That boy...” He murmured, “He is non-stop.”

“Mmhm.” Hercules whispered. He snorted, “I dunno how you’re gonna keep up with him.”

“I hardly can now.” Lafayette crossed his arms over his chest. Hercules’ hands are still on John’s waist, holding John against his chest. It’s subtle – not many people can see the action – but it’s happening and John doesn’t mind.

However, he does make a mental note to not do anything too _gay_. He doesn’t want to risk anyone who knows his dad to find out.

“So...” Hercules paused. He looked between John and Lafayette, “John and I are a-okay now, as you can see,” John snorted and Lafayette chuckled softly, “But you two: how’re you? Still pretending...or are you learning?”

John didn’t want to answer.

It’s getting easier – being around Lafayette. He doesn’t want to cry every time the boy looks at him and his tone is getting a bit lighter. Sure, they still have a lot more things to work out before they consider each other ‘friends’ but...John doesn’t mind.

He’s at ease.

Everything seems to be slowly turning around.

“Uh,” Lafayette shrugged, “We are not pretending. We are at a...how do you say...truce now.”

John nodded gently in agreement, “Mhm.”

“Cool.” Hercules grinned, “Guess we still have to work up to friend status?”

“Oui.” Lafayette said quickly, “John and I have a lot of things to talk about. Our falling out was not like yours, mon ami.”  
Hercules nodded – he’s heard the story from John. He knows what happened.

Eventually, Alexander came back to where they were standing, “She said maybe.” He voiced and grabbed Lafayette’s hand, “Now let’s dance.”

Lafayette nodded and smiled, waving bye to (mostly) Hercules and (slightly) John as they went out to the dance floor.

“Shall we dance, too?” Hercules asked.

John hesitated at first – does he want to? He doubts people will be looking at him, everyone is caught up in their own world with their friends.

But why hesitate?

He’s at a dance for fuck sakes.

“Sure.” John grinned and turned around, grabbing both of Hercules’ hands.

* * *

“They’re beautiful, yeah?” Hercules said to Lafayette. The two of them are currently sitting at a table by themselves, watching Alexander and John dance dramatically together. John looks happy – Alexander looks happy – life is pretty sweet right now.

Lafayette looked over at Hercules. Herc has always been a softie and when he likes someone he thinks of them as the world. Lafayette kept his eyes on the two boys. He gently nodded, “Yeah.” He murmured. They really are.

* * *

“Look!” Alexander squealed, plopping down into Lafayette’s lap. John sat close to Hercules in a chair. Alexander pointed his finger towards Eliza who’s making her way through the crowd (with much difficulty – her dress is huge) towards Maria.

A slow song is playing and earlier that night John had voiced his concerns to Hercules about dancing to slow songs. (Somewhat. He just told Hercules that he isn’t 100% out and even though it may seem like the two are on a date – which they are – he wants to be able to deny it.)

“Hm.” Lafayette hummed. He wrapped his arms around Alexander’s waist and laid his head on his shoulder, “You think she’s gonna chicken out?”

“Yes.” Alexander said. He looked at Laf. Smiled. “Maybe.”  
“ I think she’s going for it.” John mentioned. He bit his bottom lip and smiled.

Despite John and Eliza not being on the best of terms (better than him and Angelica, not as good as him and Peggy) he’s still excited. Eliza deserves all the happiness in the world. She always has.

“Are you guys seeing this?” Angelica asked, her and Peggy rushing over to the table that Hercules, Lafayette, John and Alexander are sitting at.

“Of course.” Alexander said in a ‘duh’ tone.

Everyone watched – maybe a bit too excitedly – as Eliza approached Maria. She tapped her arm (interrupting Maria’s conversation with Theodosia and Aaron Burr). She turned around, cocking her head to the side and grinned at Eliza.

“Shit,” Peggy cursed.

They’re all way too into this.

Eliza said something – everyone at the table wishes they were good at lip reading now – and Maria’s face lit up even more, nodding quickly. And with that, Eliza grabbed Maria’s hand, pulling her out onto the dance floor where a bunch of couples are dancing together.

“BITCH!” Alexander yelled, standing up quickly. He earned a few looks from fellow students – and a few chaperones – but he doesn’t care. “Fuck yes!”

“Finally.” Peggy loudly sighed, “Literally; they were pining after each other for too long.”

“Agreed.” Angelica shook her head and ran a hand through her hair.

Angelica looked at John and their eyes met for a moment. She smiled softly at him and turned away.

_Yeah. His life really is turning around._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's currently Halloween in both of my stories.  
> *AGGRESSIVELY SHRUGS*  
> anyways i didn't edit this and i wrote it at around 5am?? That's when I write most of my chapters.  
> S,,,,o,,,,,,,yeah,,,,,,  
> I don't have anything else to say  
> Sorry for not updating for two (?) days idk why I don't realize how fast time goes and suddenly it's 2 days later.  
> THX FOR READIN.  
> COMMENTS R SUPER FUCKIN DOPE


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander and Peggy have the same sense of humour and John's life either has it against him or really wants him to be happy - he's not able to tell yet.

“Whatcha drawin’?” Someone’s arms – Alexander’s – wrapped around John’s arms, looking down at John’s sketchbook with a raised eyebrow. Clearing his throat, John grabbed the edge of the book and flipped it around before Alexander could see what John was sketching.

“None of your business.” John looked back at Alexander. Alex snorted.

“Whatever it was, it looked good.” He complimented, sitting down next to John. He knocked shoulders with him softly. The two of them are the only ones at the table right now. “So, I have a very, very important question that I really want you to say yes to.”

“What?” John asked slowly. Whenever Alexander asks him anything it usually involves John going out random places that he doesn’t _want to_ but this is _Alexander asking_ so of course he’s going to say yes to him.

“So, I was thinking, since you’re dating Hercules—,”

“Not really. We went to the dance together.”

“ _And since I’m dating Lafayette_ ,” Alexander rolled his eyes and ignored John’s statement (even though it is true – they went to a dance together and...well, that’s it) “We should go on a double date. The four of us. It’d be fun.”

John pursed his lips.

A night watching Alexander and Lafayette dry hump each other as John and Hercules sit awkwardly next to each other?

“No.”

“What!?” Alexander exclaimed – yeah. John never says ‘no’ to Alexander. “Why not!? You’re dating Hercu—,”

“Not officially.” John repeated, “We went to a dance together, Alex. That’s literally it.”

“You’re so infuriating!” Alexander threw his hands up. “Do you like him?”

“Mhm.” John nodded, _and you_ he silently added.

“Well...ask him! If you’re worried about your first date being awkward, you’ll have Laf and I!”

“I hope you know, and I mean this in the best way possible,” John laid his arms on the table and cocked an eyebrow at Alexander, “That you will make the date fifty times more awkward than it’s bound to be.”

“What?” Alexander fake-pouted, “Not true.”

“You and Laf cannot keep your hands off of each other,” John pointed a finger. “It’d make me, and possibly Hercules, uncomfortable.

“Or turned on.” Alexander raised his eyebrows rapidly. John scoffed, blushing a little bit as Hercules, Dolley, Aaron and Martha sat at the table.

“ Who’s turning who on?” Dolley asked. She raised both of her eyebrows.

“Uh...” John hesitated.

“John’s into foursomes.” Alexander smiled widely and bit his tongue as he did so. John’s eyes widened – so did Hercules’.

“No!” John exclaimed, “No! I did not say that. Quite the opposite, actu—,”

“It’s okay.  _ Admit it _ ,” Alexander soothed. He ran a hand up and down John’s arm, smile not faltering as John’s face turned redder. Alexander knows that John didn’t say that, and John knows John didn’t say that, so why is his heart drumming so much?

Maybe because Hercules thinks he’s a freak with a sex drive that can only be satisfied by three people.

_And, sure, he wouldn’t exactly mind having a foursome one day –_

_SHUT UP, MIND!_

“Hey. Hercules has the same fantasy.” Martha laughed loudly. John doesn’t know her enough to know if she’s joking or telling the truth.

Hercules scoffed loudly, “Fuck off.”

“Perfect!” Alexander purred dramatically.

“I want you all to know that I am very uncomfortable.” Aaron spoke up. His eyes flicked between Alexander, John and Hercules.

“You’re blessed for thinking about four very,  _ very  _ attractive men having sex.” Alexander continued. John sighed loudly, too much into his state of mind of ‘shut the fuck up Alexander’ to even realize that Alexander called him ‘very attractive’.

“Alright! It’s overplayed.” John exclaimed. He shoved Alexander with his hand, “Permission to shut the fuck up.”

Alexander grinned at John and with that he nodded. He began to talk about something else (thankfully, no longer foursomes)

_That boy_...

* * *

“I can’t believe we’re learning about the Solar System...in 12th grade.” John muttered. He’s mostly speaking to himself, somewhat to Lafayette. They’re in Science class right now (goodie) and focusing (somewhat) on their teacher.

Lafayette hummed in agreement, “We learned about this in 9th grade, oui?”

“Yep.” John clicked his tongue, pulling one leg up to his chest and rested his head on it. He knows a lot about Space already (he enjoys it) but the thought of the universe never ending and John probably never being able to live to see someone live on a new planet is haunting.

He dislikes thinking about it.

“Now, I know that you guys have learned about Space before.” Mr. Jackman continued. John rolled his eyes at that. Yep. “But we’re going to be going more in _depth_.”

Maybe this is what he gets for choosing Science instead of Chemistry in 10th grade. John just isn’t a very Science-y or Mathematical student. He sticks to what he knows best: art. Choosing Science was bound to set him up for boring failure.

“Our first project is going to be assigned today.” John raised a lazy eyebrow, picking at some loose threads on his jeans. “You’re required to make something that teaches us about the Solar System. Something interesting.”

A girl raised her hand in the front of the class. She asked a quick question about why they’re doing this exactly – this is 9th grader work, after all. He replied with ‘we all know you took this class because it was required and you have no interest in very many Science-related things’.

Welp, he got them there.

If any of them actually had any interest in Science (not Solar System Science) they would’ve went to Chemistry. Yeah, they did a quick Chemistry unit at the beginning of this school year but that was...it. Otherwise they’re focusing on, clearly, Space and just shit that John knows enough about already.

Mr. Jackman explained the assignment: you have to show all of the planets (including Pluto), say if they’re an inner or outer planet (explain how they are) and do a model to show your research. John pursed his lips.

“Discuss.” He waved his hand, “And you have a week.”

And with that, the class erupted into conversation. John begrudgingly turned to Lafayette who was already turned to him, “So...” John said slowly, “What’re we doing?”

“You are artsy.” Lafayette said, “So you should make the model.”

“Uh, that means you’re stuck with the easy part which is the write-up.” John refused, “No thank you.”

“That part is not easy.”

“Yes it is!”

“I am French, John.”

John rolled his eyes and sighed loudly, “So? You’re basically spitting information from the book onto a piece of paper. I refuse to do the model because I’m ‘good at art’. Besides,” He pointed a finger, “I’m not good at models or sculpting. Just sketching...somewhat.”

Lafayette raised an eyebrow, “Fine.” He said, “We will split the work evenly. Both of us work on the model, both of us work on the write up.”

“Well, no shit.” John said sarcastically.

“I do not enjoy your tone.”

John rolled his eyes again, crossing his arms over his chest. “Alright. Sorry.” He muttered, “We work together. We have a week to do this. I know you’re French, it’s in your blood, but we’re not doing anything extravagant. Just a line of the planets with paper mache or some shit.”

Lafayette gently nodded, “Okay.” He said, “So, will I have to come to your house to work on it? Or you mine?”

“Probably.” John pursed his lips. Great. He and Lafayette alone. This can only go terribly. “We’re going to have to. I don’t know how long paper mache takes but I don’t want to leave this until the last minute.”

“Tomorrow?” Lafayette suggested, “We can go to my house if you please.”

John nodded, “That works.” He said, “But...we should probably go out today if we’re working on it tomorrow. To, like, buy the stuff.”

“Okay.” Lafayette said. “So...store today. Together?”

“Preferably. I don’t want to put stress on the other person to get the right things.” John looked up at the clock as he spoke – 3 minutes until the bell rings. “So are you free today or is this too inconvenient?”

“Non. I am free.” Lafayette slowly slipped his book into his bag as he looked up at the clock as well, “Right after school?”

“Yeah. We can get dropped off at my house from the bus. Take my car to the store.” John slipped his book into his bag as well.

With that, the bell rang and John stood up from his desk quickly, speed walking towards the door.

* * *

“Lafayette and I are going to be stuck in the same place for hours by ourselves.” John ranted to Peggy as they walked towards the bus, doing wild hand motions from distress. John and Lafayette are semi-fine in the public now...but Lafayette could murder someone and make it look like an accident.

So...

“Sounds cool.” Peggy bumped her arm with John’s, “Maybe you and Laf can get to know each other better and have a big foursome poly-party.” She wiggled her eyebrows. John scoffed loudly, rolling his eyes at her.

“I hate your guts.”

“I know.” Peggy scrunched her nose as they stepped onto the bus. Peggy waved over dramatically at Angelica and Eliza as Peggy and John sat down together. John turned to Peggy.

“Besides, I wouldn’t date Lafayette if my life depended on it.” He muttered, “Sure, Laf is attractive and stuff but he’s unpredictable. I need at least one steady thing in my life and Lafayette is not a steady thing.”

“Hercules is the steady thing.” She grinned brightly, “So...”

“Get the foursome idea out of your head.” He sighed, “What’s up with people and foursomes today?”

Peggy raised an eyebrow, “Should I ask?”

“Preferably no.”

Peggy simply nodded and the two slipped into silence. Peggy plugged her headphones into her phone, pressing play on her music. John pressed his head to the cold bus window. Soon, someone tapped his arm from behind him and he turned his neck to see Lafayette.

“Are we still going shopping?” He asked.

“Yep.” John nodded. “So...do you remember where my bus stop is? If not just...well, just get off when I do.”

“I will.” Lafayette said. He patted John’s shoulder gently, standing up and walking towards the front of the bus where Eliza sits. He slid next to her. Peggy turned her head to look at John. She didn’t say anything, just raised an eyebrow.

John shrugged.

The rest of the bus ride was completely uneventful besides two white boys in the back throwing around paper balls. The bus soon stopped at his stop. Peggy stood up, letting John out of the seat. He sent her a smile and she sent him a look of ‘text me everything’.

He gave her a curt nod.

John walked towards the front of the bus. He tapped Lafayette’s shoulder a little bit when he walked past, just to get his attention that this is his bus stop. He heard Laf say a loud ‘goodbye’ to Eliza before rushing to follow John off of the bus.

“What do you need for paper mache?” Lafayette asked as soon as they stepped off. They walked close to each other. John took a step to the side, not wanting to over step weird boundaries. They’re not even close enough to be considered friends.

“I don’t know.” John confessed. He didn’t look up at Lafayette, just stared ahead. “We could probably just use little Styrofoam balls and paint them different colours. It’ll be a lot less of a hassle.”

Lafayette nodded slowly, “Okay, good. Because I do not know what paper mache is.”

John smiled and shook his head. “We used it on our volcano.”

“That is what that is?” Lafayette whispered.

“Yeah.” John said. “That was a mess. We should stick to the paint.”

Lafayette nodded in agreement.

They got to John’s house and John opened the front gate before closing it. They walked to John’s door and sighed, “My dad is home.” He said, “I’ll just run inside and grab my keys and we can go.”

“Okay.” Lafayette said, “Do you want me to wait here?”

“You...” John hesitated. He doesn’t want to be an asshole but he also really, really doesn’t want Lafayette to see Martha and Henry for the first time in...well, a while. Still, his Southern ways overcame him, “You can come in for a second.”

Lafayette nodded and followed John inside.

John dropped his bag down at the door, “You can...wait here.” John said before rushing inside. He looked towards the hanger that hangs his car keys. He grabbed them, trying to dash outside before getting caught by one of his family members.

Alas, no such luck.

“Jack?”

John sighed. He turned slowly to face his dad, “Yes?”

“Where are you going?” He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest.

John looked back and forth a few times. He cleared his throat, “I have to go to the store with a friend.” He said, “School project.”

“Which friend?” Henry’s eyes narrowed.

“His name is...Marie.” John spit out quickly, choosing one of Lafayette’s many names that his dad hasn’t heard before, “And we should get going now. He has to be home for...stuff.”

Henry raised an eyebrow and smirked, “Alright. Well, have fun with _him_.”

John’s eyes widened a little bit.

He chose a very feminine-sounding name.

John forced a smile towards his dad, rushing back out to Lafayette, “My dad thinks you’re a girl so we should go before anything awkward happens.”

Lafayette raised an eyebrow and snorted. Thankfully, he didn’t question anything and the two stepped outside and towards John’s car. Lafayette whistled softly at it, “Damn.”

“My dad is over dramatic with purchases.” John murmured. He unlocked the door. “He uses it more than I do but it’s _technically_ mine.”

“It is nice.”

“Thanks.” John slipped in, as did Lafayette.

He started the car up and pulled out of the driveway. His heart is pounding a little bit and he didn’t even realize it. He’s in a car right now, by himself, with Lafayette. A boy who hurt him a lot. Who discarded him for Thomas fucking Jefferson of all people.

The ride to the store was silent, awkward, and tense. John was too nervous to even turn the radio on. So it stayed off.

John pulled into the parking lot, stopping the car, “Alright,” He turned to Lafayette, breaking the silence, “We need paints. Get the primary colours, white, and black and we should be good.” He said. Lafayette slowly nodded and cut John off before he could continue.

“Okay. So...what are the primary colours?”

John blinked.

“Blue, red and yellow.” He said, “I’m assuming you know what white and black are.”

“Non. Enlighten me.”

John looked around, “White,” He pointed at a car parked in front of them, “Black.” He pointed to Lafayette.

Lafayette sent John a deadpanned look.

“Sorry. Was that bad?” He rushed, “That was bad. I’m sorry. I didn’t...was it racist? I was making a j—,”

Lafayette stopped staring at John as if he ruined the world for good and smiled, shaking his head, “It was funny.” He assured, “Do not worry. Is there anything else?”

John released a loud breath he didn’t know he was holding, “We need wiring and Styrofoam balls...that’s it.” He paused, “No, I also want gel pens.”

“Gel pens? ...Why?”

“I dunno.” John opened his car door, “It has nothing to do with the project I just want gel pens. Art...’n stuff.”

Lafayette gently shook his head. He smiled softly at John, stepping out of the car as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating this story for two days aha I've had writers block for this story specifically. So, I'm sorry if this sucks, it was just be trying my diddly darn best to jump over the hurdle.  
> I think I've jumped over it,,,hopefully.  
> So, we've got some progress on LafxJohn FINALLY. I went the overly-cliche route. Clearly.  
> Also I'm giving them over-simplified Science projects and ik that high school is 50 times harder than what they're doing iwewj but i don't know much abt science - just space, really - so let me geek out about space damMit  
> Anyways!2@!  
> Comments make me soft n are v appreciated.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Lafayette work on their project.  
> also beware of Google translate French. (I knew some things since Im p good w Canadian French but SOME stuff is google translate so ya beware)

**Peggy: how’s it goin’?**

**John: hes been trying to pick between magenta and red for 10 minutes. You tell me.**

**Peggy: ...**

**Peggy: why**

**John: bc i accidentally told him that magenta makes a truer colour and he can’t decided if he wants that or vibrant colours.**

**Peggy: buy both? aren’t paints like $1.50?**

**John: 1.25**

**John: but yea ur right ill just buy both**

“Just grab both, dude.” John muttered towards Lafayette. John is currently holding a basket with Styrofoam balls, wiring, some gel pens, and other little things John thought they might need (and things that John wanted in general since he’s paying). “We can decide if we want to use magenta or red when the time comes.” His eyes flicked over the paints, “Grab cyan, too, though. If we’re gonna get magenta for a truer colour, just as well to go all the way.”

Lafayette slowly nodded as he grabbed red, magenta, cyan, blue, white, and black. He paused, “Does it matter what yellow I get?” He asked.

“Just...get the one that says sunshine yellow, I guess. It doesn’t really matter as long as it isn’t too dark or neon.” John responded with ease. Perks of being slightly too obsessed with art. However, he hasn’t painted in a long time.

He should get on that again.

Lafayette grabbed the yellow, straightening up and turning to John. He dropped the paints into the basket, “I am sorry for taking so long. I just...want us to get the best marks possible. Besides, I am not an artist.”

“I highly doubt he’ll deduct marks for our colours being slightly off.” John rolled his eyes. Still, a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He looked up at Lafayette as the two walked, “Besides, it’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“Okay.” Lafayette breathed. They made their way to the cashier, lining up. They didn’t stand too close to each other (John didn’t want to overstep unspoken boundaries.) and stayed mostly quietly. Lafayette occasionally hummed the song that’s playing over the intercom in the store, though.

“Oh!” Lafayette said suddenly as they got closer to the checkout. John’s eyes widened, looking up at Lafayette in confusion, “I will buy the paints, by the way.”

“What?” John shook his head, “No. The paints are a lot more expensive than the stuff I’m buying and half of the stuff I’m buying isn’t even for our project. So I refuse. I’ll pay.”

“Non.” Lafayette murmured, “I have too much pride to allow someone else to pay.”

“We aren’t on a date, Lafayette.” John rolled his eyes. His cheeks warmed a little bit at the thought. Dumb hopeless romantic feelings. It was only because Laf is here, though. Not Hercules or Alexander. That’s...the only reason. “So your pride isn’t on the line.”

“Lies. I am French. My pride is very much always on the line.”

“You use the excuse ‘I’m French’ for everything.”

“Oui.” Lafayette raised an eyebrow, “France is very different from America, John. We are raised differently.”

“Well...duh.” John said, “But I’m still paying.”

Lafayette scoffed, “Fine. But I am paying you back somehow. Do you like...erm...McDonalds?”

“I do.” John raised an eyebrow as they got to the register. The woman began to scan the items.

“Okay. I will get you McDonalds tomorrow then, oui? Before we go to my house to do the project?” He offered, “There is one that is a 10 minute walk from my house.”

“Will you let me say no?”

“Non.”

“Fine.” John rolled his eyes, taking his credit card out of his pocket, “But I’m only letting you get me chicken nuggets.”

* * *

“You’re going to McDonalds with Lafayette?” Peggy snorted loudly, covering her mouth as she did so. John rolled his eyes, sighing loudly as he ran his fingers along the edges of his sketchbook. John needed to speak to Peggy about a few things today (and Peggy needed to speak to him, too) so for lunch he decided to go to the library.

“Yes.” John rolled his eyes in irritation. “I know, I know. Ridiculous. But he literally wouldn’t let me pay for our bullshit project without this compromise. Some stupid French excuse that I’m too lazy to look up is real or not.”

“Sounds like a...date. Foursome activated!” She squeaked, earning a loud ‘shush’ from the librarian and a wide eyed look from a few students who are sitting nearby. (Really. Who says ‘foursome activated’? Peggy. That’s who.)

“A date? At McDonalds? My God, Peggy. He’s French. He has class.” John scoffed, “Besides, I said this before and I’ll say it again: I would die before going out with Lafayette. I’m just not...interested in him that way. He hurt me.”

“Emotions change, bud.” Peggy leaned across the table and poked John’s chest – where his heart is. “And speaking of him hurting you; you two have to talk it out.”

“Ugh.” John groaned, “Why?”

“Because...he’s your best friend’s boyfriend? Or...something.” Peggy waved her hand, “And you guys can’t have a tense past. You can’t have Alexander choose between you or Lafayette.”

“He doesn’t.” John fought quickly, “I deal with Lafayette the best I can.”

“But it makes you tired. It visibly bums you out.”

“Being around people in general make me tired, Pegs.”

Peggy chuckled, “Amen, brother.” She said.

John smiled a little bit as well, shaking his head.

He knows she’s right, though. He has to speak to Lafayette about this at some point.

He wants to know what happens and doesn’t want to constantly blame Lafayette when it could’ve been John’s fault, too. He has some closure with Hercules, he knows exactly what happened with the sisters, but...with Laf, he just got bitterness until John couldn’t take it anymore.

He has to bring it up.

Sometime this week, maybe?

Unless he chickens out, of course.

“Anyways,” John clapped his hands, “What did you want to speak to me about?”

Peggy cocked her head to the side, confused at first. Then her eyes widened, “Oh!” She whispered. She played with the edge of her yellow dress (it’s filled with flowers. Typical Peggy) “So, I think I may be aroace?”

“Oh?” John cocked an eyebrow, “That’s great, Pegs!”

“Yeah.” Peggy gulped. She furrowed her eyebrows, “I...uh, don’t know if I 100% am, though? I don’t have any desire to be in a relationship at all, nor do I have a desire to have sex, but I’m only in 10th grade and my only kiss was when I was in 5th grade so I can’t judge but...y’know.”

“Sexuality is fluid. Figuring out who you are is tough.” John smiled. He reached over for Peggy’s hands. She removed them from her dress and gave them to John. He squeezed them, “But if you feel comfortable going with aroace for now, go ahead. If you feel it shift later in the future? Dope. If you don’t? That’s dope, too.”

“Never say dope again.”

“Sorry.”

Peggy smiled. She shook her head, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome dude. You’re only 16! When I was 16 I was so far in the closet and so unsure of who I was. Keep going, kiddo.”

“Never call me kiddo again.”

John snorted, “Is all of my vocabulary offending you today?”

“Yes.” Peggy smiled, “But it’s fine ‘cause I love you~.”

“I love you too.” John rolled his eyes. He smiled back at Peggy.

He really does love this kid.

* * *

“I told you that this isn’t necessary yet, here we are, in McDonalds and here you are, buying me McDonalds when I told you that I’m fine with spending – what was it? 15 dollars? Jesus Christ, Lafayette.” John spoke continuously. Lafayette shook his head at John. Damn, can that kid talk when he’s irritated.

“It is okay.” Lafayette sighed, “Go get a seat and I will be there with you. What do you want to drink?”

“Nothing.” John narrowed his eyebrows.

“Coca-Cola it is.”

John scoffed, rolling his eyes. He isn’t going to win this battle.

So, John stalked off, trying to find a table. Lafayette ordered quickly, sending a charming smile towards the girl who’s taking his order. He’s not sure of her name but he’s seen her around school before. She grinned brightly as Lafayette stood off to the side.

Lafayette’s phone buzzed softly and he took it out of his pocket to read the text.

**Alexander: you’re with my precious flower pls b careful w him he is fragile**

**Lafayette: ...I thought I was your precious flower**

**Alexander: yea u are too but john is my other precious flower n i lov him**

**Lafayette: i know mon cher.**

**Alexander: >:33 I love u too**

**Lafayette: shut up**

**Lafayette: and never use that face again**

**Alexander: xoxo**

Lafayette sighed softly, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. He knows that Alexander is only joking when he says ‘I love you’ but it still doesn’t stop Lafayette’s heart from pounding. He hates this – to feel...well, in love with a person. He’s never really felt the same attraction towards anyone else that he feels towards Alexander and it’s frustrating him to know that he only knows how to show his affection by physical interaction.

He pursed his lips.

He and Alexander are super close now – spend almost all of their time together in school and sometimes out of school. Alexander had let it slip a while ago ago that he likes John, too, and that lead to a discussion about Alexander being poly and having a gigantic fucking crush on John and Hercules as well as Lafayette.

It confused (and hurt) Laf at first, honestly. Because...well, Alexander liked other people.

But, Lafayette wants Alexander to be happy so when he suggested that he could date Lafayette and Hercules/John separately, Lafayette wasn’t opposed to the idea at all. He still gets Alexander and Alexander gets three boyfriends.

Alex won’t confess to John and Hercules, though. Mainly because John and Herc are going slow with their relationship. Lafayette isn’t even sure if John and Hercules are still seeing each other after that dance.

Lafayette heard his number called, snapping out of his thoughts as he smiled at the employee, grabbing the tray and making his way to find John.

He was easy to spot, head in his phone and eyebrows furrowed, soft pout on his lips as he texted someone. Lafayette sat across from him, causing John’s eyes to snap up quickly in slight panic. He relaxed a bit when seeing Lafayette. Not all the way, though. Laf picked up on that.

“Who are you texting?” He raised an eyebrow, setting the food down. He’s gotta be honest, he hates American fast food, but it’s fine.

“Herc, Peggy and Alex.” John bit his lip.

“Ah. Popular.” Lafayette joked. John shook his head gently, shoving a stray piece of hair behind his ear.

“Sure.” He said sarcastically, “Erm...thank you for this, by the way.”

“It is the least I can do.”

“Fifteen dollars, Lafayette.”

“Fifteen dollars more than I wanted you to spend.”

John shook his head softly, looking down. A small smile tugged at his lips but that was it. He sipped softly on his drink before nibbling on a chicken nugget.

Awkward, tense silence fell over the table.

Lafayette decided to speak up, “So...the project.” He began. John looked up. A piece of his hair fell into his eyes again. “Are we working on the art part today or the write up?”

“I think...we should do the write up first. So we can base the project on that.” John said. “But that’s just me. You can suggest whatever.”

“Non. It works.” Lafayette nodded. “It is a good idea.”

“Okay. Good.” John pursed his lips.

Silence again.

This is only to be expected.

It’s so weird to know that years ago, there was never an awkward silence like this. Now that’s all they’re able to get.

It’s kinda heart breaking.

John’s phone vibrated on the table. John cocked his head to the side as he read it. He rolled his eyes, “That girl...”

“Hm?”

“Peggy.” John laughed. He clicked his phone off instead of replying, “She’s...Peggy.”

“I somehow know what you mean by that.” Lafayette smiled. He doesn’t speak to Peggy nearly as much as Eliza but he does know what Peggy is like. She’s an amusing person to watch and talk to, though.

John smiled back at Lafayette.

Lafayette’s heart jumped a little bit.

He ignored it.

* * *

“Ma mere will try to overfeed you.” Lafayette warned as they approached his house. John trailed slightly behind Lafayette so Laf is turning slightly, looking at John. “And she also might slip into French. She is good at English but does not prefer it.”

John nodded slowly. He hasn’t met Lafayette’s mom before (properly, at least). Hes seen her around and said hello to her a few times but otherwise, that was it. He didn’t ever meet her whilst at Lafayette’s house. She was always working.

They got to Laf’s house and he pulled the front door open. He heard a distant ‘bonjour?’ and then ‘est-ce que vous Gilbert?’.

“Oui!” Lafayette yelled out, closing the door behind him. “Mon ami John est avec moi.”

“Oh!” Mrs. Lafayette exclaimed. She emerged from – John assumes – the kitchen in a white apron. Her eyes landed on John and eyes glistened, “John! It has been too long. Bonjour, bonjour!” She walked up to him, squeezing John’s face between her hands and then kissed both of his cheeks.

John laughed awkwardly, nodding in agreement but not speaking.

“Nous avon un projet.” Lafayette explained, in French. John understood a few words but not very much of it. He only speaks Spanish and English. Never felt the need to learn French, “Nous allons dans ma chambre.”

“Ne soyez pas grossier!” Mrs. Lafayette slapped Lafayette’s head softly, shaking her head, “I am sorry, John. Do you want a biscuit? Something to drink?”

“No thank you.” John declined softly.

Mrs. Lafayette studied John’s face and turned to Lafayette, “Go to your room. I will bring snacks.”

Lafayette snorted loudly, watching his mom walk away. He shook his head, “See? No is not an answer in this household. Come on.”

John nibbled his lip, following after Lafayette after taking off their shoes (he hardly ever takes off his shoes in his house. But, obviously, French people practice different things...including taking off shoes).

They got to Lafayette’s room and it didn’t change much.

It’s decorated amazingly. The walls are a deep blue and littered with pictures of himself, his family, him and Thomas, him and Alexander, and a lot of other people. John’s eyes narrowed on the wall slightly, eyes flickering over the photos.

He frowned upon seeing a picture of him and Lafayette.

_Why does he still have it up?_

John doesn’t know. But they look so happy.

Lafayette’s arm is wrapped around John’s shoulder. Two puberty, pimple-ridden boys. John has braces, Lafayette is wearing glasses, but...content. They look content with each other.

Oh how times change.

“Where do we start?” Lafayette asked, sitting down on his bed. John cleared his throat, sitting down next to Lafayette (not too close. Never too close)

“With paper.”

Lafayette rolled his eyes. Smiled a bit. “Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep panicking and thinking that I’m moving too fast w this story (even tho im on chapter 21 lmao) but then i remember that these are HIGH SCHOOL KIDS we’re working with. HAVE U MET A HIGH SCHOOLER??? BITCHES EXCHANGING PROMISE RINGS WITHIN 2 WEEKS OF DATING. IM FINE.   
> Anyways, when this story ends im probably going to make a little texting fic out of this universe just bccccc i wanna? As like a lil bonus thing. And I want to make a texting fic so bad. I’ve never made one of those before and I love reading them sm.   
> ANND i have decided to make a lil schedule for my writing bc! YEAH  
> Project Alex: Monday, Wednesday, Friday  
> The Tedious Adventures of Teaching: Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday  
> Nothing/A one-shot: Sunday  
> I FEEL LIKE IT’LL KEEP ME A LIL MORE ~~~organized~~~ and itll be easier on my brain. Yay. That’s all I think.  
> COMMENTS R RLLLLLLLY NICE N I LOVE THEM A LOT N THEY MAKE ME HAP


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit happens? I guess?

John was sitting by himself in the library the next day, everything silent. Peggy had a doctor’s appointment and had to leave school early and Alexander was busy with homework that he held off until the last moment. That’s pretty out of character for Alexander, but he did hold it off and he’s currently in the computer lab (John assumes) finishing it.

John didn’t really have anyone else to hang out with. He didn’t want to bug Lafayette (besides, the two aren’t friends. They’re working on a project together and that doesn’t equal any sort of friendship) and he doesn’t want to just walk up to Martha, Dolley, Aaron and Hercules and sit with them. He still hasn’t really spoken to Hercules since the dance and is too awkward to start a conversation. He also doesn’t fancy hanging out with Angelica and Eliza by themselves since they aren’t...friends, either.

John really does hang out with a lot of ‘not friends’.

He sketched out a random picture. It looked slightly like Lafayette, John noticed, so he rolled his eyes, erasing the beard and fixing up the eyes a little bit. Everything he draws either looks like Lafayette, Alexander, or Hercules and it’s driving him mad.

Literally, there’s no logical explanation for him to be drawing Lafayette. He likes Alexander and Hercules so maybe that’s understandable. But Lafayette? He hangs out with the guy for two days and suddenly...

But, he is fun to draw though. He has interesting features – in a good way, of course.

John continued sketching for a few more minutes, biting on the pad of left thumb. Soon, there was a voice behind him, “John?”

John jumped, whipping around to face Hercules. He looked scared, shy, awkward, playing with the edge of his purple t-shirt. He’s wearing a cardigan/jacket of some sort, too. He somehow managed to make himself – a pretty big guy – look incredibly small.

“Hi.” John cleared his throat, trying to calm his heart rate from the sudden scare and from suddenly seeing Hercules.

“I...Alex said that I’d find you here.” He looked around the library a little and then stepped towards John slightly, “I should’ve guessed. You...loved this place.”

“Still do.” John closed his sketchbook on instinct. “It’s peaceful.”

“Yeah.” Hercules agreed, “The last time we were here together I think I was super bitter and angry towards you.”

John laughed a little, looking down, “I think so, yeah.”

“Yeah...I’m sorry for that.” Hercules grabbed the back of one of the chairs, pulling it out and sitting next to John. John looked up at Hercules. “I’m...not sure what was up with me. I think that Lafayette had stories that happened between you two stuck in my head and I...thought of you like that...even though we didn’t have any intense issues.”

“It’s okay.” John shrugged. He rubbed his bare arms. “I understand. We both held stupid grudges.”

“That’s for sure.” Hercules bit his lip. They sat in silence for a few seconds before he sighed, “I came here to ask you something. I wasn’t just being creepy and looking for you for no reason whatsoever.”

John darted his tongue out to lick his bottom lip, “What is it?” He asked softly. He’s been getting in trouble so much in this library due to Peggy that if he doesn’t keep quiet he fears the absolute worse. Thankfully, Hercules is speaking softly, too.

“It’s about us.”

John’s eyes widened. “Us?”

This could mean two things: Hercules is going to say ‘the dance was just a one-time thing and that’s it between us’ or ‘I actually care about you a lot and kind of want to date you/see where this takes us’.

John really, really hopes it’s the second.

“Yeah.” Hercules reached out, grabbing one of John’s hands. John held his breath for a quick second before releasing it. This is just Hercules and John is nearly graduated high school. A simple handhold shouldn’t make him feel so excited and happy about life, “I’m not...sure if the dance was just you being desperate and needing someone to go with or not. But I actually, for real, wanted to go with you because I like you. I...know this is a weird place to say this but I’ve been super busy and after this I have so much homework to do that I probably won’t be able to pick up my phone.” He laughed a little bit.

John looked up at Hercules through his eyelashes. Heart pounding (why of course. When is it not?) as he spoke. “It wasn’t just a desperate thing for me.” He responded. “I liked you – I _like_ you. I’m sorry for not talking to you about it. I didn’t know what to say...” John paused, “And I’ve been super busy, too.”

Hercules released a thankful breath. “Oh, Jesus...good. Good.” He laughed breathlessly. “I was kinda scared. I know that we’ve just become friends again – and I guess more – but Laurens, I like you a lot.”

“I like you a lot, too.” John pressed his lips together. He smiled up at Hercules. “I feel like I’m in a cliche teen movie.”

Hercules nodded in agreement. He’s beaming. John feels as if his face looks exactly the same right now. “Me, too. It’s not a bad feeling, though.”

“I wonder when the dramatic downfall is going to come before everything gets resolved.” John joked. He scrunched up his nose as Hercules laughed.

“Soon.” Hercules wiggled his eyebrows. He looked up at the clock on the wall and then back at John. “So...Friday, if you’re not busy, do you wanna go on a date or something?”

“This is a very romantic way of asking me out, Herc.” John joked but the joy in his chest right now is undeniable. Hercules likes him. Hercules wants to date him. This isn’t just a dumb, childish dream. There’s a possibility that these two can be actual, literal boyfriends.

“Shut up.” Hercules said fondly. “Dinner and then a movie?”

“Sounds good to me.” John bit his lip as the bell rang. Hercules stood up, leaning down to kiss John’s cheek softly.

“Don’t be a stranger. Even if I can’t get to my phone, I want texts from you.” He went to walk away as John’s cheeks flushed. He then turned around, “Oh, and I’m paying, so don’t worry about that.” And with that, Hercules turned around and walked out the door.

John rolled his eyes and smiled widely.

* * *

“Just...stick it in there.”

Lafayette snorted loudly at John as he instructed Lafayette to put a piece of wiring into the Styrofoam balls. They finished up their write up for their project yesterday (well, somewhat. Some parts have to be edited but otherwise it’s done) and now they’re working on the diagram. They want to get it done as soon as possible.

“You’re ridiculous.” John deadpanned. He still smiled a little bit at Lafayette, though. It was an innuendo, John is a teenage boy. Of course it’s humorous.

“Well, if you have chosen your words slightly better..” Lafayette trailed off as he did what John told him, sticking his tongue out slightly and biting down on it. John watched his face for longer than he’d like to admit.

He can’t help it, though. Lafayette is attractive and he won’t lie. John just isn’t attracted to Lafayette’s...personality, so to speak.

“I was giving you instructions. What else was I going to say?” John asked. He raised an eyebrow at Lafayette. John is sitting on his knees whilst Lafayette is sitting cross-legged on their floor, paint laid around them but not opened yet, unsure if they’ll get to the painting today.

“Anything that was not that? Also,” Lafayette laid down the beginning of the diagram and looked at John, “Why are we not painting the...erm,” He picked up one of the Styrofoam balls and showed them to John, “These first? It would be a lot easier, non?”

“Yes. But I don’t want to risk painting it and then having the paint crack when we have to stick them together. So...” John trailed off, “Yeah.”

Lafayette raised an eyebrow, “That is a terrible idea.”

“No it isn’t!” John frowned, “It’s a secure idea that would save a lot of hassle.”

Snorting, Lafayette didn’t say anything else and continued to connect everything together as John handed him the Styrofoam and just...watched him. The sun is starting to go down, casting an orange-ish glow to Lafayette from the window.

He looks ethereal.

Lafayette looked up at John, eyes connecting. John pursed his lips, clearing his throat and looking down, flushing upon being noticed staring. Lafayette laughed quietly, sitting up straighter from where he was slouching and clearing his throat.

“So,” He held up the diagram. Thankfully he didn’t mention the staring.

(John is an artist – that’s going to be his excuse. He studies people’s movements. That’s his excuse right. There.)

“Okay...” John scooted a bit towards Lafayette, grabbing the diagram from his hands. Their hands brushed a bit. John’s heart jumped, “We’re gonna have to paint around it and not get any paint on the wires.”

“I still think...” Lafayette plucked a Styrofoam ball off of the side, “That we should paint them first and then stick them on.”

“Yeah, but even if we do that, it’s a circle. We’re gonna get paint all over our hands and fingerprints all over the planets. Planets don’t have finger prints on them, Laf...ayette.” He cleared his throat. John has probably let the nickname ‘Laf’ slip a few times this week. Force of habit and stuff. “And they’ll crack.”

“Planets have cracks! Meteors.”

“Well, yeah.” John rolled his eyes. He reached his hand out for the Styrofoam ball, taking it from Lafayette’s hand. Their fingers brushed against each others again. “But they don’t have white cracks from paint.”

“It doesn’t have to be perfect.”

“Speaks you!” John exclaimed, “You made us buy Cyan and Magenta!”

“Not true! You said to get both. I was very fine with sitting and contaminating.”

John paused the conversation for a second. “Did you just say contaminating?”

“...Yes?”

“I don’t think that’s the word you wanted to use.”

Lafayette looked back and forth and then narrowed his eyes a little bit, “What does contaminating mean?”

“It’s...like, spreading disease, sickness, pollution.” John explained (poorly). He doesn’t know the exact definition but he knows that what Lafayette meant to say was not that.

“Oh.” Lafayette paused, “Well shut up. I meant the word for thinking with a C.”

“Contemplating?”

“Oui! Oui.”

John smiled widely at Lafayette. It’s...cute and funny to see the slight innocence in a person who doesn’t speak English as their first language. Lafayette, yeah, is far from innocent, but there’s a childlike curiosity that comes back to him every once in a while.

“Anyways, as we were saying,” John flicked his wrist. “I had to let you buy it or else we would’ve been there for...forever!”

“Well, I am French. You are American. Big difference.”

“How?”

“You are a slob.”

“Excuse me? I am not.” John narrowed his eyes, “I’m very neat, thanks.”

“But you have that American-ness in you. I am pure.”

“You’re bullshit.” John leaned closer to Lafayette, “And wrong.”

Lafayette raised an eyebrow at John, “I do not believe that I am wrong.”

“But you believe you’re bullshit.”

“You are absolutely infuriating, Laurens.”

John raised an eyebrow, softly grinning. The two held eye contact until Lafayette’s eyes started to wander around his face sightly. Nose, eyes, cheeks...then lips.

John held his breath.

Their lips connected – it was maybe less than a second, quick, nothing that would be classified as a ‘real’ kiss but it was there. He felt it. The pressure, slight jolt, increase in heart rate. But John pulled away as soon as it happened, jumped up from the floor.

Lafayette seemed shocked and confused at a second due to his own actions. His eyebrows furrowed, staring at the floor. But when John began to quickly stuff things into his backpack, Lafayette stood up as well.

“John—,” He began quickly. He didn’t know what came over him. John was just...there. He was there and it was in the moment.

“I have to go.” John whispered, “My dad’s probably waiting for me.”

Lies – John’s dad could care less, he still thinks that John is out with a girl named ‘Marie’ since John just...didn’t correct him at all – but he has to get out of here.

“You cannot walk away. I am sorry.” Lafayette rushed, “I...-”

“There’s nothing to say.” John dismissed. After stuffing his books into his bag, he turned to look up at Lafayette, “You’re dating my best friend and I’m dating Hercules...kinda.”

“I know. It was sudden! An accident.”

“Keep it an accident.”

John brushed past Lafayette, walking towards the door. He pulled it open, accidentally slamming it when he closed it again.

_Why did the kiss feel so good, though?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *SCREAMS* I JUST WANT THE POLYSQUAD TO DATE SO HERE’S THIS KINDA RUSHED RELATIONSHIP BUT AT THE SAME TIME?? THERE’S A LOT OF SEXUAL TENSION BTWN LAF N JOHN SO THIS IS GOOD?? IDK DONT QUESTION ME OR MY STORY WFIEIFIUW  
> soz for not updating i was v busy, btw. Shits happening in the world and im v sad - as are a lot of others.  
> Ty for reading, ily all sm, comments and kudos are v nice, and yea!!!! sorry for the cruddy chapter??? my writing has been v bad lately idk why feuieh


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette and John feel terrible.  
> Also, you finally learn some stuff about John and Lafayette's past.

“You kissed John Laurens!?”

Lafayette glared at Eliza as she yelled (a bit too loudly) at Lafayette’s predicament. They’re in a park right now, mostly alone since it’s cold as hell out and dark. But Lafayette called Eliza as soon as he did what he did.

“Yes.” Lafayette hissed, “And keep your voice down, please. I do not know what happened. It was...a heat of the moment thing, I guess. We were fighting and then kissed.” Lafayette sighed. He slumped against a tree. “It was only for a second.”

The two are sitting on the grass. It’s slightly damp, and it’s making them colder than they already are, but they don’t mind. Lafayette’s in shock right now and his own dumb actions. He knew that he was attracted to John looks-wise (of course. He’s beautiful) but enough to kiss him without thinking twice at the time?

“A second or not, Laf, you’re _taken_.” Eliza lectured. Lafayette sighed and nodded, pulling his legs up to his chest as he looked up at the sky, counting the stars. “You have to tell Alexander. You can’t keep it from him or let John get to him first.”

“I will.” Lafayette said right away. “I was going to tell Alexander anyways. He deserves to know. I am not a cheater, ‘Liza.” Lafayette played with his fingers. Another reason he’s so set and at ease with telling Alexander is that Alexander likes John...sure, Lafayette did a dumb thing, but maybe Alexander would understand. Maybe it’ll make him hopeful.

Does Lafayette want to date John, though?

Their personalities clash completely. John is quiet, reserved (unless you know him), kind, and takes things slowly. Lafayette is loud, mean sometimes, has too many anger outbursts, and rushes relationships. They’re both so different.

“Well...” Eliza trailed off as Lafayette shot her another look. She sighed, “I’m sorry, Gil...but...did you like it?”

Lafayette stayed silent.

“Marie-Joseph!” Eliza exclaimed. She slapped Lafayette’s arm with the back of her hand, “are you serious!?”

“Yes! No? I...” Lafayette groaned, “I do not know, ‘Liza! It was nice. But it was less than a second so I do not know. He did not seem keen on the idea...he has Hercules, you know? And I have Alexander.”

“Exactly. He’s in the right mind set. You? You want to get your dick wet.”

“Not true! I feel like shit.” Lafayette rubbed his face and took a shaky breath. Eliza softened a bit. She frowned as she laid a hand on Lafayette’s arm.

“Talk to Alex. And then John.”

“John? Non.” Lafayette refused, “There is nothing to say. He has made it very clear what he wants: Hercules. I will not...like, ruin that. Besides, what if I do not even like him? Oh my God. This is torture.” Lafayette rambled, “I went from dating absolutely no one to Alexander and pining after John and Hercules.”

“Ha!” Eliza pointed, “So you do you want to date John and Hercules?”

“I am not saying that I want to.” Lafayette avoided eye contact with Eliza at all costs, “I am just saying that if it were to happen I would not be opposed – you know what? I do not have to answer to you.”

“You aren’t answering to anything. You’re talking about your feelings. That’s healthy, by the way.” Eliza grabbed Lafayette’s hands. “So talk.”

“There is nothing to talk about. Look,” Lafayette sighed, looking at Eliza. “I appreciate your help and your concern but I have this under control.”

“I know you. You’re going to try to push down your emotions.”

Lafayette raised an eyebrow, “Oui. Is that bad?”

“Yes, that’s bad! Gah!” Eliza sighed loudly and squeezed Lafayette’s hands. “You can’t keep everything bottled up. Keeping your emotions from Alexander and Hercules – at the time – nearly killed you. I know you have this badboy exterior up or whatever but—,”

“Eliza.” Lafayette cut her off. She closed her mouth and frowned. “I can deal with this. I’ll tell Alexander, apologize to John if he even speaks to me, and then that’s it.”

Eliza shook her head. “Alright.”

* * *

“YOU KISSED LAFAYETTE!?”

“Oh my God, Peggy, any fucking louder!” John hissed, narrowing his eyes at Peggy. He needed to meet her as soon as the damn kiss happened so instead of going home, he obviously called her. He couldn’t go to Alexander – Lafayette is his fucking boyfriend, after all. And he sure as hell couldn’t go to Hercules. So, obviously, Peggy.

They’re walking on the beach despite the freezing temperature and John’s minimal layers. Peggy was smart enough to wear a coat but John was in a rush and that rush did not involve going home to grab a jacket. His embarrassment and regret was burning, anyways. So close enough.

“I’m sorry! But _oh my God_.” Peggy’s eyes widened as she ran a hand through her hair.

“Besides,” John took a deep breath before Peggy could speak again, “He kissed _me._ There’s a huge difference, right? It was spur of the moment, meant absolutely _nothing_ and...” John bit his lip. “...Yeah.”

“But...did it mean absolutely nothing?” Peggy interrogated. John looked over at her.

John knows that he took too long to respond to her question – too busy mentally contemplating if he actually felt something or not. “It was a second.” He settled on saying, “Even if I felt something there was no way in hell for me to know. Plus, it’s _Lafayette_.”

“So? You and Hercules reconnected.” Peggy nudged John’s arm softly with hers.

“Well...Hercules and I are different, Pegs. I didn’t tell you everything Lafayette and I went through.”

“You hardly told me anything.” Peggy commented as the two of them stopped walking, sitting down on the cold (and slightly damp) sand. They stared out at the water. John pulled his legs to his chest. “So can you enlighten me?”

“Now?”

Peggy nodded and John sighed.

There’s a reason he tries not to talk or think about what happened between him and Lafayette. Whilst it isn’t too bad (comparing to a lot of things other people go through) it still hurt him a lot. Gave him a lot of reasons to not trust people.

Of course, after Lafayette he did have Hercules and then the sisters, but it’s nothing that could really compare to the bond John and Lafayette had.

“Alright. I’ll tell you.” John didn’t look at Peggy. “But it’s your fault if I cry.”

“I’m here as your shoulder.”

John smiled a little bit and took a deep breath, “Okay...so, we were close. Lafayette and I were closer than Alexander and myself, you and I, anyone, really. I was for sure he was my other half, y’know? I went so long in my life without a friend and when I finally found one, someone who I thought was going to be in my life forever, shit changed.”

Peggy didn’t speak as John continued. “He started to get aggressive at first – but it was subtle. I would accidentally spill some drink and he would flip out. I didn’t think much of it, I’d be pretty pissed if someone poured drink on my carpet, too, but it got worse.”

“He would sometimes shove me into walls whenever he got really pissed off, he stopped listening to what I had to say. It wasn’t good, I know...but he was the only person I had so I stuck around through the abuse. And I...was dumb. I said things back, yelled at him back, pushed him back the best I could despite being smaller than he was...our friendship was gross.”

Peggy frowned. She laid a hand on John’s back. All she used to get out of him was a bitter ‘don’t wanna talk about it’. This is something entirely new.

John continued, “Then he began to hang out with Jefferson more. He got a lot more aggressive towards me but we were never usually together since he spent most of his time with Thomas and everyone else.” John played with his shoelaces. “But when we were together it was _bad_.”

“We’d mostly see each other in school. I would try to talk to him, he’d shove me and tell me to leave him alone. I think he was mostly embarrassed.” John rolled his watery eyes. “I mean, of course he was. I’d be embarrassed off me, too.”

Peggy cooed softly and continued to rub John’s back.

“Anyways...” He cleared his throat and wiped away a few tears that slipped down his cheeks. “We stopped talking soon after that – I met Hercules, bless his soul. Erm...” John swallowed. “Basically, it was toxic. All of it. I...I dunno if there was a specific reason he was a dick or not...but that’s the gist of what happened.”

Peggy frowned. She sat up on her knees and pulled John into a hug, his head resting on her chest. She ran her hand through his hair, “I’m sorry.” She apologized softly.

John shrugged, “It’s fine. I needed...to get that out.”

Peggy continued to run her hands through John’s hair. They sat silent for a while. “I know why Laf was the way he was.” She commented. Her voice stayed gentle.

“...Why?”

Peggy pulled away from the embrace. She pushed John’s hair away from his eyes and wiped some of his tears. “That’s not my place to say.” She said and began to stand up. “I’m not saying that you talk to him – you don’t have to at all. You don’t have to forgive him either. But if you want to know I think the right thing to do is speak to him.”

John stood up slowly as well, wiping the sand off of his pants. “I might.”

Peggy smiled, grabbing John’s hand and squeezing it. The two began to walk down the beach again.

* * *

“You’re going out to a dinner and a movie. You aren’t _dying_.” Alexander watched John pace back and forth. They’re currently in Peggy’s bedroom – accompanied by Peggy, of course. John’s date with Hercules is in an hour-ish and he needed his two best friends there as moral support.

John feels incredibly guilty for kissing Lafayette (or, well, for Lafayette kissing him) but John didn’t mention it. He doesn’t know if Lafayette mentioned it yet or not. All John knows is that the two of them have been avoiding each other.

Well, aside from a quick text John sent to Lafayette saying that he’ll finish the write up if Lafayette finishes the model. They agreed on it (despite being against it at first) but to be honest, being left alone with Lafayette is the last thing John needs right now.

_The last thing John needs right now is to fall in love with someone else._

Let alone Lafayette.

John has to talk to Lafayette sometime soon, though. Mainly about what happened all those years ago. John just needs to know why and the fact that Peggy knows and won’t tell him is driving him absolutely insane.

“It feels like I’m dying.” John breathed in shakily, “Oh my God what if I’m dying?”

“Jesus, John. Sit down.” Peggy patted the bed, eyebrow raised. John did so, sitting down on her yellow (typical) duvet. “You’ll be fine. You literally went out to dinner with Hercules before.”

“Okay, well, that was different. He thought I was just helping him with his assignment – even though the intention was to ask him out. But he didn’t know that! Now we’re going on a date. Like, a proper date. What if we kiss? Oh my God what if he kisses me?”

“You kiss back.” Alexander raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t need your _sass_ right now, Alexander.” John narrowed his eyes jokingly but also? Yeah, no joke at all. He’s freaking out and the last thing he needs is Alexander’s smart-ass answers. However, he does like to listen to Alexander speak, and anything is better than his over-powered mind right now.

“What? I was just answering honestly!” Alexander exclaimed. He sighed upon actually sensing John’s nervousness though. Peggy looked down at her phone, then at Alexander and John and raised an eyebrow.

Alexander wrapped an arm around John’s shoulders and John held his breath a bit. He’s been trying to get over Alexander the best he could. Being in love with Alex, Hercules, and (maybe?) Lafayette is becoming too much for his jumbled brain to handle.

But when Alexander does shit like this?

All of John’s progress tumbles down around him.

“You’ve got this.” He assured. John turned his head, looking up at Alexander. John tried to ignore how close their faces are. No way in hell is he kissing someone else. “Hercules is too soft for his own good. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Well, I worry. It’s what I do.” John snapped his head away from Alexander. He was going to make a slightly sarcastic (but too real) anxiety joke but decided against it.

Alexander hums. Trying to get John’s mind off of his date, he spoke. “Has Laf been acting weird to you guys?”

John and Peggy both stiffened.

Great, his mind off of one thing big thing and onto another big thing.

“Erm...” Peggy cleared her throat, “I don’t speak to him.”

“Haven’t spoken to him for a little while...why?” John tried to act as cool as possible but he’s a terrible liar. Did Lafayette tell Alexander and Alexander is just acting dumb? Or does he genuinely not know? Either way, it makes John feel like shit.

“He’s just...distant. He seems guilty.” Alexander sighed. “He won’t talk to me about it and says that everything is fine, though. I dunno. I’m bad with relationships and knowing if things are going smoothly or terribly.”

“I’m sure it’s fine.” Peggy spoke before John could get out a jumbled sentence.

_He feels so fucking terrible._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Laf and John's friendship was v toxic and abusive BUT when they get together it'll be a lot healthier bc ~communication~ dw I wont try to normalize abusive behaviour.  
> 2\. THINGS ARE COMING ALONG FI N A L L Y  
> 3\. I rlly wanna see fan art of Laf + Eliza bein bffs idk I feel like it would be super cute  
> 4\. IN GENERAL if u wanna make fan art for this story my twitter is moderndodie & my Instagram(s) are sluttyjamilton (it's kinda a secret acct i dont use my real name on it) and modernlaurens  
> SO IF U HAVE ANY OF THAT GOOD STUFF THEN send it to me there ??? if u wanna?? idk omg.  
> OK YEA THAT'S A L L !!!!   
> comments r dope  
> so are all of you <3


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JOHN AND HERCULES GO ON A DATE AYYY

_**Hugeh Pain: are you there yet ;)?** _

_**Hugeh Pain: Nervous??? still??** _

_**Hercules: yes and yes** _

_**Hercules: I’m sitting outside the fucking schuyler’s house like a loser. Do I go up to the door or just,,,wait** _

_**aaron: obviously you go up to the door hercules.** _

_**Martha: He’s nervous!!! be sympathetic. But yes, herc, go!!** _

Hercules sighed, clicking his phone off and stepping out of the car. He’s so fucking nervous – he’s never really dated many people (let alone someone as adorable as John) so he’s been freaking over it ever since Hugh (Hercules’ brother who’s currently in University), Martha, Dolley, Aaron, and even somewhat Theodosia convinced him to ask John out.

Honestly, before that Hercules had just accepted that John wasn’t into him that way and just needed him as a date to the dance. Hercules apparently thought wrong.

Hercules walked towards the door and took a deep breath. The window above the front door was open, so when Hercules knocked on the door he heard a loud scream (Peggy’s) and someone yell ‘oh shit!’ (Alexander).

He was only standing there and waiting for around 20 seconds before Angelica opened the door, her hair up in a towel, wearing a pink onesie and a green face mask. “You’re here for John, I assume?” She asked without hesitation.

Hercules nodded slowly. Even without fancy clothes and her makeup done, Angelica still manages to look intimidating as hell.

“Alright.” She spun around and yelled out, “Peggy!”

“We know!” Peggy yelled back, “Tell him one second! Invite him in or something!”

Angelica turned back to Hercules and despite knowing that Hercules heard, she said, “They’ll be a second. Wanna come in to wait?”

“If that’s okay...” Hercules nodded. It’s cold as balls out, he’d appreciate it to be honest.

“Totally.” Angelica nodded. He heard a beep from – Hercules assumes – the microwave. “Follow me. You can watch John walk down the stairs here or whatever cheesy shit you want to do.” Angelica wrapped her hand around Hercules’ lower arm, dragging him towards the living room.

“Angie! They burned a bit. Is that oka...oh, hi Hercules.” Hercules sat down on the large leather sofa in the living room and looked up at Eliza as she walked in, a large white bowl in her hand. She looks the same as Angelica except her hair is up in a bun and her onesie is blue, not pink.

“Hi...” Hercules said. Eliza smiled at him and passed the bowl to Angelica, taking her phone out of her onesie pocket and quickly texting someone.

Hercules looked back and forth between the staircase (a big, swirly one) and the sisters.

“He’s here for John.” Angelica raised an eyebrow and grinned, sitting on the sofa and wrapping a fluffy blanket around her.

“Oh...” Eliza dragged off, sitting down next to Angelica. She quickly texted someone once more, smiling brighter, “Cool!” She put her phone down on her thigh.

Hercules smiled back at her nervously.

“I now present—,” Hercules heard after a few tense seconds.

“Peggy. No.” Hercules then heard John’s hushed voice, seeming anxious and slightly irritated.

“Why? It’s cute.” Hercules then heard Alexander’s voice.

“It’s embarrassing.”

“I’m doing it.”

“Oh my God, Peggy.”

“Eat a dick.”

“Gladly.”

“Shut up, Alexand—,”

“I hope you all know that Hercules is right here and we can all hear you perfectly!” Angelica called out. She snorted upon hearing John mutter a quick ‘shit’. Hercules smiled a bit fondly, looking down at his lap and shaking his head.

“Well I’m doing it!” Peggy said. There was a soft thump, a laugh, and Peggy rushed down the stairs. She nearly tripped over her own feet whilst doing so, “I now introduce to you!” She began, slightly out of breath and in between giggles, “John Laurens!”

“Go!” Alexander whispered and then John squeaked softly, running down two stairs to stop himself from falling – Hercules can only assume that Alexander pushed him. John flushed, straightened up, and turned even redder upon seeing Hercules who was watching with an amused and fond expression.

“Uh...” John cleared his throat, running down the stairs and pushing some hair behind his ear, despite Peggy just putting it up a few minutes ago some of it already managed to fall out, “Hi.”

“Hi.” Hercules stood up, smiling at John. John straightened out his red t-shirt and took a deep breath, “Are you ready to go?”

“Totally. Erm...” John looked at Peggy, sent her a playful glare, and then did the same thing as Alexander walked down the stairs.

“Hercules! Dear, bring him home before 9pm!” He spoke dramatically, kind of like a middle-aged, rich, white housewife.

“Of course.” Hercules seemed amused but John was, quite honestly, horrified.

Hercules knows Alexander and how he acts. Hell, he even somewhat knows how Peggy acts, but this is practically the equivalent of having really cringey parents right now. However, John is trying to not let it distract him. Did he really expect Peggy and Alexander to stand by and let John walk down by himself and without embarrassment?

Of course not.

If his mom is dead and his dad would kill him if he knew he was going on a date with a boy, he needs some sort of embarrassing factor before dates.

“Well, in that case, have fun!” Peggy exclaimed, beaming as she waved over-enthusiastically at John and Hercules. John stepped down from the stairs and stood next to Hercules. John bit his lip, cleared his throat, and grabbed Hercules’ hand, dragging him away from his embarrassing friends.

Assholes.

He loves them, though.

“Sorry.” John apologized quickly, looking up at Hercules.

“No, it’s fine. Amusing.” Hercules laughed, “Seriously. Besides, I wouldn’t expect much from the two of them. It seems like a...them thing to do.”

“Tell me about it.” John released a shaky breath. He forgot about how genuinely nervous he was during that exchange. He was embarrassed, yes, but he forgot for a second that he was going to be alone with Hercules.

And they’re probably going to talk about their...feelings.

And that’s really not John’s strong point.

“Trust me, it would’ve been worse if you came to my house. My mom is a nightmare.” He joked, opening the door for John. John stepped outside, shivering. “And my brother is home from Uni for Thanksgiving so that’s also a nightmare. My whole family is embarrassing.”

John smiled softly, “I met your mom, like, once I think?”

“Yeah. And it was terrible.”

John laughed and followed Hercules to his car – yeah, it was kind of embarrassing. Not for John, but John could see how awkward Hercules was.

His mom is nice, overly nice at that. She’s the type of mom that shows naked baby pictures to everyone she possibly can.

Bless her soul, though. She’s an angel.

John has never met Hercules’ brother, though. And he knows that Hercules’ dad and mom broke up a while ago so obviously Hercules’ dad wouldn’t be there so John doesn’t have to deal with that (hopefully).

“It wasn’t! She was cute.”

“Yeah, to you. I’d rather not cute boys know about my embarrassing childhood.” Hercules opened the car door for John and John bit his lip, trying to stop himself from smiling (it didn’t work).

“You think I’m cute, eh?” He teased, poking Hercules’ side before John slipped into the car.

Hercules leaned on the car door, not closing it yet. “Obviously. I’m taking you on a date, aren’t I?” He raised an eyebrow. John looked down and laughed quietly. “And I thought you were cute back then, too.”

“Ew. You did? Braces John?”

“’Course.”

Hercules closed the door and John released a quick breath. Let’s get this night started.

* * *   
“It was alright. I’m confused – I don’t really do musicals.” Hercules said to John as the two walked out of the movie theatre. They just got finished watching _La La Land,_ a movie John has been wanting to see for too long and used his fear of horror movies and his dislike of action movies to get his own way to finally watch it.

“Really?” John asked, bringing the straw of his drink that he didn’t finish in the theatre to his lips. He raised an eyebrow, “I liked it! And I like musicals in general.”

Hercules shrugged, “I like a few but I’m not a hardcore fan. Dunno.” The two walked side-by-side, hands dangling. John was itching to hold Hercules’ hand and Hercules was feeling the same way. None of them made the first move, though.

“It was a movie that definitely easily relates to white, straight people though.” John admitted, looking up at Hercules. “I couldn’t really put myself into any of the characters.”

“Me neither. I think that was my issue.” Hercules confessed. “I don’t really like watching movies that I can’t slightly relate to – at least movies or musicals like that.” He shrugged.

John hummed and nodded as the two continued to walk.

So far, tonight has been pretty good. They didn’t get anything for dinner yet (they were going to be late for the movie if they did) so now they’re just walking to a fast food restaurant. John refused to accept Hercules bringing him anywhere that was too expensive so they settled on KFC.

John doesn’t really...like KFC but it’s something – and it’s not overly expensive.

Plus, they’re kids. Okay? Where else where they going to go? A French restaurant that John isn’t able to pronounce the name of?

“Y’know...” Hercules began slowly, after a few minutes of comfortable silence, “We should probably talk about our _emotions_.”

John groaned softly at how Hercules worded it, “Do you have to be so blunt?”

Hercules grinned. He knows – and remembers – that when it came to talking about anything relating to romance, John always got blushy and embarrassed. Crushes, past relationships, or mentioning that someone is flirting with John was always enough to put him into a state of stutters.

Nothing really changed.

“Yes. Or else you’ll dance around the subject.” Hercules bumped shoulders with John.

“Of course I’ll dance around the subject...” John bit his lip. He sighed. He knows that he can’t just ignore this. They’re on a date for fuck sakes!

But he’s still scared and nervous.

So many things could go wrong.

He tried to push them down as Hercules started to speak again.

“I just...don’t want to keep waiting around, y’know? We’re graduating this year and I think that pining after each other this much is just getting tedious at this point.”

“It’s only been like...a month.”

‘A month too long.” Hercules joked. John smiled as Hercules continued, “Anyways, yeah. I think that talking will do us some good for once in our lifetime.”

John slowly nodded, “I guess so.”

“I know so.” Hercules raised an eyebrow, bumped shoulders with John again, and the two finally arrived to the restaurant. It’s practically empty aside from two teenage girls talking to each other in the corner. “What do you want?”

“Erm...” John bit his lip and shrugged, “A chicken burger is fine.”

Hercules nodded, walking up to the counter to order. John followed after him quickly, “I’m paying for my own food.” He whispered. Hercules looked down at John and shook his head.

“Nah. I’m paying with my bank card so it’ll just be easier for me to pay for it all at once.” Hercules held up his finger, signalling that he’ll finish speaking in a second. He quickly ordered their food and stepped aside to wait, “And if it bugs you that much then you can just give me the money back. But I don’t mind paying.”

“Well I’m gonna pay you back regardless.” John bounced up and down on his heels.

He hates people paying for his things no matter what. John is incredibly wealthy and honestly has no idea what to do with his money half of the time. His dad has no idea what to do with it, either. It’s continuously used on useless shit and John is perfectly capable of buying his own things.

“Okay, John.” Hercules smiled and shook his head.

After a few minutes, the food was done and Hercules grabbed the tray, walking towards an empty table. John dragged behind a little bit, sitting across from Hercules.

“So...” Hercules said as soon as John sat down – he’s not waiting, is he? “Us. What are we?”

John hesitated, “What do you want to be?”

“I asked you first.”

“I asked you second.”

Hercules smiled fondly, taking the food off of the tray. He handed John his food. “Well...in that case; I want us to be something instead of pining friends.”

John bit the inside of his lip and then sighed, “Yeah...but I’m not out. I don’t want to force you into a relationship that isn’t 100% out. I’m not ready.”

“You aren’t forcing me into anything and I don’t mind if you’re out or not.” Hercules said softly. “That doesn’t change me liking you. We don’t have to be affectionate in public, I won’t tell anyone we’re dating unless you give me the go ahead...”

John stayed silent for a few seconds.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.”

John stared at the table. He’ll still feel bad regardless. Because John, despite absolutely adoring Hercules, also has a huge crush on Alexander and (maybe?) Lafayette. He likes three people at once, and has come to terms with the fact that he’s poly.

So...despite all of his best interests, and going against everything John has worked to put up (aka not talking about his feelings) he decided to tell Hercules this before dating him – or, well, making it completely official.

“Well...” John released a shaky breath, “I should tell you something first.”

“Hm?” Hercules hummed.

“I...I’m Poly? I think. I’m nearly 100% sure.”

“Polyamorous?”

“Yeah...” John sighed, “And I like two other people aside from you. I don’t want to date you and not let you know this. I don’t know...I feel like it was good to say.” John avoided Hercules’ gaze, “But...probably not.”

This is the first time he’s ever really admitted that he’s poly to anyone besides Peggy. He doesn’t feel...ashamed, perse, but this isn’t the ‘norm’. A part of him feels dirty and wrong for wanting more than one person.

He knows it’s okay – it’s not wrong, Polyamory isn’t cheating, but there’s still this feeling deep in his gut that tells him that this is wrong.

Hell, he still gets that feeling in his gut about being gay.

Hercules smiled and shook his head, “I am too.”

John cocked his head to the side and finally met eyes with Hercules. “What?”

“I am, too.” Hercules repeated.

“Really? You aren’t just...saying that to make me feel better?”

“No.” He assured, “So don’t worry about it, yeah? We can deal with your little crushes when the time comes and I’ll be all for it. As long as they’re good people, y’know...”

John tried to fight back a wide smile but it absolutely didn’t work in the slightest.

“Okay.” John covered his cheeks and scrunched his nose, “Okay. Yeah. Cool.”

“Now...” Hercules leaned closer to John and laid his chin on his hand, “Since that’s out of the way, can we finally make ‘us’ official?”

“Is this you asking me out, Hercules Mulligan?” John pressed his lips together and smiled, raising an eyebrow.

“100%.”

“Well in that case...yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *LOUD PANTING*  
> So I have a few things to talk about  
> 1\. this chapter sucks. i’ve never been on one (1) date in my entire life bc i’m smol  
> 2\. FINALLY we’re 2/4 of the way towards the fucking goddamn fucking polysquad  
> 3\. Sorry for not updating in forever. I have excuses!!! I was attacked by a cat (lol) and I had to go to the hospital and get a shot and shit like that and I wasn’t able to really lay my computer against my leg bc it hurt rlly bad (i got attacked bc the cat was male and I own 2 female cats and idk HE WASNT PLEASED LMAO)  
> 4\. ok so I already know that this story is gonna have A LOT of plot holes. Like, a lot. I’ll try to fill out some of them the best I can but after this story is finished im probably gonna start a texting story as like a sequel thing?? mostly to fill out plot holes in an easier and purposely messier manner lmao  
> 5\. annd this chapter confusing af im sorry   
> yea that’s it i think! Sorry for the long wait ily guys


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette finally talks

“Before you tell me anything, can you answer me this: is this news bad and will it make me cry? Because if so, I would prefer that I go home and you tell me over the phone so you don’t see me cry.” Alexander said to Lafayette, sitting cross-legged on Lafayette’s bed.

The day after John’s date with Hercules, Lafayette finally decided to stop pussying out and just tell Alexander what had happened. The guilt has been eating him up and, Jesus, it was only a one-second kiss but they’re _dating_ and it was a kiss with someone who wasn’t Alexander.

Not only that, but it was a kiss with John Laurens, one of Alexander’s best friends.

“I do not know if it will make you cry...” Lafayette said slowly, “I do not think that it will.”

“That’s not promising.” Alexander laughed nervously, rubbing his bare arm. He didn’t really know what to expect when receiving a text from Lafayette saying ‘we have to talk. Come to my house’. It was blunt and that’s all Lafayette really provided.

“It depends on how sensitive you are.” Lafayette shrugged. He sat down next to Alexander, “I am going to explain it slightly first instead of dropping it on you instantly.”

“You’re gonna sugarcoat it?” Alexander sighed loudly, “Can’t you just tell me straight up?”

“Non.” Lafayette replied, to which Alexander groaned again. He’s trying to hide his nerves – either Lafayette is going to break up with him or something else terrible. But maybe this will explain why Lafayette has been so distant and different in general lately.

“Now...a little while ago, maybe a few days, John and I were working on our school project...”

“Does this story have to do with John?” Alexander cut Lafayette off. He’s getting ansty to put it simply – he hates sugarcoating things and he hates when other people sugarcoat things, too.

“Yes.”

Alexander’s eyebrows furrowed, “Okay...continue, then.” He said, a lot more alert and (slightly) anxious now.

“So, we were working on our project,” Lafayette sighed, “And we were close—,”

Alexander cut Lafayette off once again. He’s not very good at listening to stories, “You kissed John, didn’t you?”

Silence.

The silence was there for a little too long for any of their comfort – the two of them aren’t quiet people and being in silence makes the both of them super uncomfortable. Soon Lafayette sighed, nodded, and looked down at his lap, “Oui.”

Alexander stayed silent for a few more seconds before snorting loudly, “I thought it was going to be a lot worse than that.”

Lafayette’s eyebrows furrowed, “Wait, you’re not mad?”

“The only thing I’m mad about is that _you_ got to kiss John before _me_.” Alexander reached out to grab Lafayette’s hands.

Lafayette finally looked up at Alexander again, tracing the boy’s face to see if he’s lying at all. He didn’t find anything – no hurt, sadness. He seems amused (slightly jealous, maybe. But amused). “But I did it without your consent. I know that you are poly but—,”

“It’s fine, Laf. John is...well, he’s John. It’s not like you guys fucked or anything,” Alexander paused, “Wait...did you?”

“Oh my God, non.” Lafayette laughed loudly.

“Good – that would’ve pissed me off.” Alexander chuckled softly. He raised an eyebrow, “So...what happened exactly?”

“Well...” Lafayette shook his head, “It was a mess. We kissed for maybe less than a second and John got very upset and left nearly right after.” He shrugged, “I have not spoke to him about it.”

“So he left right away?”

“Yeah.”

“Ouch.” Alexander joked, “Do you like him?”

There was more silence as Lafayette hesitated to answer. He kind of does – it’s not overpowering nor does he think about it constantly but whenever he’s asked about it – yeah. He thinks he does, “I...think so.”

“Yes!” Alexander exclaimed, sitting up on his knees and wrapping his arms around Lafayette’s neck, “Good. Thank God.”

“You know...” Lafayette wrapped his arms around Alexander’s waist, “I did not expect to date someone who is excited about me having a crush on another man.”

Alexander giggled, looking up at Lafayette and sitting up a little bit, pressing a quick kiss to Lafayette’s lips, “That’s the poly life, babe.”

* * *

“That’s...so gay.”

John rolled his eyes in amusement at Alexander who was staring at John and Hercules’ hands that are (secretly, mostly out of view) locked together. A large amount of John’s and Hercules’ friends already used the joke.

For example, he told Peggy a few days ago and instantly she sent him a text saying ‘ha. Gayyy’. Dolley and Martha chant ‘gay’ whenever they stand next to each other, Theodosia always makes a heart with her hands when she sees them (even though they don’t see each other often it still happens) and even Aaron coughed into his sleeve and muttered ‘gay’ at them.

People have known (at least, their friend group) that they were dating since the night it happened and that was around 3 nights ago. They still aren’t over it yet and they’re still very, very amused at their own jokes.

“Really? I thought it was straight.” John muttered sarcastically. Hercules laughed, rubbing his thumb on John’s knuckles softly. John isn’t ready to come out to the whole school, obviously. There’s a huge part of him that feels terrible for Hercules because he’s hiding it but Hercules is understanding thankfully.

Alexander raised an eyebrow, “Gross.”

“Thanks.” Aaron spoke up absentmindedly. Then he said, sarcastically, “Heterophobic.”

Alexander sent him a harsh glare to which Aaron quickly spoke out, “A joke! That was a joke.”

Alexander shook his head and laughed, nodding. “I know.” He assured, then looked over at John, “Also, I have to talk to you later.”

John tensed up.

About what?

Lafayette didn’t tell John that he told Alexander what happened. John thinks that it’s still a secret that he’s suffering with and complains to Peggy about every single day. So of course John’s head is swirling into panic – did he somehow find out without Lafayette telling him?

Is he mad?

He doesn’t _seem_ mad.

“About...?” John asked slowly.

Hercules, Dolley, Martha and Aaron soon enveloped into their own conversation about...God knows what. John wasn’t too focused on that. Just Alexander.

“Stuff.” Alexander responded bluntly, smiling at John’s irritated expression as Lafayette made his way to the table, Angelica and Eliza trailing behind him, speaking to each other softly.

“My dear!” Alexander spoke dramatically, tone slightly sarcastic.

“Mon chou!” Lafayette said back, wrapping his arm around Alexander as soon as he sat down. Lafayette didn’t sit at their table since ‘the incident’ so John is a bit more worried now – Lafayette must have told Alexander.

Great.

Angelica cleared her throat after a few seconds, stopping her conversation with Eliza.

Aaron, Martha, Dolley, John, Alexander and Lafayette looked up.

“Hi!” Alexander exclaimed.

“Hi.” She rubbed her hands together, eyes drifting across the table, “We’re having a party.”

“Oh?” Dolley raised an eyebrow and laid her head on her hands, “That’s interesting.”

Angelica rolled her eyes at Dolley, crossing her arms over her chest, “True.” She said sarcastically and cleared her throat once again, “We’re having a party and I’m inviting all of you because you’re either friends with Gilbert or Peggy.” She paused. Her eyes narrowed a little bit towards Martha and Dolley specifically, “Don’t take it as a compliment.”

Martha laughed loudly and dramatically and John just...sat confused.

What happened between those three?

Angelica is bitter towards someone who isn’t _John_ for once.

He made a mental note to ask Peggy later.

“Why thank you, darling. I was just about to declare my undying love to you. Thank God you stopped me from that embarrassment.” Dolley spoke with an over-dramatic southern accent, laying her hand on her heart and batting her eyelashes quickly.

Angelica scoffed, “come or don’t. I absolutely do not care.”

With that, she turned around and rushed away quickly. Eliza shook her head, sent an apologetic smile towards everyone at the table, and rushed off after her sister.

There was silence for a few seconds.

Alexander spoke first. “What was _that_?”

“Trouble. That was trouble.” Hercules responded, “Are you going?” He asked – mainly aimed towards Martha and Dolley.

“Absolutely.” Martha crossed her arms over her chest, “Only to show her how amazing my time can be without her. Bitch.”

“Mega bitch.” Dolley said after, “so of course we’re going.”

“You're fighting fire with fire here.” Aaron mentioned.

Dolley hummed, “Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally,,,,never have Martha, Dolley and Aaron in this story and I NEVER have Angelica either so...here’s some more drama bc i need them in here more.  
> I haven’t even really developed Martha and Dolley’s personalities yet. All I know is that they’re super gay gfs who lov each other.  
> I need Theodosia more, too. she’s only ever been mentioned. Rip.  
> OK SORRY FOR LATE UPDATE N SORRY FOR SHORT CHAPTER BUT!!! YA  
> also, I'm thinking of making a texting fic (god i fuckin love those) so if I did would you read it??? xoxo


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander and John talk.

“I’m sorry but that’s not my drama to spread around.” John managed to catch Peggy as she was walking down the hallway towards her class and needed to ask her about what happened between Angelica, Dolley and Martha before he couldn’t for another little while. Hercules, Dolley, Martha and Aaron refused to say anything and Lafayette and Alexander seemed pretty confused so they probably didn’t know anything.

John sighed at her answer, “Why not? It couldn’t be that bad.”

“Not...that bad.” Peggy shook her head as she continued to walk. John is walking in the complete opposite direction of his classroom and didn’t even get his books yet but he just wants to know what’s going on.

He knows that he’s going to regret doing this when he has to walk into a classroom late with his anxiety on full blast but he’s saving those thoughts for a later date – aka a few minutes from now.

“Well can you tell me a little bit?” John asked, “I might be going to this part—,”

“Oh, you are definitely going to this party.” Peggy butt in.

John rolled his eyes, “Okay, I’m going to the party so I want to know what’s going down before someone throws a drink.”

“Like I said; not my drama to spread around. But...” Peggy sighed, “It happened last year. Something bad happened between the three of them and they’ve been passive aggressive to each other ever since. No one really knows about it – just Eliza, myself, Hercules, Aaron, and obviously Angelica, Dolley and Martha. If you really want to know, ask Angelica.”

“Oh yeah. Let me just _walk up_ to Angelica AKA the woman who can murder you with her _eyes_.” John hissed, “Plus, she despises me!”

“Not despises. She’s gotten over the despising part.” Peggy laughed a little bit. Then she shook her head, “But, yeah. I’m sorry I can’t tell you anything. You know I would if she wasn’t my sister. But she is my sister and I can’t just...tell people about it without her consent.”

“Can you...ask if you can tell me?” John beamed.

Peggy shook her head, “No can do. You wanna know? You ask.”

“Ugh! Peggy!”

“Sorry.” Peggy grinned. She stopped at her classroom door.

“You better be.” John joked, “Oh, and before you go into your class: Alexander asked me to speak later and I think Lafayette told him.”

“Oh.” Peggy whispered, “Oh. Damn. Well, tell me everything.”

“What makes you think I want to?” John raised an eyebrow.

“You’re gonna tell me everything.”

“You’re right.” John groaned, “Whatever. Talk to you later, I have class.”

“Mhm!” Peggy beamed, patting John’s arm before turning around and walking into her classroom. John spun around on his heel, speed-walking towards his locker. He occasionally slowed down whenever seeing a teacher but as soon as he passed them he’d speed up more.

He grabbed his English book as quickly as he could, fumbling with the lock (of course). As soon as he grabbed his book the bell rang and he cursed quietly under his breath. He doubts he’s going to make it there.

Still, John began to run down the hallway (still slowing down whenever he saw teachers), cursing loudly upon seeing the English door closed – of course it is. Of course this is his luck. He must have missed the first bell.

Dammit.

John cleared his throat and paced back and forth in front of the door for a few seconds.

He should just skip off.

Sure, he’ll get in trouble with his dad and he’ll probably get a detention but it’s way better than just knocking on the door and doing the walk of shame.

He’s only a few seconds late though, right?

So not a big deal!

Except...to John it is.

John continued to contemplate for a few more minutes before sighing, shaking his head and ducking past the classroom, quickly making his way towards the front doors and walking out. No thanks.

* * *

**Alex <3: hey why weren’t you in english today???**

**Alex <3: and laf said you werent in science**

**Alex <3: you okay?**

**John: ya im fine!!**

**John: I just skipped out**

**Alex <3: oooo rebel ;)**

**John: Hardly**

**John: ~~anxiety~~**

**Alex <3: ew gross. Im sorry :(**

**John: it’s okay !!!**

**Alex <3: :((**

**Alex <3: can we still talk today?**

John pursed his lips.

He was hoping to get out of this.

He knows he can’t push the time back, though. The longer he pushes it away the longer the guilt builds up. It’s better to get this over with so he can move on and put all of his focus on Hercules, like Hercules deserves.

**John: yea sure**

**Alex <3: cool!! where do you wanna meet??**

**John: the park? Im already here so**

**Alex <3: ah convenient for you**

**John: Yep :p**

**Alex <3: ya that works**

**Alex <3: isnt it cold?**

**John: Kinda chilly. Not that bad tho**

**John: youll need a sweater**

**Alex <3: Okay!!! see u soon**

John clicked his phone off and laid it down next to his thigh.

He stared ahead of himself for a while, his sketchbook in his lap. He wasn’t really drawing anything in particular, just random headshots of people that he’s never seen before and will probably never draw again. He’s bored and needed something to pass the time.

John watched as the sun slowly started to go down. It’s going down a lot earlier now since the seasons are rapidly changing. He’s excited.

John looked down at his phone again as someone else texted him.

**Hercules <333: hey, are you okay? **

**Hercules <333: you weren’t in school after lunch**

**John: ya im fine**

**John: just anxiety n stuff its okay**

**Hercules <333: im sorry baby**

**Hercules <333: that sucks. What happened?**

**John: late to english class nd i panicked a lil. Wasnt too bad. dw.**

John continued to text Hercules about everything and nothing then, waiting for Alexander to arrive at the park. Soon there was a shadow looming over him and John looked up, smiling nervously at Alexander. Alexander smiled back, sliding down and sitting next to John on the cold grass.

“How long have you been sitting here?” He asked.

John sighed loudly, “Long time. My ass is numb.”

Alexander laughed loudly and John smiled at his laugh, “I’d imagine. The earth is hard as fuck.”

“Wow really? Thought it was made out of, like, fucking jello.”

“It actually isn’t! I know. Mindblowing.”

John laughed, raising his hand to his head and opening his fingers, making a ‘boom’ effect and sound at the same time. Alexander smiled brightly at him, shaking his head as he looked forward.

The two sat in silence for some time.

It was comfortable but slightly tense from John’s end. He has no idea what Alexander is about to lay on him – it could either be entirely predictable or not predictable at all. John could be stressing out about this for no reason.

Or, he could be stressing out about this for all of the right reasons.

Soon, Alexander spoke.

“You kissed my boyfriend.”

John nearly choked on his own spit at Alexander’s blunt words. He doesn’t seem angry – more so amused.

“What?” John asked. He shouldn’t play dumb and he also doesn’t want Alexander to repeat what he just said so why did he say ‘what’? Well, he has no idea.

“You kissed my boyfriend.” Alexander repeated, turning his head to look at John.

John’s mouth ran dry for a few seconds – he didn’t know what to say, either.

What do you say to this?

“He kissed me.” John defended, words rushed and shaky. “I didn’t...it was an accident. I wanted to tell you, I swear, but I was waiting for the right time and I guess no time is right for th—,”

“John.” Alexander reached out his hand and grabbed John’s. John’s heart flipped. “I’m not mad.”

John stopped his rambling words, “Y...you’re not?”

“Nuh-uh.” Alexander shook his head, “Not at all. It’s kinda funny to me.”

“Funny?”

“Yeah.” Alexander took his hand back from John’s. “Especially the story and how you left so quickly.”

“I felt bad.” John shrugged, “For you, for Hercules...”

“Yeah. Well, no need to feel bad for me.”

“Is this all you wanted to talk to me about?” John asked slowly, “You wanted to tell me that you’re okay with the fact that I kissed Lafayette? For some reason?”

“Pretty much. That, and I wanted to tell you that Lafayette now has a crush on you.”

John’s eyes widened and his heart clenched with guilt. Someone else’s boyfriend likes John?

“W..what?”

“Yeah.” Alexander laughed. Not sarcastically, not angrily...genuinely.

This boy never ceases to confuse John.

“I’m sorry.” John frowned. He then paused, “But you guys seem fine, though. Are you not mad?”

“No. I mean, who wouldn’t have a crush on you?” Alexander raised an eyebrow and John held his breath.

Wait...

“Oh.” John gulped, “Well...I’m still sorry. Did he want you to tell me?”

“He said that I could tell you whatever.” Alexander nodded, “So yes.”

“I dunno what to say.” John confessed, giggling nervously, “I’m dating Hercules.”

“We know.” Alexander said, “We aren’t homewr—uh, I mean, Laf isn’t a homewrecker. Don’t worry about it.”

With that, Alexander stood up and looked down at John, “I have to get home for dinner.”

“Uh...” John nodded slowly and dumbly, not really processing what just went down, “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Alexander smiled, “You too.”

* * *

“HE SAID WHAT!?”

“That Lafayette likes me.” John squeezed his eyes shut, flinching at Peggy’s loud voice on the other end of the phone. He had to call her right away to vent to...someone. He’s not sure what to make of this whole situation.

“Oh my fucking God.” Peggy lowered her voice. There was silence on her end for a few seconds before she spoke up, “What’re you gonna do about it?”

“What am I supposed to do?” John asked, looking out the window in his room. He huffed upon seeing his dad pull into the driveway. He hasn’t seen his father in a few days and doesn’t want to see him now. John turned away from the window.

“I dunno.” Peggy murmured, “I’ve never dated anyone before and I don’t plan on it.”

John huffed. He knows it’s kind of silly to ask a girl who’s never dated anyone before for relationship advice – hell, Peggy is only in 10th grade and he’s hounding her with questions as if she isn’t. She’s fairly mature for her age, though. And she’s one of John’s best friends.

“I know.” John picked at a loose thread on his jeans, “I’m stressed. Do I just ignore it? Do I bring it up?”

“Depends.” There was some shuffling from Peggy’s end of the call and she cleared her throat, “Do you like him too?”

“I dunno.” John answered right away. Hes been thinking about it a little bit, to be honest. It isn’t out of the realm of possibility but John hasn’t hung around Lafayette enough to know. “I...plus all the stuff that happened. Would this even be a good idea?”

“Maybe.” Peggy said. John could see her shrug. “You like Alexander. Maybe if you get with Lafayette as well...”

“I have Hercules. And speaking of Hercules...” John sat up quickly, pressing the home button on his phone as he went into his messages to text him, asking him to hangout sometime soon. He needs to get his mind off of everything and spending some much needed time with Hercules sounds good.

“Yeah. You do have Hercules. But you’re poly.” Peggy reminded, “Does Hercules even know?”

...Right.

That’s one detail John had left out about their date.

“Yes.” John murmured, “I told him right away. I didn’t wanna keep it from him.”

“What’d he say? It couldn’t be that bad since he’s still dating you.”

“Erm...he is, too.” John responded, biting his bottom lip.

“Oh.” Peggy paused, “Well that’s good! Right? He’ll understand. That’s amazing!”

“I guess.” John squeaked, “That doesn’t change the fact that I feel disgusting and guilty for wanting to date multiple people.”

“You aren’t dirty and it isn’t disgusting.” Peggy assured, “As long as you aren’t cheating there’s absolutely no problem with it. Just keep talking to Hercules about it and don’t hide anything from him and you should be okay.”

“I hope so.” John laid down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling as he waited for Hercules to respond, “Hey, when was the party again?”

“This Friday. Dad’s leaving for a stupid business trip. Angelica asked to have a party and he said yes. So...” Peggy snorted.

John nodded, “Okay. Cool.”

“So you’re going?”

“Yeah. I probably won’t drink, though. Last time I drank I kissed Hercules by accident.”

“But that turned out good!”

“Kinda. We didn’t even get together because of the kiss, though. Hercules still thinks that I didn’t remember.”

Peggy laughed, “You gonna tell him?”

“Probably not. There’s no need – it was a few months ago.” John closed his eyes.

“That might be for the best. What if he mentions it?”

“Eh. I’ll tell him then.” John shrugged softly.

“Good.” Peggy stayed silent for a little while and so did John, “But you’re gonna have to talk to Lafayette.”

“Uh. No I don’t. Why would I have to?”

“To clear things up. At least tell him you don’t want a relationship. And if you do, talk to him about the messy shit in the past and ask him _why_.” Peggy replied.

“I don’t like that you’re right.”

“I’m always right.”

“Yeah.” John frowned, “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is this........plot I see??  
> i didnt expect this story to be so fucking slow burn oh my GOD just FUCK ALREADY jesus im WAITING  
> oh and speaking of fucking: ya there won’t be any smut in this story (understandably so – they’re in high school) and even tho they’re all 18 i just dont feel comf writing smut abt high schoolers lmao sorry bbs.  
> SO YA!!!! COMMENTS R CUTE ILY ALL SM


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the Schuyler's party.   
> (Trigger Warnings: V brief mentions of weed [no one does it], underage drinking, brief mentions of panic attacks]

“I told myself I would never go to another party again...yet, here I am.” John stood side-by-side with Hercules in front of the Schuyler’s house. The two can already hear the music pounding and John isn’t even inside yet but he can smell the alcohol and weed. He’s not exactly ready for this. His only goal of tonight is to not have a panic attack, really.

“Why did you not want to go to another party?” Hercules asked. Their fingers brushed together as they walked to the front door. Right. Hercules doesn’t know that John remembers everything. So John shrugged.

“Parties just aren’t my thing.” He said, pulling the front door open. His eyes drifted around the room. So far, there aren’t too many people here. He knows most of them. His eyes caught sight of Samuel Washington and George King – a few more familiar faces were here and there, too. No one he’s too particularly fond of.

John isn’t sure if Alexander and Lafayette are here yet. Alexander said that they were leaving a few minutes ago so they probably aren’t.

“Well, we can leave whenever you want.” Hercules smiled. He isn’t drinking – never does. John isn’t sure if he’s going to drink yet, either. He’ll see what happens.

“Thank you.” John smiled back at him and the two made their way into the house more. John tried his best to avoid touching very many people. He doesn’t have a problem with germs or anything but he isn’t too fond of accidentally groping sweaty, half-drunk teenagers.

John made his way towards the kitchen, followed by Hercules who stayed silent. John assumes that Hercules is going to follow him most of the night which he doesn’t mind. At least he won’t be alone. Besides, it’s Hercules. He adores the boy.

“You made it!” John heard over the pulsing music. He turned to his left, eyes landing on a clearly drunk Eliza. How long has the party been going on again?

She’s a lightweight, though. Always has been. She probably had two beers or some shit like that. He wouldn’t be surprised.

“I did.” John nodded. He tensed as Eliza slung her arms around his neck and squeezed softly.

Yeah – she’s definitely drunk. She wouldn’t willingly hug him otherwise.

“Good! Peggy wanted you here. So did I. Secretly, though. Angel does too...secretly. She also wants Martha and Dolley here...secretly.” Eliza made a ‘sh’ motion with her fingers as she pulled away from the hug. Her eyes beamed upon seeing Hercules, “And you!”

“And me!” Hercules laughed a little, hugged Eliza back when she hugged him.

“You boys...” She pointed a wavy finger at them, “Be good.”

John raised an eyebrow but nodded. She turned and walked away.

“Odd girl.” Hercules commented fondly.

“Drunk Eliza is a mess.” John laughed and finally entered the kitchen. There are a few people there but not many. The drinks aren’t in here, nor is any food, so there’s no need for anyone to really be in the kitchen other than to, you know, snoop.

John isn’t here to snoop, though.

He’s here for—, “Jack!”

Yep.

“Pegs!” John exclaimed back to her. She skipped over to him, hugged him tightly. Hercules stayed silent next to John. He laid a hand on John’s lower back.

“Thank God you’re here. I have hope in you, obviously, but also not that much hope. Y’know what I mean?” Peggy rambled a little bit, she turned to Hercules. Smiled. “Hercules! You’re here. Good. Keep an eye on him – erm, where’s _Alex and Laf?_ ”

She wiggled her eyebrows up and down quickly. Stumbled a little bit.

She’s drunk, too.

Not as much as Eliza – or maybe she is. John has never seen Peggy drink before – her sisters never allowed her to. He’s surprised that they’re letting her now.

“They said they’d be here in a few minutes.” Hercules responded for John. He didn’t seem to acknowledge the suggestive tone in Peggy’s voice and if he did he probably assumed it was just from her being drunk. He kept a strong hand on John’s lower back.

“Ooh. Good. Good!” Peggy bounced on her heels. She leaned up, kissed John sloppily on the cheek, did the same to Hercules, and bounced back, “Okay, I’ll be off mingling. Drinking. Eating. Have fun!” She exclaimed, turned around, and disappeared into the quickly growing crowd.

John released a large breath. He had to yell a little bit to speak to Hercules, “I’m already drained.”

“They have a lot of energy.” Hercules nodded and smiled, “Still feeling good, though? Despite...”

“Yeah. For now.” John nodded. He kissed Hercules’ cheek softly, “Should we wait here for Alex ‘n Laf or dance?”

“Whichever you prefer.”

“Don’t give me a choice, please.” John groaned.

“We can wait.” Hercules smiled – amused.

“Alright.” John took his phone out of his pocket, texted Alexander and told him where he was going to be, and shoved his phone back into his pocket. John nodded curtly towards a Freshman (he assumes by the size) and then felt immediately uncomfortable.

Why are there freshman at this party?

It’s an open party – of course there’ll be freshman – but still.

Do they have parents?

People probably think the same thing about Angelica, Peggy and Eliza right now, though.

John may have accidentally given them a disapproving ‘Mother’s Face’ - a similar one that he had given Martha when she came home drunk last year. It’s out of character for her, and from John’s knowledge shes never done it again.

Or...well, maybe she did.

_Teenagers are wild_.

John thinks, as if he isn’t a teenager.

John laid his head against Hercules’ bicep, grabbed at his hand and squeezed it softly. He sighed.

“What’re you sighing about?” Hercules asked gently.

“Nothing. Kids.”

“You’re a kid.”

“Well, _yeah_ , I know that. But smaller kids.”

Hercules looked up as John continued, “Makes me kinda ill. I have little siblings. What if they’re going out to dumb parties like this?”

“It’s possible.”

“Herc!”

“What?” Hercules rubbed his thumb against John’s back, “They’re – at least, Martha is – teenagers. Rebellious little shits. They’ll come around. Don’t think too much over it.”

“Ugh.” John groaned, “Do you think she’d be a rebellious little shit if I just showed her a little bit more love?”

“You’re not even drunk and you’re shooting out this.” Hercules joked, voice soft and fond. “Is she even rebellious?”

“I dunno. Are movies rebellious?”

“Not really.”

“Then...no. Not from my knowledge.” John shrugged. He made it a mental goal to spend some time with Martha, though. Sure, they don’t have all that much in common but he does care about the little shit.

“I’m just going to barge in here and say that, for one, I am not a party man. I hate getting drunk—,”

“That is a bullshit lie, mon chou.” Hercules and John looked over, watching Alexander and Lafayette walk in. Alexander, somehow, already slightly drunk, and Lafayette thankfully sober. Lafayette walked up to Hercules, gave him a half-hug and stepped back. He didn’t look at John.

“Ssssh.” Alexander giggled, bounced on his heels, and walked over to John. He wrapped his arms around hum, pulling John away from Hercules altogether, “I missed you~,”

“You saw me today.” John hugged him back softly.

“Too long.” Alexander waved his hand, scrunched his nose, and then pulled back, “Now let’s dance!~” Alexander paused, “No. No _you_ need drink.”

“No, I have decided against drinking.” John said, right then and there. Why? Maybe because he needs to keep an eye on Alexander – feels obligated, in a way. Him and Peggy. And maybe because he doesn’t want to somehow do something dumb like kiss someone who isn’t Hercules.

Like Lafayette...again.

Even worse; Alexander.

Well, not worse in the kissing regard. Just worse in the ‘you’re my best friend’ regard. It’d be kinda shitty.

***

“Truth or dare!”

Ah, yes, John’s least favourite combined words.

Especially at a party full of drunks.

John, Hercules, Lafayette and Alexander haven’t left each others’ sides all night, really. Alexander and Lafayette occasionally danced a bit away from them, John and Hercules danced as well (until being in the crowd felt suffocating. Hercules understood). Lafayette refuses to look at John. John just...assumes, now, that Alexander told him that he told John.

Part of John hoped that Lafayette would bring it up – sure, John hates confrontation, but he wants to know. He wants to talk about something for once in his life instead of avoiding it.

But he won’t bring it up. Never.

“C’mon!” Alexander exclaimed. He grabbed onto John’s hand tightly, pulled, “Are you playing?”

“I dunno.” John said slowly, softly.

“Pleaseee?” Alexander pouted, “It’ll be funn~ besides, everyone’s drunk.”

“ _You’re_ drunk.” John raised an eyebrow. Lafayette, Hercules and John are still stone-cold sober.

“Well. Ya.” Alexander grinned, “But please?”

John hesitated, then sighed, “Fine.” He said. _Anything for Alexander._

Alexander’s eyes glinted – was it with mischief? Probably.

“Are you playing?” John looked up at Hercules, who nodded. He hasn’t said much tonight – not surprising. Hercules doesn’t say much anyways. But having him around makes things a lot easier. He’s grounding.

The four of them walked towards the forming circle. John sat down next to a girl wearing all red – he sort of recognizes her. He thought for a second, then nodded to himself. Maria Washington.

Hercules sat next to John. Alexander and Lafayette had to sit a little bit away but John could still see them – sandwiched between Sally Hemings and Thomas Jefferson. Yikes.

And the game started.

Beforehand, they made a strict rule that anyone underage will _not_ be getting naked. Well, Eliza and Angelica made the strict rule. Everyone else just rolled their eyes and nodded.

_Then_ it started.

A lot of straight boys dared two girls to kiss (on the mouth) so much that it eventually got boring. Someone was dared to drink a beer in one minute, Samuel Washington was dared to give James Madison a lap dance – George King and Thomas Jefferson watched with hard and jealous eyes the whole time. The people who picked truth got a loud round of ‘UGHS’ and then the same, typical question; “who do you like?”

Then it was Alexander’s turn.

He turned to John, “John Laurens!” He exclaimed. Everyone watched – silent. John’s heart pounded, “Truth or dare?”

Every part of John wanted to say ‘truth’. Ride out the awkward pain of saying either ‘I like Hercules’ and outing himself or ‘I like no one’ and risk getting outed by someone else.

But he didn’t. “Dare.”

Surely Alexander would take it easy on him – it’s Alexander. His best friend.

But apparently drunk Alexander is brutal, “I dare you to kiss Lafayette.”

A few people screamed – girls, specifically, and a few boys laughed. 

Peggy looked anxious. Even in her drunk state.

John probably looks even more anxious.

“Seriously?” John asked. Lafayette sent Alexander a look that could kill.

“Yes. Get with it. A real one, too.” 

John looked at Hercules, for permission mostly. Hercules nodded.

_Dammit._

John sighed and stood up shakily. He knows he can use a chicken, but a small part of him wants to know if the feelings he has for Lafayette are actually real and this may be the only way he’s going to find out.

The worse part has to be that Lafayette is going to remember this and John can’t lie about not remembering it because he isn’t _fucking drunk_.

He should’ve drank.

John dropped down on his knees in front of Lafayette and glared harshly at Alexander. Alexander smiled giddily and everyone watched. Most people are drunk. Most people won’t remember.

But Lafayette and John aren’t drunk.

Lafayette and John will remember.

Unless, of course, Lafayette has amnesia. Is it cruel to wish that he does?

Probably.

John didn’t really want to waste any time or drag out the game, so as soon as Alexander said ‘c’mon!’, John pressed his lips softly against Lafayette’s. He wanted to pull away for that one second, but he remembered Alexander’s voice saying ‘a real one’.

Fucker.

John squeezed his eyes shut and Lafayette kissed back softly. John’s heart, literally, felt like his heart was going to escape his chest because...this doesn’t feel bad. He doesn’t feel disgusted. He feels close, and safe, like he does with Hercules.

Content.

John pulled away first, though, becoming aware of the eyes watching.

The two looked in each others’ eyes. John heard Alexander whoop and holler from beside them - he heard Peggy do the same. They’re both breathing heavily, John’s hands somehow on Lafayette’s legs. The game moved onto someone else.

Lafayette bent down, kissed John once more. _Soft_. A second.

_Fuck_ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at my gay in love boys *sheds tear*  
> but, like, finally amirite?  
> COMMENTS ARE SUPER DUPER COOL  
> LOVE U GUYS!


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John breaks down

As soon as Lafayette kissed him the second time – _as if it were a casual thing –_ John jumped up from the floor, pushed between Lafayette and Alexander and rushed out of the room – to where he wasn’t sure, exactly. But not here. Not right now.

Hercules was about to stand up and follow after his boyfriend but Peggy laid a hand on his shoulder, shaking her head. She stood up, stumbling slightly. She may be drunk off of her ass but her friend is in _need_ right now.

She passed Alexander who looks anxious – Lafayette looks mournful. Poor guy.

Eliza and Angelica shared a look – a knowing, sad, scared look. They watched their sister leave.

Peggy rushed away from the music and upstairs where she assumes John went. It’s off limits for the party – all the doors are locked with a key so there’s no way John could’ve gotten into any of the rooms. She was right.

He sat at the top of the stairs, tears streaming down his face, clutching onto his chest as if he were about to pull his heart out, “Oh, Jack,” She pouted, dropping onto her knees. It hurt a little bit (she literally dropped. Damn alcohol) but she ignored it, pulling John into a tight hug.

John doesn’t really know why he’s crying – it liked it. It felt good. Is that why he’s crying? Or is he crying because people watched him do it? He doesn’t know. Maybe both? Or maybe not any of it at all. Maybe he’s just fucked up.

It’s his anxiety. Definitely his anxiety.

“What’s up?” Peggy asked, close to John’s ear so he could hear her. John gulped, shaking his head and shrugging. He raised a hand to wipe his eyes, “Panic attack?” She asked.

And John shook his head again – no. This isn’t a panic attack. He knows what those feel like and this isn’t one of them. Clearly a complete emotional breakdown – over thinking the situation. The tears kept pouring and he didn’t know why.

“Oh.” Peggy ran her hand through John’s hair, brushing through some knots. They stayed silent for a little while. John continued to sob softly. He pulled his legs up to his chest. Peggy frowned, closing her eyes. She kissed his forehead.

“Is he okay?”

John jumped, nearly fifty feet in the damn air, at the voice. He snapped his head up, seeing Angelica and Eliza standing side-by-side. Eliza rolled her eyes at her sister’s question, jabbing her in the side with her elbow.

“Clearly he isn’t okay.” She muttered. She bent down, sitting on her knees. John watched them with blurry eyes. “That was a lot, yeah?” She whispered. She was drunk earlier tonight but she seems pretty sober, now. Angelica does, too. He isn’t sure if she was drinking though.

John nodded – didn’t know what else to do. Angelica bent down next to Eliza and grabbed one of his hands. When she did so, another flow of tears rushed down his cheeks, a heart wrenching sob ripping from his chest.

“It’s okay, Jacky. You’re okay.” Peggy whispered. She pressed John’s head against her chest, trying to make him more comfortable. She continued to run her hands through his hair. She looked up at her sisters questioningly.

She loves her sisters – really, she does, but after them seeming to completely despise John for months and now they’re going to put their differences aside to help him? Peggy is thrilled, obviously, but...

“Did Gil do something bad?” Angelica asked after a few minutes of silence.

John shook his head. Squeezed his eyes shut.

“He didn’t hurt you did he?” Eliza asked straight after.

John shook his head again, _not lately_.

“Okay...” Angelica nodded her head. She ran her thumb over his knuckles, “okay. Was it good? Did you feel happy?”

Peggy sent Angelica a questioning look – if he was happy why would he be crying?

John nodded again. Weaker, this time. More vulnerable.

“Yeah.” Angelica clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, “yeah. Explains it...must be so sudden and all at once, right? To find out you like someone whose been such an asshole to you.”

Eliza pouted.

“I...gu—guess. Yeah.” John cleared his throat, taking a deep intake of breath.

He doesn’t feel bad. Well – sort of scared. Terrified may be the best word to use for his feelings about the situation. But he isn’t sad.

“C’mere.” Eliza said. She shuffled forward, opened her arms. John hesitated as he raised his head from Peggy’s chest, leaning forward. Eliza hugged him tightly – she hugs like a mom. Protectively. He nearly cried again but held it back, tears stinging his eyes as he buried his face into the crook of her neck. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry for being a dick.”

Angelica bit her tongue, clenched one of her fists a bit, and then sighed loudly, “I’m sorry too.” She said, “I really am. I was just being dumb and protective.”

“No.” John murmured. He pulled away from Eliza and wiped his eyes with his arm, “I should apologize. I cut you guys off c-completely. My fault. One hundred percent.”

“Fifty-fifty?” Angelica suggested. Softly smiled.

John softly smiled back at her, too, “Yeah.”

Angelica then pulled him into a hug, squeezing tightly around his shoulders. She kissed his temple. A few seconds into the hug there were a few gentle taps on the wall, “Knock knock.” John heard Alexander’s voice and pulled away.

His heart jumped upon seeing Lafayette, Alexander and Hercules all standing next to each other. Hercules and Alexander worried. Lafayette worried and a little bit scared. He’s staring straight at John, at his red eyes and nose and the tear streaks going down his cheeks.

Peggy looked up at them. She was about to sneer, say something sarcastic and be the bitchy, spoiled teenager she is (“daddy’ll hear about this!”) but she remembered: John was crying because he was overwhelmed with... _happiness._

Fear, yeah. Fear of happiness. Kinda. Sorta.

“Hey.” Angelica brushed some hair back from her eyes and cleared her throat. She looked at John, laid both of her palms against his cheeks, “You probably have to talk to them about some stuff, yeah?”

John slowly nodded.

Angelica leaned forward, kissed John’s nose, brushed some curls from his eyes and then slowly stood up. She spun around, then, eyes turning cold, marching up to Lafayette and pressing a sharp nail to his chest, “You be good to him.” She hissed dangerously.

John giggled a little bit. They’ve been getting along for...what? A few minutes and she’s already accepted him as one of her own again?

“Jesus, sis.” Peggy muttered. She stood up quickly. As did Eliza, “Leave him alone. John, I’ll see you later. Come find me before you leave.”

John nodded up at her. Eliza bent down one last time, hugged John tightly and sent soft smiles to the boys. She grabbed her sister’s arm, pulling her down the stairs, Peggy following suite.

Silence for a few seconds.

Then Hercules spoke, “Baby,” He cooed, sliding down the wall next to John. He pulled John into his lap and John had to stop himself – again – from crying. He pressed his head into Hercules’ neck, digging his fingernails softly into his arm. “We’re so sorry.”

“We’re?” Alexander asked. He’s still a bit drunk – slurring his words – but the situation seemed to sober him up a little bit. He bent down in front of John. Lafayette stayed standing. He doesn’t want to get too close to John. Scared he’ll freak him out again, “ _I’m_ sorry. I shouldn’t have done it. It was a part of my dumb plan to get you and Laf together, then somehow all of us. At once.”

Yeah...he’s drunk.

Alexander is honest sober but...not this honest.

John’s heart jumped at the words, though. That means Alexander wants a relationship with John? Not just that, but all of them? _Together?_

“And I am sorry.” Lafayette spoke up. His voice is soft and timid and John barely heard it over the music, “For kissing you that first time,” Hercules’ eyebrows furrowed. John pressed a gentle kiss to his neck, “And for kissing you...again...after the dare was over. But...” Lafayette sighed. He stepped closer but still stood, “Alexander has already told you this, but I like you. And it was very dumb of me to do what I had done.”

John didn’t speak for a little while. He continued to take shaky breaths. When he realized no one else was going to speak, he sighed, “It’s okay.” He murmured, “It was...nice. It was nice.”

“You were crying?” Hercules stated though it formed more as a question.

John sucked in his bottom lip, “Fear.” He said. Breathed through his mouth, “I went from...having no one...to having Alex...to befriending the people who I wanted nothing to do with ever again...to dating one of them...to liking two of them...”

Lafayette’s eyebrows furrowed and Alexander’s eyes lit up though he tried to hide his happiness (liking two of them! That surely means...)

John continued with a sigh, “It was overwhelming. I haven’t really sat down and thought out the situation until...well, tonight. It all crashed into me so suddenly. Which is why I was crying, I guess.”

Alexander frowned and grabbed one of John’s hands. There was some silence and then Alexander grinned a bit, “So...you like two of us, eh? And you’re dating one of us...” He wiggled his eyebrows.

John flushed. He didn’t even realize he said that.

“Shut up.” He murmured.

“No! I wanna talk about it, personally.” Alexander jabbed John’s side softly with his finger. John squeaked and Hercules held him closer.

“Tomorrow. When you’re sober and we’re all less emotional.” Hercules said. He raised an eyebrow, “Okay?”

“Yeah.” Alexander bounced up and down, “So...” He looked at Hercules, “Does that mean you’re okay with it...?”

“Of course I am.” Hercules said. John and Lafayette listened to their conversation silently. “You have to be out of your goddamn mind to not like you three.”

John and Lafayette flushed (out of character for Lafayette, he’ll admit, but it still happened.). Alexander squealed, wrapped his arms tightly around Hercules and John. He pressed a firm kiss to John’s cheek, then pulled away.

* * *

“You, John Laurens, are going to speak about your feelings with people...face to face?” Peggy asked, voice dripping in sarcasm as she gasped loudly. She called him early in the morning (after popping multiple pills and puking twice) to ask if he was okay. John spilled everything in a jumbled blur.

“That is beyond the point and I don’t appreciate your sass.” John rolled his eyes. He listened as someone walked up the stairs and passed his bedroom, footsteps heavy. His dad, probably. When was the last time he even spoke to him?

“Sorry.” Peggy giggled, “Seriously, though, you all like each other? Like, like-like?”

“Like-like.” John nodded. He stared up at his ceiling, at the glow-in-the-dark stars that don’t make him want to cry anymore.

“Dude!” Peggy exclaimed. John could practically see her wince because of her headache. She lowered her voice, “That’s amazing. Apparently all you needed was for Alexander to get drunk and dare you to kiss Laf.”

“Guess so.” John murmured. A smile tugged at his lips.

“M’happy for you, Jacky.”

“I’m pretty damn happy for me, too.”

For once in his life...he was content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Jaws Theme*  
> so we have some schuyler action! (WITH ANGELICA. WHAAA??)  
> and *deep sigh* finally. finally, finally, finally, they're talking about it - about them.  
> Comments r appreciated :^)


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The polysquad talk it out.

“Alright. I want no one to pussyfoot around the subject at hand. We’re gonna talk about it like _men_ because I’ve liked you all too long to be left in the dark for another day.” Alexander spoke loudly, boldly, as the four of them sat on a circle on Lafayette’s (gigantic) bed. His mother was gone for the day so they all collectively decided that it would be the best to have this talk there.

“Pussyfoot?” Lafayette asked – no teasing in his tone, just confusion. John and Hercules raised their eyebrows. If they haven’t heard that word used before they’re nearly 100% sure that Lafayette hasn’t. They were right, “What...?”

“Jump around. Beat around the bush. You know...avoid it.” Alexander shook his hand animatedly. John is honestly surprised that Alexander didn’t stand up yet so he can be even more animated. Sometime soon, he assumes.

Lafayette nodded silently and John laid his head on Hercules’ shoulder, reaching out to grab Hercules’ hand. John is gonna avoid speaking as much as possible – he’s bad at explaining his emotions, okay? Especially in person.

There’s a reason Peggy was so shocked.

“Well, if that is the case, who first?” Lafayette asked, looking around. His eyes connected with John’s for a second and he smiled. John blushed, turning his head to hide his cheeks. Asshole. Cute asshole.

“I’ll go first. The rest of you? Pussies.” Alexander said.

“Say pussy one more time, Hamilton.” Hercules muttered sarcastically. Alexander beamed and John lifted his head to look at him.

He stared straight at Hercules, “ _pussy_ .”

Hercules pursed his lips in annoyance.

“Can you two stop the married-couple bickering until we at least figure out all of this?” Lafayette asked, eyes flicking between the two in amusement. Alexander and Hercules both huffed loudly and dramatically.

“Fine!” Alexander exclaimed. He bounced up and down on the bed a little bit, “Fine. Anyways; I’m going first...I guess? What do I say...”

“Ooh. Alexander Hamilton at a loss for words. This is one for the history books.” John spoke for nearly the first time since he got here. He said a soft hi to Lafayette and Alexander, told Hercules that he was feeling okay when Hercules asked, and that was about it.

“You finally talk and it’s to bully me?” Alexander mocked offence.

“Always.” John grinned – coy.

Alexander scoffed, shoving John playfully before continuing, “alright, well, I like the three of you. Bottom line. Have since...uh...” Alexander pressed a finger to his lips, “liked Herc first, I think. But John soon told me he liked Hercules,” Alexander pointed a finger, “So I tried to squash the ‘like’ as much as I could. Started liking Lafayette soon after. Guess I’m a ho? I don’t know, always liked him...” Alexander snorted.

“Anyways, then it was John nearly right after. Dunno what he did but he did something – laughed, maybe, and...God... _he’s so pretty_ ,” Alexander turned his head. Stared right at John. “ _You’re so fucking pretty_.”

John released a weird squeaking sound (like, what?) and hid his face into Hercules’ arm again. Alexander grinned fondly, shook his head, continued, “I knew I liked you all after that. Told Laf as soon as we started fucking around...” Alexander pointed at Lafayette. Hercules watched Alexander talk and drew small patterns in John’s back. John just listened.

“Laf told me he liked Herc,” Alexander pointed, “And I was like: dope! All we have to do is get Laf to like John, vice versa. ‘Course, didn’t know if John liked me or not. Erm...” Alexander chewed on his bottom lip, “I wasn’t gonna bring it up unless it was absolutely necessary. Not a homewrecker, and I didn’t wanna ruin friendships. But, anyways, Laf came to me a while later and said: ‘ya, so I kissed John...”

Hercules raised his eyebrows, “Can someone explain that to me by the way? At least briefly?”

“Oh, ya! So, Laf kissed John for like one second when they were working on a project together. John panicked ‘cause faithful to you ‘n stuff – you guys weren’t dating at the time, though, just...fucking around – caused some drama. Surprised you didn’t notice.”

“I’m not very observive.”

“Clearly.” Alexander smiled, “anyways, I didn’t know what to do! I asked John to talk about it, I did most of the talking. Told John Laf liked him and then left. Then I made John kiss Laf during truth or dare. Bad idea or the best idea I’ve ever had? Both?”

“Pretty good idea.” Lafayette said. Then paused, “Well...maybe.”

“Kinda.” John murmured, “Woulda been better if it wasn’t in front of the whole school.”

“That’s an over estimate.” Alexander poked John’s side. John squealed and kicked his leg softly.

“Some people!” John scrunched his nose. He looked up at Hercules as Hercules nodded – face protective, “Shut up, Mister! You condoned it.”

“Well...” Hercules rolled his eyes and sighed loudly, “Y’know, I was hoping that maybe you’d like Lafayette after it.”

“Oh...so you did like Laf?” Alexander wiggled his eyebrows. Lafayette lowered his head and smiled bashfully.

“’Course.” Hercules nodded, “Just not as expressive with my emotions, I guess. I was devoted to John, obviously, but John told me he was Poly on our first date and I said that I was, too. Not like I was about to go fuck around with other people. If I caught emotions I caught emotions and I happened to like Laf for a while – Alex for a while, too. No big extravagant story, really. Passed it off as infatuation and that was it. Guess I was wrong about myself.”

“Aw!” Alexander exclaimed. He turned to Laf, “You. Go.”

“Uh...” Lafayette sat up straighter, “My story is longer. It is more complicated than two of yours so please, try to stay seated.” Lafayette pursed his lips and took a deep breath, “So, I liked Hercules first. I did not realize I like-liked him I had just assumed it was infatuation or a deep care – like the same care I have for Thomas.” Alexander rolled his eyes at the name. Lafayette continued.

“It was not, obviously. I realized that soon after. I ranted to every one I could about it: Thomas, James, Sally, Eliza...they all kept telling me to go after him. So, for the Halloween dance, I was going to ask Hercules originally.” Alexander pouted at that. Lafayette smiled and reached out to grab Alexander’s hand.

“However, around this time I had realized that I also like Alexander. It was not as strong, we only met a little while ago and I did not want to get to know him better because he...was friends with John.” John flinched, just a little bit, as he remembered the nasty group chat they had – the plan that started all of this, really. Alexander’s eyebrows furrowed.

“But Alexander asked if we wanted to hang out and asked me. Of course, I agreed. I was very irritated to know that Hercules was taking John, however. Jealousy and all of that.” He rolled his eyes, “I was very annoying. I tried not to show it...took Alexander to the dance and we started dating, thank God. He is beautiful.”

Alexander beamed.

“I tried to push away emotions for Hercules and it did not work well. I got jealous and would yell at Eliza or Thomas whenever I _was_ jealous. Alexander did not really know. He told me that he liked Hercules and John. Thrilled about the first part, not so much the second.” John flinched a bit again, “But we both disclosed that we were poly. But we were not going to reach for it or anything. If it happened it happened.”

Hercules and Alexander looked at Lafayette. John kept his eyes closed as he breathed deeply. Who knew that memories from only a few months/weeks ago could be so bad?

“Then John and I had to do a science project. I was very upset about it first – we did not get along. I knew it would be awkward but I tried to be a little nicer to him. We went to his house first since he had to get his car keys. He told his dad he was going out with ‘someone named Marie’,” John smiled and sighed loudly, “His dad thought that it was a girl.” Alexander laughed loudly. Hercules chuckled.

“Still does.” John’s voice was muffled by Hercules’ arm.

Lafayette smiled, “We went to the store. He absolutely schooled me on colour theory...”

“Not really. You were just picky.”

“Eh,” Lafayette waved his hand, “And he bought the paints. I then insisted on buying him lunch the next day...he was...adorable.” Lafayette cleared his throat, “Pouty, rolled his eyes a lot. Stubborn. He eventually allowed me to buy it for him, though. I realized I liked him I think at that point.”

“And then I kissed him a few days later. I was crushed when he ran out – I understood, however. Messy past, he had a thing with Hercules, and I was dating Alexander. This situation was not exactly ideal. I ended up telling Alex...Alexander, oddly, thrilled...and now we are here today.”

“Jesus.” Alexander whistled. He sat up on his knees and waddled over to Lafayette, kissing his cheek softly and sitting down next to him, across from Hercules and John.

Hercules looked down at John, speaking softly, “Want to go now? Explain?”

John pursed his lips, “Mine is more of a sob story. Not...teenage girl realization.”

Lafayette went a bit pale – course it’s a sob story. John’s life isn’t easy. It never has been easy. They must all sound like privileged white girls comparing to.

“That’s fine.” Alexander soothed. He reached his hands out to grab John’s, “We like you. We’re here for you.”

John scrunched his nose, “I may expose Laf and Hercules.”

“Expose?” Alexander asked softly.

“That is fine.” Lafayette said. He released a soft breath, “You can tell him everything.”

“Even about the proj—,”

“Especially.” Hercules answered.

“Okay...well...” John took a shaky breath, “I guess I should start by saying that: I liked Alexander before I even spoke to him.” John flushed and Alexander grinned, “He was open with his sexuality and with what he believed in, he was loud, and he wasn’t shy at all. I wanted nothing more to be like him – to be friends with him – to be with him...”

“Didn’t have any friends at the time, literally. Lost them all.” Hercules and Lafayette looked down, “So it was just me. And then Alex walked up to me, said: ‘hey. Let’s be friends’. Well, not exactly like that but somewhat. I agreed. Duh...he kept asking me to come to lunch with him but I kept saying no ‘cause I realized he was friends with Hercules...”

John took a deep breath, “Well, I soon agreed. I agreed and sat with him at the damn table and with my superb luck, he was also friends with Laf...” John gulped, “Fuck...okay, so, at the time we all hated each other. I hated Hercules and Lafayette, Lafayette and Hercules hated me – they liked each other, ‘course...”

“So...one night they texted me in a group chat. I finished having my depression-melt down because, well, I used to be friends with Laf and Herc. It hurt a lot to see them enjoying each others’ company whilst I semi-had Alex at the time and that was it.”

Hercules held John closer, tighter, wanted to make him feel more loved. “So they texted me. Said: we have to pretend to get along. For Alexander. Stuff like ‘John, we don’t like you at all, never will, but don’t drag Alex down with you.’. A lot of other abusive...shit.”

Alexander’s eyebrows furrowed and he narrowed his eyes between Lafayette and Hercules.

John squeezed Alexander’s hand tightly, “It’s okay now.” He said. Alexander still wasn’t happy about it, though. John continued, “I agreed. I didn’t want to make Alexander sad – never...” John took his teeth between his lips and closed his eyes. He took a shaky breath, “Then there was Jefferson’s – I think – party. Alexander left me mid-way through, asshole, and Hercules found me after I was getting made fun of by Thomas, I think, if I remember correctly. Dunno. It was blurry and I was panicking. Herc brought me outside...”

Hercules’ eyebrows furrowed – he didn’t think John really remembered this.

“So...we talked. And we kissed.” John muttered, “We kissed and I didn’t want to confront him so, yeah, I lied and said I was drunk off my ass. And, in my defence, Herc didn’t say anything about the kiss either. I would’ve confessed if he did. Alex knew,” John pointed, “And then I knew I liked Herc.”

Hercules kissed John’s head. He doesn’t seem angry or anything along those lines. John doesn’t know why he expected that Hercules would be angry of all things.

“We went to the roller rink, emotions hyper-fucking-sensitive. But, hey, Herc was being nice to me again—,”

“Cause Herc thinks with his dick.” Alexander said jokingly.

John giggled, “Mmm. The Schuylers were there – three other people who I fell out with. Peggy and I picked up where we left off, thank God, the other two hated me. Anyways, I was super gay. I just brought that up because my emotions were absolutely everywhere and Herc was super nice and I appreciate it.”

John continued on with the story – he explained how he wanted to ask Hercules to the dance so he did so by awkwardly suggesting to help with his homework, they nearly kissed and then the question was ‘popped’. He explained everything else, too, mostly in detail.

“And I didn’t want to like Laf.” He said, “But I did. And I tried to hold it off but Alexander dared us to kiss – so we kissed. And then he kissed me once more after the dare was over. And I knew I liked him. And...tada.”

John looked up at Lafayette and he hadn’t even noticed that the boy was crying until just then. He wiped underneath his eyes and cleared his throat, “I am so sorry.” He said softly.

“You better be sorry.” Alexander snapped – he probably didn’t mean for it to sound harsh but it did. He softened right away, “You two need to talk it out more than any of us do, huh? A lot of unmended wounds.”

John and Lafayette nodded slowly.

“Well, Herc and I can leave you two alone? For now...” Alexander suggested, “So you can talk without us.”

“Okay.” John whispered. His heart pounded a little bit but he knew it had to be done.

“Yeah.” Lafayette nodded in agreement. Alexander stood up and jumped off the bed. Hercules got off the bed as well. He kissed John’s forehead.

“We’ll be downstairs. Makin out~” Alexander joked. He then paused, “I’m kidding.” He said, “Unless we have the go-ahead.”

“You do you.” John said, waving his hands. Lafayette nodded and Alexander could’ve at least tried to conceal his excitement a little bit better.

“Okay. Bye! Well...see you soon? Whatever. Shut up. C’mon.” Alexander grabbed Hercules’ hand softly, dragging him out of the room.

And...silence.

Lafayette spoke first, “I am going to straight up say it: I have no excuse for my actions, and I will not blame it on this, however one of the biggest reasons I acted the way I was back then was very bad bipolar disorder and anger issues.” Lafayette pursed his lips, “I did not know it at the time and I did not have medication for it. And whenever I do not take my medication I get very explosive. I tend to not physically hurt anymore. Well, I do not at all...” Lafayette bit his thumb, “Anymore. And I know that I had hurt you. Between cutting you off for Thomas and hurting you because of that reason, and even this year...it was very dumb.”

“Oh.” John bit his bottom lip, “I was gonna ask...why you were always so...erm...explosive, I guess. So that’s my answer.” John looked down, “Ya. I don’t forgive you for it, really. But I have let it go.” John took a deep breath, “I’m trying to learn to not hold onto the past. It’s hard.”

Lafayette nodded and smiled a little bit, “The past still haunts me. Like, I keep thinking about what I had done. It is terrible. I am terrible and I cannot stress how sorry I am.”

“You’re not terrible.” John assured softly, “You fucked up. You did some irreversible shit but s’okay. You confessed to your dumb mistakes.” John shuffled towards Lafayette and grabbed his hands softly. “And I’m sorry, too. I wasn’t exactly the most supportive friend back then.”

“Supportive with what? You did what you had to do.”

“I yelled back.”

“It was defence.”

“Let me be sorry.”

“Okay, fine. But I do not think you did anything wrong.”

“Oh well.”

The two smiled at each other.

“This is kinda weird, isn’t it?” John asked, still holding Lafayette’s hands. He gently squeezed them and looked down. Lafayette sent him a confused look that John didn’t see but John continued anyways, “The fact that we went from that...to this.”

Lafayette nodded. He shrugged softly and leaned over to press a soft kiss to John’s forehead, “Mmm. If we agree to...this relationship...all of us...we will have to work on talking, oui?”

“Oh, hell yeah.” John snorted. He flushed softly and looked up at Lafayette through his eyelashes, “And I think this is gonna happen. Pretty sure Alexander wasn’t joking about making out with Herc. And...I want it. And...”

“Moi aussi.”

“Well!” John exclaimed. Maybe a bit too loud for the situation. He giggled awkwardly and shook his head.

“Shall we get them back in the room?” Lafayette murmured.

John nodded and sucked on his bottom lip, “I guess. Yeah.” John dropped Lafayette’s hands and stood up from the bed, stretching his arms out above his head. Lafayette stood up as well, wrapped an arm around John’s waist, and lead John downstairs where Hercules and Alexander sat.

They’re not making out – surprisingly – but Alexander is sitting in between Hercules’ legs as Hercules played with his hair, the two of them talking to each other softly. John could hear his and Lafayette’s names just a little bit without context.

His heart soared at the sight of them. Cuties.

“Bonjour. We are finished and no one cried.” Lafayette announced loudly.

“Already?” Hercules turned his head. He made sure Alexander didn’t move his since Hercules is mid-braid.

“Oui, oui! I did not...pussyfoot around.” Lafayette grinned and John giggled, scrunching his nose softly.

“My word!” Alexander exclaimed, “It lives!”

“It’s dumb.” Hercules kissed the top of Alexander’s head and when he was finished the braid (a few seconds later) he quickly shoved it into the ponytail holder that Alexander held out for him.

“It’s not dumb. It’ll catch on quickly.” Alexander leaned back onto Hercules’ chest. Hercules wrapped his arms around Alexander. “So...~” Alexander drawled. He motioned for Lafayette and John to walk towards them. The two did so. “Us. All of us. What’re we? We dating? We casually fucking?”

“Never.” John said quickly, “Casually fucking, I mean. Never.”

“Agreed.” Hercules said.

“Hopeless romantics.” Lafayette joked. Then seriously, “I think we all know what we want.”

Alexander nodded in agreement, “I want my boys.” He exclaimed, holding both of his arms out, “All of my boys. Together at last. Please?”

John wiggled from the soft arm Lafayette hand around his waist, walking up to Alexander and Hercules. He sat down on the sofa next to Hercules, laying his chin on Alexander’s shoulder. Lafayette smiled softly and walked up to the three of them, sitting on the other side of Hercules. He kissed Alexander’s cheek and Hercules’ temple.

“So yes?” Alexander asked, eyes wide and hopeful. Like a kid on Christmas morning.

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“Oui, mon chou.”

“Fuck yes.” Alexander breathed, relaxing completely against Hercules’ chest. He reached his hands out, grabbing onto John’s and Lafayette’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...  
> Ngl, the next chapter might be the ~last~ chapter...and I know, there's a lot of plot holes that haven't been filled out BUT I am going to be making a (sequel type thing?) as a texting fic, like I said.   
> I just *shrugs* dislike how I wrote this story. It was my first one in the fandom so it's gonna be close to my lil heart but, eh, not the ~best~ thing in the world. Obviously. Messy plot, messy writing, probably ~confusing as all hell~  
> SO hopefully a texting fic - as a sequel thing - will fill things out. Help w/ it. Shit like //that//.  
> I just wanna move on and focus on a few more stories I have planned and next chapter imma need yall to VoTe on what story u want me to write 
> 
> OH ALSO, (sorry this note is so long) can you guys tell me what ships you want me to write for future stories:  
> 1\. Alexander/Hercules/Lafayette/John   
> 2\. Alexander/Thomas  
> 3\. Hercules/Lafayette  
> 4\. Alexander/John  
> 5\. George Eacker/Philip Hamilton (might write a short oneshot abt them anyways)  
> 6\. Other (comment pls thanks I basically ship everyone in Hamilton Anyways)


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John says something that hes been meaning to get off of his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didnt edit this SO SORRY IN ADVANCE.

“Are you sure you’re ready?”

John linked his hands together, staring up at Hercules with an anxious expression, then flicking his eyes towards Lafayette and Alexander. They’re standing outside of John’s house right now and...he’s gonna do it. He’s going to come out to his whole family, his maids, his...his whatever-the-fucks. Right here. Right now. With his boyfriends by his side.

They’ve all been dating for nearly 5 months now and its been making John upset knowing that he can’t be as affectionate with them. Hidden hand-holds under the table were a thing, sure, and sneaky kisses between classes but...that was it.

It sucked seeing his boyfriends kiss and cuddle as John sat awkwardly.

“Ready?” John repeated. He bounced on his heels, “No. No, not really. But I don’t think I’ll ever be ready. So it’s now. Right now. Oh my God...” John squeaked, “Oh my God can I do this?”

“I think you can, oui.” Lafayette laid a hand on John’s lower back. “If it does not turn out well and he kicks you out or something – push comes to shove, of course, that might not happen,” John froze a little bit and gulped. Alexander kicked Lafayette’s shin. Lafayette frowned, wrapped his arms behind John from behind, “you can stay with me.”

“Okay.” John relaxed slightly back into Lafayette’s grip.

Lafayette has definitely picked up his act. He’s a lot calmer now and can easily manage himself. He forgets his pills on some days but Hercules has taken heart to bringing a small baggy to school with him if Lafayette forgot that day. Just a...small thing that Hercules does, being the fucking mother he is. Lafayette is also, believe it or not, the softest of all of them. He demands cuddles nearly every second of the day and it’s the cutest shit ever.

Hercules is, yeah, the ‘mother’. He’s calm and collected and handles situations easily. He gives great advice and is just, overall, a fucking amazing person who John adores so, so much. He’s like..their safe, sane middle ground.

And Alexander? A train wreck in probably the best way. He’s loud, dramatic still, needs all the attention in the entire world, but is quite literally the sweetest. Hes been stressing out a lot about University lately, though. But all he needs is some reassurance that he’ll be fine and that he’ll get through this.

“So are we going in? I’m cold.” Alexander bounced up and down. He leaned over, pecked John’s cheek softly, and then squeezed his arm.

John nodded, “Yeah.” He murmured, pulling open his front door.

This is his dad’s only day off in...forever. He’s demanding a stupid family dinner and John’s boyfriends are gonna crash it...cause, well, he needs them by his side during this. He won’t be able to do this alone. He’ll chicken out and live his life in complete fear.

“Jack?” His dad yelled out right away. John froze at his voice.

“Yeah.” John responded. He took a deep breath, “It’s me. Uh...I have some friends with me. Can they join us? For dinner?”

There was a long silence. Hercules closed the door as he walked in since he was the last and John took a large step away from Lafayette who still had his arms around his shoulders. Lafayette frowned, then took a nervous breath.

Why is he the nervous one? He isn’t coming out.

But this is his boyfriend. Lafayette knows how his dumb dad is – he’s dumb. Case closed.

John held his breath as his dad appeared around the corner, wearing a business suit as if he weren’t home, eyes cold and narrowed, lips pressed together in a thin line. His eyes flicked quickly over each person.

First Alexander, then Lafayette, then Hercules.

“Alright.” Henry finally said. “Who are you? And your parents?”

Hercules stepped up before Lafayette or Alexander, standing politely and straight. John looked up at him, staring fondly for a few seconds before tearing his eyes away. No need to be so fucking obvious so fucking soon.

“Hercules Mulligan. My mother is Sarah Mulligan – father is Hugh Mulligan though he doesn’t show much anymore.” Hercules responded. He held his hand out and Henry shook it slowly.

“Yes...I know Sarah, I think.” He murmured. He doesn’t seem all that interested but still turned his attention to Lafayette. He then paused again, “I know the both of you, don’t I?”

A charmer, thank God. He grinned confidently. “Oui. I was close friends with John for about 4 years now.” Lafayette responded, clearly keeping a large, large gap and hiding the fall out. “As was Hercules. And my name is Gilbert Lafayette, many other names in between, and my mother is Marie Lafayette.”

“Fine.” Henry recalled briefly. He turned to Alexander, “And you?”

Alexander froze.

“Mon chou?” Lafayette nudged Alexander’s side and John grew concerned. Alexander is quite literally never quiet. Sure, he doesn’t talk about his family much (John doesn’t even know his parent’s names) but is it this bad?

Alexander snapped out of his trance fairly quickly. There was still some awkward silence though, “Sorry.” He cleared his throats, “Uh...my parents are Martha and George Washington.” He paused as his boyfriends sent him a surprised look. How had he been related to the fucking principal, Maria, and Samuel this whole time? “Foster parents. They’re my foster parents.”

Hercules, Lafayette and John all shared the same look of ‘I had no idea’.

“George. A good man.” Henry said. “Well...they can stay, I guess. Martha’s friend is staying as well.”

John was surprised that Henry wasn’t being a dick but, also, not so much. He tries to act as fake as physically possible in front of guests. John sent Henry a quick look as he said ‘I’ll call you all down when dinner is ready’ and then disappeared again.

Lafayette immediately turned to Alexander, “Why did you not tell us?”

Alexander sighed, “It didn’t come up?” He squeaked. Then after a few seconds and feeling his boyfriend’s eyes on his face, he sighed again, louder. “I was ashamed, m’kay?”

“Ashamed?” Hercules asked, “Wh—,”

“I agree that we should talk about this but how ‘bout in my room?” John suggested, cutting Hercules off quickly. Hercules nodded at John and Alexander looked down at his feet. “We aren’t mad.” John rushed at Alexander, “just confused.”

“Oh! Oui! We are not mad at all. I am sorry if we made you feel that way.” Lafayette said quickly, following after John as he made his way upstairs towards his bedroom.

“No, no.” Alexander bounced a bit as he walked, “I’m just nervous. And I feel a little bit bad, I guess.”

“Don’t.” Hercules assured. They got to John’s room and closed the door. John locked it (just in case his boyfriends want to be pervs sometime later like _usual_.)

“Oh. Okay, well, it’s not a very long story.” Alexander sat on John’s bed. The three others followed after him and Lafayette drew Alexander close to his chest, “Basically, my dad left, my mom died when I was...eh, around 12? And I’ve been pushed from foster-home to foster home. Washington is the only person to keep me for this long and...I dunno, I didn’t want to burden Maria or Samuel with them being known as ‘the new guys foster siblings’ or whatever so I stayed quiet. Nothing big.”

“Then why were you ashamed?” Hercules asked softly. He grabbed Alexander’s hand as Lafayette ran his fingers through Alexander’s hair.

Alexander shrugged and then frowned, “You guys all have your biological family. You’ve known each other since high school started and...well, I arrived here because I was pushed from another foster home. Unwanted. I guess it’s kinda embarrassing to know that you can go from being welcomed to being unwanted so quickly.” Alexander closed his eyes, “Dunno.”

John frowned deeply. It’s upsetting to see Alexander – someone who’s usually so loud, upbeat, and happy, like this. Of course now John feels like absolute shit. How didn’t he notice? He of all people should notice someone hurting.

“It isn’t—you...you shouldn’t feel embarrassed.” John whispered, “The Washingtons are your foster family – family is in the title for a reason. They clearly want you around and we’re not going to judge you for being a foster kid.”

“We love you no matter what. No matter your background.” Lafayette whispered in Alexander’s ear.

“Thank you.” Alexander sighed, “Sorry...for keeping it from you.”

“No apologizes!” Lafayette exclaimed jokingly, “you are ours now.”

“That sounds ominous.” Hercules snorted.

* * * 

“Dad, I have to tell you something.”

Henry’s head snapped towards John. He was just in the middle of ranting about some switch in the government that John doesn’t care much about. Alexander was invested though (obviously) but that was about it. At least Henry likes Alexander, though. This might make things a bit easier.

“Is it so important that you had to interrupt my conversation with Alexander?” Henry asked, narrowing his eyes a little bit. John pursed his lips and took a deep breath. Martha sent John a weird look. He never willingly speaks during dinner.

“Yes.” John said. He could feel himself shaking already.

“Alright, then. Make it quick.” Henry said. He leaned back in his chair, eyes shooting darts through John. He shouldn’t do this. This could – no, this will ruin his life. There’s no way his dad will ever accept him. Not with the way he talks about gay people. Never.

“Okay.” John shifted in his seat. He jumped a little bit when Hercules and Lafayette (who were sitting on each side of him) grabbed each of his hands secretly. But he relaxed a bit. He has them. If he doesn’t have his father – nor his family anymore...he has his boyfriends. That’s all he needs.

Sure, there’s a possibility of losing his sister, but when she’s old enough to see him by herself he’s sure she will. Her, and the rest of his siblings.

He can do this.

He has to do this.

He’s sick of hiding and he’s sick of being scared.

John closed his eyes, took a large breath, and said, “I’m gay.”

“You’re not.” Came Henry’s reply one second after. He didn’t take time to register it or anything along those likes. Simply, straight out, ‘you’re not.’, “Tell me you aren’t.”

Lafayette and Hercules squeezed his hands tightly and John could see Alexander tense up from the corner of his eye. John knew this would be the case.

He knew his dad wouldn’t accept him.

There was just a small, small sliver of hope...

“I am. I’m gay.” John repeated, “I’m gay and it’s who I am—,”

“It’s not who you’ll be under my roof.” Henry stood up and John released another, louder, shaky breath as he pressed against his chair, “I’m going to set up a therapy appointment right now. If you refuse to go...if you refuse to get better –,”

“He isn’t sick!” Alexander raised his voice and stood up as well. He was across the table from Henry, and if Alexander stood next to Henry he wouldn’t be very intimidating since Alexander is short, but the standing up was there. The threat was...there. “He’s perfectly fine! What? Just because he likes boys you’re going to act like he isn’t a human? Like he’s broken?”

“He clearly is broken! He doesn’t want a woman. He’s a faggot.”

John flinched at the name.

“You’re a terrible man.” Alexander hissed.

Henry scoffed, “I want what’s best for my son. Being a filthy gay isn’t one of them.” Henry turned to John, “You either go along with what I want to do with you – and I know for a fact that it’s for the best – or you get out of my house. I don’t need you infecting my other children with your disease.”

* * * 

And so, John left.

He moved in with Lafayette for the remainder of the year – thankfully Lafayette’s mom didn’t mind. She did, however, force John to sleep in a separate room which was find and dandy. She accepted him, she was kind to him, he could speak to her (somewhat. She speaks French mid-conversation sometimes) but...she was good. It was okay.

Sure, John cried a lot about it. Who wouldn’t? His own father hates him because of who he loves. His own sister can’t call him anymore. John isn’t sure if she even wants to speak with him. She might hate him too.

He tries not to think about it.

And he focused on the Lafayettes, the Mulligans, and the Washingtons on graduation day.

He focused on his boyfriends on graduation day.

He focused on Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy on graduation day.

He didn’t focus on the large, empty space in the crowd.

He’s done filling his life with negativity. It was time for a change and it’s finally happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don’t....know.  
> But she’s OVER!! she’s ennnndddeeedddd.  
> The texting fic is up as this story is up (or a few minutes later whatever whatever) and i’ve actually decided on a brand new story that I have 100% planned out and need to pre-write some chapters for so look out for that!!  
> the plot of the new story est: John meets boyfriends Lafayette, Alexander and Hercules in a zombie apocalypse. Alexander is hesitant with John at first – he doesn’t trust him at all, but slowly learns to care a little bit for the man, they all meet up with [spoiler] and have to return her to her own camp and her own people. And along the way alexander, laf and herc fall in love w john and blah blah sappy stuff AND ZOMBIES  
> and i know that zombies scare some ppl but there won’t be much of them (lol) and there won’t be v much description on them i just wanted to write this.  
> AND that story is gna be a series. So, book one (Summer arc) book two (fall arc) book three (winter arc) and book four (spring arc)  
> it’s gnna be super cool and id Like it if YOU JUST...WAITED A LIL BIT FOR IT.  
> AND YA. I’LL MISS THIS BOOK A LIL BIT METHINKS.  
> LOVE YOU GUYS SM THANK YOU FOR JOINING ME ON THIS JOURNEY YOU’RE THE B E S T!!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So, first work in the Hamilton fandom AND on AO3 in general.  
> I'd appreciate knowing how you're enjoying it so far & I have prewritten a few chapters so chapters (should hopefully) be up every day <3  
> Also, I don't have a beta or anything like that so I'm sorry if there are any errors :^)


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